What is monogamy in humans in simple words and does it exist? “I will love you to the moon and back”, “I will never stop loving you, I only need you” – you probably also said something similar in your first relationship, you think at the age of 15 How, is complete monogamy possible? Do you think yourself monogamous?
What is monogamy today?
In general, monogamy is a form of family organization when one person has only one partner, in the absence of myolitis. However, in its classical form, such a format existed only in the Middle Ages: a girl was given in marriage of convenience while she was still a virgin, and all her life she and her husband had only common children and relationships only with each other.
Of course, it is difficult to live without love, where and both partners often made lovers, which can no longer be called a monogamy. What about modern marriage? After all, before him you had other men, relationships and even, maybe, other marriages.
There is a new name for such relationships – sequential polygamy. You can change partners every few months and still be monogamous.
Why mankind has chosen monogamy as an ideal?
For most animals, it’s simple – different female partners every year, different offspring and a variety of gene pools. The more different children a female gives birth to in her life, the higher the likelihood that her offspring will be preserved.
Human society began with the same approach, initially apes created pairs with whom in a row, and from which of the group the female had children, it was generally not clear. And it helped the most able to survive.
monogamy and polygamy
Over time, life became more complicated, children who lived in unstable families and did not have proper care died. Gradually, it turned out that the key to a strong family is educated children, for whose education forces are applied. And, of course, it is more realistic to do this for dad and mom together than just mom.
From this grew a profitable union – monogamy. In addition to the upbringing of children, He allowed to strengthen the position of each person – it was much easier to pull the complicated life with a partner. Not to mention the fact that members of the same family lived in the same village, and alliances were created with newcomers who were Crete. So it turns out that there were no options for partners, except for the chosen “husband”.
To some extent, the family format allowed humanity to take the next evolutionary step and begin to engage in more complex activities.
And since something is beneficial for a biological species, all representatives will support this particular option.
What is the need for monogamy today?
Today, the survival of a child does not depend on whether his parents are monogamous or not. Not private other than the material, redo it to the rassematrivaet bliss. However, these ideas, consciously or not, have survived through the ages, passed down through the generations.
Two rods and babies with children are not in the form of life, except as monogamy. For them, this is the only possible truth. And these people are now the majority in society. The world often changes faster than the society around you.
So the public need for monogamy has long disappeared, but the norms of society have not.
You remain a socio-biological being. Your biology is to pick up 24/7 the perfect man, handsome and macho, who has the coolest. A where people for such an eternal search will not praise you. Even voicing this natural desire is like death.
So it turns out that the only need is the opinion of society, from which there is no escape.
Why are people so aggressive about polygamy?
Present hundreds of let private parties in monogamy with unprivileged partners. To some extent, violence, forcing to have sex with a man whom the girl could see for the first time in her life. And this is a story that is only 100-150 years old.
The victims of this story had children and grandchildren. The latter became your grandparents. All these generations grew up in a clearly limited framework of sexual and EMO-rational lack of freedom – nothing is impossible. Even think.
Today, this generation is shocked by what is happening: for some reason, the generation of millennials was allowed everything at once, and even they are called to destroy the boundaries that the old generation, by right of those who were infringed upon in their youth, sets.
The older generation loses control, jealousy arises that they cannot deprive those who are rightfully below them (yes, the younger ones have always been less right).
Huge negativity, the need for love and intimacy repressed into the subconscious, the fear of losing control – all this pours out on you if you do not want to follow the path of your ancestors and are ready to get high from life.
What do the genes say?
American scientists from the University of Texas conducted a Deep Study, which studied 10 species of animals, polygamous and monogamous. For this 450 mln let’s say it’s that way in one of the fronts, and then by the car – to the front of it.
It turned out that as many as 24 genes were responsible for monogamous behavior. These genes have been found in mammals, fish, and amphibians.
However, it is preceded by the words “monogamous”. However, monogamy remains a multifactorial concept.
That is, an emotional explosive extrovert with increased testosterone is more likely to be polygamous, and these are just a few features inherent in nature that affect relationships. Therefore, it remains a mystery for the time being, which complex of genes can be unambiguously considered signs of an open or hidden polygamous member of society.
Statistics of psychologists: how is the life of a polygamous couple
Alas, not everything is so rosy in polygamous relationships. This is the classic version for the most part.
In need of new sensations. This is not always associated with love – he may have feelings for a permanent partner. Usually, these needs are not strong enough to be acknowledged, or the person withdraws from the relationship and completely abandons close relationships with anyone in favor of frequent partner changes.
Much less often, not wanting to part, the partner speaks with a loved one. Sometimes a Couple Enters into a new informal contract and decides to Make the relationship open, where everyone can spend the night with whomever He wants. No such is man’s upbringing and selfish nature that sooner or later one experiences jealousy. Be careful with the subject, when it’s by, it’s outside of the heart, and outside of the house.
Surprisingly, after such a relationship, the one who was against polygamy is usually no longer ready to build monogamous relationships, “addicted” to easy and quick emotions.
One way or another, any of your actions are an attempt to fill yourself from the inside, to evoke emotions. Remember: no one has the right to limit you in being happy and being with yourself. The main thing in trying to find a new high is that you have not lost your own personality.