What is Guest Marriage? Pros and Cons of Guest Marriage

What is Guest Marriage? Pros and Cons of Guest Marriage
What is Guest Marriage? Pros and Cons of Guest Marriage

What is Guest Marriage?

What is Guest Marriage? A guest marriage is such a union in which spouses do not burden themselves with solving everyday issues. Despite the fact that the marriage is officially registered, the spouses prefer to live separately from each other. Issues of fidelity and distribution of parental responsibilities are decided individually in each couple.

This is not a temporary phenomenon – the spouses do not live separately because of the circumstances. Guest marriage is a deliberate choice.

How do people come to this non-standard type of relationship? This is often the second or third marriage for the spouses. They have already had time to taste all the joys of a traditional marriage – children, loans, vacations with a large and (un) friendly family, fading of feelings, everyday life, divorce. They have already played enough of “normality” and “standard”.

Disappointed in marriage and no longer want to repeat past experiences. They no longer need so much “closeness and unity” – now they like freedom and independence. There is no more strength for altruism and sacrifice. Dedicate yourself to your husband and children? Well, no, I’d rather focus on myself! A man and a woman in such a marriage want to be partners to each other rather than husband and wife.

What are the pros and cons of a guest marriage? Make yourself comfortable, we’ll find out now.

The Pros of a Guest Marriage

The three main advantages of such a union are convenience, freedom, and endless romance. All this makes the relationship almost perfect.

  • It is very convenient. You are the only master in your house and you can do whatever you want. Throw out your socks, drink beer, forget about weekly spring cleaning. Sharing your life and personal space with another person can be very difficult at times. No matter how loved he was. You need to negotiate, make concessions, show flexibility and sensitivity, be attentive to the wishes and needs of the other person. And still manage not to forget about yourself.

And you need to do this constantly. It is impossible to arrange everything perfectly once and for all. Life is a changeable thing. Who will be cleaning the floor this time? When? What will the other be doing at this time? A waste of energy. It is much easier to be responsible only for yourself.

  • Independence. You only spend your time on yourself. Spouses in a guest marriage can set aside as much time as they want for work and entertainment. If she wants to go to yoga after work, and not to the supermarket for groceries for dinner, she will do it with a clear conscience. And then – if she wants – she will look at the movies. And she won’t have to think about a hungry husband waiting for her at home. Ask for a party with your friends? Here’s another! She will return home whenever she wants.
  • Romance. Spouses in a guest marriage are not familiar with everyday life. Their whole life is a romantic film. Dates, flowers, restaurants, and weekends by the sea. In such a relationship, there is no all this everyday life inherent in traditional marriage.

The Cons of a Guest Marriage

This whole guest marriage story sounds tempting. But everything has its pros and cons.

  • Loneliness. Defenders of guest marriage shout about freedom, autonomy, and other delights of such a union. But whatever one may say, one cannot hide from loneliness here. Yes, you have a loved one. But he is far away. For example, because after work he went to yoga and is not going to answer your calls.
  • “Count on yourself only!” – this is the slogan of the guest marriage. But think about it carefully. Yes, you can live wherever you want and how you want. But in your luxurious suite, no one will be waiting for you with a cup of tea. Nobody will park the car for you. And no one will throw away the garbage except you. All responsibility rests on your shoulders. Of course, you can ask your spouse for help. But how nice it is to come home and receive help and support just like that, without reminders or requests.
  • Guest marriage is definitely not about intimacy. Not about accepting another person with all his merits and demerits. In such a marriage, you only know your partner from one side. You simply do not have the opportunity to study it properly.

And besides, your family budget consists only of your earnings. Again, you have to rely only on yourself.

Who Needs It? (Guest Marriage)

What is Guest Marriage? Guest marriage is a great option for career-focused people. And on ourselves.

Such a union is suitable for men and women who are afraid of intimacy. After all, the more we get closer to a person, the more vulnerable we become.

Any interaction with another person requires flexibility, the ability to compromise. Marriage is teamwork. There are people who are afraid of such responsibility. Or they just don’t need it. Guest marriage suits them much better than the traditional one.

There is no way to tell if a guest marriage is good or bad. You need to taste it yourself. For some it suits, but for some, it does not. For example, for anxious, painfully jealous women who are panicky afraid of betrayal, such a union is clearly contraindicated. Although such women in an ordinary marriage can drive both themselves and their husbands crazy.

Rely on your feelings. Do you like this? Is it comfortable? How do you feel in such a union? If you have weighed everything and came to the conclusion that a guest marriage is exactly what you were looking for, go for it!

We are all different. We have a different experience of relationships behind our shoulders. We grew up in different families and were taught different values. This is normal. The main thing is that both you and your partner feel comfortable.

PS What is Guest Marriage? Remember that if you are categorically against a guest marriage (or vice versa – only this type of relationship is considered the norm), and your partner has a different opinion, it will be difficult to reach a compromise. In this case, it is better not to deceive yourself and find someone who shares your views on marriage.

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