Platonic love is the pinnacle of the relationship between a man and a woman. The concept itself came from the ancient Greek philosopher Plato. He was the first to single out different directions in love. According to him, the intimacy between a man and a woman can be spiritual and physical. Everything is clear with the body: physical intimacy, hugs, kisses. With Platonic it is somewhat more difficult.
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Intimacy is too voluminous and multifaceted. It can mix the concepts of friendship, the concepts of mentorship and kinship. It is very easy to get confused in these concepts and mistake one for the other. But you can still figure it out: it’s enough to think over your feelings for another and evaluate them from different angles.
The physical component of love
Physical love is understood by everyone. This is a manifestation of one’s attitude to a person, through expression through touch. It’s hugs, kisses, sex. Intimate relationships should be distinguished from love. A drunken “fuck” in the toilet cubicle of the club has nothing to do with love. These are banal carnal pleasures, the animal instinct of a drunken body, turning off the brakes and morality. This thing for most is not even a reason to get acquainted. Of course, there is no question of any love here.
Making love to loving people has a completely different meaning. Here is the degree of higher trust, the desire to prolong the family, the expression of one’s attitude towards the partner. Perhaps the physical manifestation of love can be called the only tangible way. And for most people, this is true. It is pointless to argue with this, because it is so.
What is carnal love read in our article.
The concept and causes of platonic love
Platonic love does not arise out of the blue. She always has prerequisites, but she can easily be confused with such a thing as friendship. Nevertheless, there is still a difference. What are the directions and causes of the emergence of platonic love?
Speaking of platonic love, in general, we can say that this is the union of souls as such. The carnal becomes something unacceptable, unnecessary, second-rate. How to distinguish friendship from platonic love? Friendship is easy. It does not change a person’s life, does not break fate, does not leave with nothing. Friendship can do a lot, but personal space always comes first. Friendship does not prevent you from having your own family and does not force you to change your usual way of life. She does not shoot surprises and is absolutely not demanding. Simply put, friendship does not force you to break at 3 in the morning and rush to the other end of the city to console a suffering friend.
Platonic love works exactly the opposite. A person in her bonds is capable of incredible deeds. This is expressed both in hyper-custody, and in family asceticism, and in the idolization of a partner, and in an obsessive desire to be constantly near, in mute adoration and worship. Sometimes platonic love takes on hypertrophied outlines and simply gets in the way. But this only happens when there is no response.
Over time, as people approach or reach old age, platonic love blossoms wildly. This is exactly the time that modern topics and posts in social networks describe with such tenderness. This is the feeling that is experienced no matter what and in spite of everything. Incredibly vividly, it is shown in the movie “Titanic”, a scene in which an elderly husband and wife are embracing and preparing to die. There can be nothing carnal between them, but their love is stronger than death. Is it to be experienced? It is given… Not to everyone and not to everyone, but it is given.
Let’s talk about a simple and understandable definition of the word “love” in our special article further down the link.
Can a man and a woman be friends? This question torments almost all people. It does not arise in childhood or adolescence, it is not asked during student days, it is not tried to be solved in old age. Friendship eats the brain only for adults, physically mature and active people. And for the most part, they don’t believe in it, because the specter of sex is added. It is possible that it is.
And people are right about something. But just look at the huge mass of examples where friendship really took place and never mixed up with carnal desires. Moreover, the wisdom of such relationships was to deny the intimate side in general. And here there is a pitfall on which many friendly relations are broken. The boundary of friendship and platonic love is too unsteady, which leads to illogical demands.
Love in one gate
Many people know the feeling of unrequited love. It breaks, distorts and does not allow to lead a normal life. Unrequited love is one of the manifestations of platonic love. It has a rather negative connotation, because it is quiet and silent to love, just like that, without psychological abysses, not many are capable of.
This relationship falls under the definition of platonic love only because it excludes the possibility of carnal manifestation. Dealing with this feeling is extremely difficult, but still possible if you clearly distinguish between what is happening. You can carry love in your heart for a certain person after years, but at the same time have a family or other relationships.
But this rarely happens. As a rule, unrequited love is short-lived and passes as soon as the possibility of replacement appears. Often unrequited love happens in adolescence, and ends with the beginning of a new, full-fledged relationship. But, nevertheless, many carry the tender memory of their first love to the very deepest years.
“Love you when you’re away”
This is a well-known form of love for people who are forced to live at a distance from each other. There are many reasons for this: work, study and even imprisonment, and someone gives himself to such love for a long time, having a strong and real relationship. People take this step because they are unable to resist overwhelming emotions, and someone is simply waiting for the situation to change and the partner to become reachable and tangible.
Someone is lucky, and his platonic love takes on other forms and goes to a new level, someone just cools down, and someone, having reached for the object, is disappointed. In any case, one cannot count on the durability of such relationships, because both time and distance play an important role in relationships.
