What is consumerism in relationships and how to get rid of it for a woman? Consumerism is a concept at the intersection of behavioral and family psychology. It applies to any relationship, be it work, personal or friendship. In addition to constantly lowered mood for you, it can have more global consequences – poor health, depression and a significant decrease in the quality of life. How to determine the consumer and get rid of it, we will consider further.
On the concept of consumerism
Consumerism is the use of other people’s Resources (mental, psychological, material to satisfy one’s needs. The concept is often confused with vampirism, but here your energy is absorbed not by an outside person, but by yourself, your minds.
From the point of view of psychology, consumerism has and positive features. It clearly establishes the functional responsibilities of a person. However, if these duties cease to be a joy and begin to raise questions, it means that the problem has gone beyond the bounds of life and needs to be addressed.
Examples of consumer attitude
We can talk about consumerism in the following situations:
- in Personal Relationships: If your man Demands from you warmth, Love, Attention, family comfort, but at the same time gives nothing in return. Also, you do not have the opportunity to express your feelings – for any manifestation of emotions, the husband asks – are you dissatisfied with something again?
- in friendly relations: If you respond to any request of a Friend (you respond with joy, And you receive indifference or refusal to act on your requests);
- in the professional field: you do overtime work, take on maximum responsibilities, and a completely different person is promoted up the career ladder;
- In the general field: the details of the rods will be available subsequently and will not be given to anyone who is interested in two of them. Libo was in the functional area in terms of the distribution of the strict – it is necessary for you to have it. And you no longer have common interests and topics, but only a clear adherence to your roles.
As you can see from the examples, in any of the situations you spend your resources, and consumers save and replenish the swatch. This is very energy-consuming for someone who is deprived of time and mental strength. By the way, as a rule, if there is consumption in one area of relations, then most likely in the rest as well. If your feelings and emotions are ignored by friends, then most likely the children, parents and husband do the same.
If we explain consumerism more simply, then this is the use of a person only from a functional point of view, without taking into account his personal characteristics. By the way, it is possible that you yourself are a consumer. It is better to abandon such behavior, because your energy shell is also suffering.
Here we can talk about such a thing as a victim. This personality trait is formed from early childhood. If your mother is constantly offended, guilty, and manipulated, then you are most likely experiencing the same problems. The solution of the issue lies in the expulsion of self-sacrifice from one’s personality traits and the acquisition of self-confidence, one’s strengths and the possibility of satisfying one’s own interests.
It is possible and necessary to work with consumerism. At the same time, you can do part of the correctional path yourself, but it is better to work out the deep aspects of the Solsichm.
8 prices, according to the situation
How to recognize a consumer?
Basically, the problem begins to worry us when it is reproduced in a man-woman relationship. In society, there is still an established stereotype that a man should earn money, and a woman should take care of household and children. But today, women work on an equal footing with men and also make a significant contribution to the well-being of the family, but household and childcare responsibilities very often remain unshared.
Here are a number of signs by which you can conclude that you are building your relationship with the consumer:
- You both work, but when you come home from work, you do cooking, cleaning, homework, and HE just lies on the couch and says he’s tired. However, if two people do not do it, it is practiced;
- You have not received compliments and flowers for a long time. Your actions in the form of a delicious dinner, an ironed shirt have become commonplace, for which it is not customary to speak! Often the “consumer” remains dissatisfied with the quality of the “services rendered”: you cook tastelessly, you always have a problem;
- your relationship has descended to the level of trade: “you – to me, I – to you”: you take a walk with the child, then I will iron your shirt, I provide for the family – you look after the children and clean the house, etc .;
- a man promises you a wonderful future: “I’m not ready for a new relationship right now, let’s leave everything as it is”, “I just went through a breakup, I’m not up to serious communication yet”, etc.
By the way, women can also be consumers, but due to their nature (the desire to care and give) and physical weakness, they often become victims of psychological tyrants.
Protect your resources
Do the corrections that are made, you should stop, that you will be happy with it. Character changes are possible only if the consumer himself wants to change. Use the following tips to improve communication:
- talk openly about problems, but when talking, do not take out all your resentment, anger and misunderstanding.
You can cause a strong EMOtional reaction, which will make the situation even worse. The conversation should be calm, but your tone should be firm and unwavering;
- protect your personal space.
For example, your husband wakes you up in the morning so that you iron his shirt. This is a clear example of consumption – Your significant other does not care about your personal problems and desires (in this case, rest and sleep). Tell your husband about your feelings and dissatisfaction;
- spend time on yourself.
Of course, the family requires a lot of personal time, but analyze whether it’s nice, but it’s nice to know that you’re alone, and you know it’s possible and happy. Sign up for eyebrows or manicures, go shopping or corny – lie down in the bathroom;
- don’t take on all the responsibilities.
Yes, you have work to do, but if your boss asks you to stay overtime, then, first of all, ask yourself how comfortable it will be for you.
There are many such exercises, but the most important thing to remember is that your personal time, desires, needs must be met first. If you put your life on hold for someone else’s sake, you’re just wasting your time. Sacrifice and consumerism are needed up to a certain point, until they start to draw energy from you.
Also remember that it is helpful to learn to say “No.” And you should not feel remorse or guilt if you did not want to help a person. Rejecting people is okay. This is, in a way, protecting your personal boundaries and your life.
Thus, consumer relations need to be worked on. Of course, the style of behavior develops from childhood and it is quite difficult to carry out a correction. In addition, the consumer cannot be changed if he himself does not strive to get rid of his shortcoming. In some cases, it is better to make an effort on yourself and disperse.