Religion and traditions
This is a stumbling block for believers. This also includes the category of people who live in a narrow society, that is, in a community, and are subject to constant restrictions according to the rules.
Such couples live in a state of platonic love only until marriage is concluded. Of course, it is not necessary to be a true believer or live with the Old Believers, it is enough just to follow personal beliefs and deny intimate relationships before they are legalized. But in any case, such relationships have an end, with the onset of resolving events.
Sometimes platonic love arises as a denial of carnal relations, in general. Church ministers are subject to this. Sympathy can arise among monks, and among priests, and among other representatives of various cults. In this case, ordinary feelings are replaced by higher ones. The carnal component is denied as sinfulness.
A striking indicator of the emergence and development of platonic love is the state of health. The sensational film “A meter apart” most fully reveals this situation. It shows the relationship of two young people suffering from the rare genetic disease cystic fibrosis. The disease is fatal, not allowing any physical contact. But young people fell in love with each other and develop their relationship.
Yes, people cannot always express their feelings through caresses, but they can always give each other joy at arm’s length. Emotions in this case are experienced most powerfully, the colorfulness of feelings goes off scale. Only those who are forced to live in such a regime can understand such people.
Old age and old age
This is the time when platonic love takes its true shape. Due to age, physical contact is not possible. But spiritual intimacy does not disappear, but even intensifies, because at this age the transience of time and the value of every moment are known. Reaching this period, people begin to feel gratitude for the long years of living together, comprehend the whole essence and meaning. “Wisdom comes with age”, and the power of love is a permanent companion of wisdom.
Day after day, year after year
The duration of platonic love depends on the desire of the people themselves. Someone is so immersed in this addiction that they are able to live in this state all their lives. Such monogamy, as a rule, does not lead to anything good. Indeed, in this case, a person is threatened with loneliness in all its glory. No child, no kitten … But for what?
For the sake of a ghostly object of adoration who will never be around? And what’s the point in that? Although … everything has a meaning, and everyone has their own principles. And about what is the meaning of a relationship, you can read further in our article!
For the most part, platonic love caused by friendship or distance, that is, not the most significant reasons, ends as soon as the situation comes to naught: either the object is replaced by a more tangible one, or friendship develops into something more. After all, it is not for nothing that they say that friendship between a man and a woman is possible provided that they are either former or future lovers. As a matter of fact, it is.
A spark will ignite a flame
Platonic love can be maintained and cultivated. To do this, it is enough to follow a few rules:
They should not be afraid. After all, everyone experiences sexual attraction. And if suddenly it has come, then it is not a fault and not a vice. It’s enough just to discuss the situation. And if one of the partners does not agree to continue the relationship in a sexual direction, then it would be better to stop the relationship at this stage than to break each other or live in conflict and stress. In any case, as soon as there is a desire for something more, there is nothing to save. In this case, it is easier to find a true partner, and transfer the object of Platonism to the friend zone until the relationship is completely ruined.
Relationship boundaries are best established before a partner can begin to experience attraction. Many do not agree to be in the friend zone, but in this case, again, it is better to discuss everything and, in case of disagreement, end the friendship. If both are satisfied with the conditions, then one can only rejoice at finding a real rear, an assistant and a friend with a capital letter.
- “You can’t put a scarf on every mouth”
We must learn not to pay attention to other people’s opinions. But only if this is not the opinion of the spouse. Yes, their demand is much more important than some kind of Platonism. All the rest can go boldly through the forest with their “5 kopecks”, they were not given the right to speak. And do not be afraid of whispers behind your back, let them wash the bones: there will be no arthrosis.
The Benefits of Platonic Love
No matter how strange and uncomfortable this feeling may seem, it has undeniable advantages.
- Firstly, it allows you to get to know the representatives of the other sex better. The point is that close relationships are built on trust. A lot of situations are discussed, you can see the attitude to something, you can see how a person gets out of some situations. All this allows you to competently build your own, personal relationships with another partner.
- Secondly, communication takes place on a relaxed note. After all, you don’t need to break yourself, extort and invent. There is no need to play any role. Common interests bring people together.
- Thirdly, there is no ground for jealousy and doubt. Even in friendship between a man and a woman, one can be madly jealous, but there is no point in platonics. The idea of another person’s freedom is the leitmotif of this relationship.
- Fourth, there is always a personal psychologist at hand. After all, no one can give clear explanations or a vision of the situation from the opposite side of the opposite sex. In addition, a person does not have any benefit, because he is just a faithful and reliable friend.
- Fifthly, platonic love can teach selflessness, fidelity. Learn to appreciate every moment and the transience of time. Understand the essence of emotions from the depths of human consciousness. The ability to tightly control not only emotions, but also actions aimed at another appears.
PLATONIC LOVE BOY AND GIRL ♥ Shtukensia + Tangar