What is the difference between passion and love? Why the desire to be close to a person every minute is not love? And isn’t it strange that the desire to experiment in bed is not necessarily a sign of passion? How are these two categories generally related, and what are their differences? How do love and passion depicted in movies distort the perception of reality, spoil real relationships? The difference between these feelings, as well as the top 5 movie stereotypes, are further in the article.
What is the difference between passion and love?
These two feelings (and these are feelings, not emotions, given their duration, depth) are not always experienced in parallel. It usually starts with passion. It serves as a cause of interest, a catalyst for physical intimacy. Then love is formed, but at the beginning of the relationship, it does not cancel passionate experiences. But this is done by addiction, routine, bored life. Only the joint work of partners can return the fading sharpness of emotions, and without negative symptoms, blindness, which are at the very beginning.
It turns out that the bond “love-passion” is quite real. However, the presence of one feeling does not necessarily imply the simultaneous experience of the second. Everything is explained by the difference between them. What are the differences?
What is the difference between passion and love?
1. Gluttony-calmness.
If passion were one of the seven deadly sins, it would personify… No, not lust, but greed (stinginess, love of money, self-interest – depending on the doctrine). Lust is too indiscriminate, while passion-feeling more often makes a specific person its object. But there is enough greed in this emotional outburst. The more a passionate person receives, the more he feels the constant lack of impressions during separation. Outwardly, he looks more active than usual, but also more nervous.
Love is stable. She is responsible for calmness, confidence, “satiety”. She does not pursue quantity, a variety of emotions, but prefers quality, reliability. A loving person looks peaceful, but there is no passivity or lack of will in him.
2. Emotions-actions.
Passion is a fountain of various vivid emotions. They are strong, sharp, often unpredictable, and difficult to control. It is these experiences that push to some crazy deeds. That is, actions are the result of passion.
And love = action. Of course, there are also inner impressions from her, but without action they are too short-lived or turn out to be the same passion. Love relationships are not “felt”, they are built with their own hands. Actions in this case are not reckless or grand gestures, but practical concern for the well-being of a loved one or loved one. Even the constant pronunciation of the phrase “I love you” is already a sign of a strong feeling, if it does not run counter to actions.
3. Egoism-altruism.
Passion knows the word “give”, love knows the word “take”. Attempts to “get enough” of a person are very selfish, since their own interests and desires are put in the first place. The feeling of love necessarily takes into account the views of another person, takes care of her well-being.
Passion puts “I”, “me”, “mine” in the center. Sometimes “we” accidentally gets here, but this is a distorted category if one partner speaks about it, and the second is only silent. This indicates the imposition of views – another sign of selfishness. What then is love about? She gradually teaches how to live in such a way that “we” and two different “I” coexist peacefully, without infringing on each other. At the same time, she is not characterized by sacrifice, since the latter is a sign of dependence or poor self-esteem.
What is the difference between passion and love?
4. Barter-unselfishness.
If partners in a passionate relationship give something, then only on the condition of return. More often the objects of such barter are incommensurable things. For example:
- the guy refuses a career in another city in order to live with the girl he likes;
- a woman deprives herself of communication with her friends, just to please her husband.
In the first case, a man denies himself professional growth, financial gain, in order to get feelings. In the second, the wife loses an important aspect of her life for the sake of the “love” of the faithful. And what happens if both couples suddenly quarrel or the “victims” do not receive enough emotions in return? Mutual accusations will begin, doubts about the act, attempts to cancel their decision. In addition, even without quarrels, remorse will still come with time due to unfulfillment, emptiness inside.
In love, such decisions are irreversible. If a loving person decides to take such a step, it means that he thought it over, realized that for him “losses” are insignificant. He will not change his mind even after an argument. This is related to the next point.
5. Addiction-mindfulness.
Passion is impulsive, sudden, all-consuming and at the same time irrational. Idealization of a partner, uncontrollable, sometimes dangerous impulses, inexplicable attraction – these are evidences of “passionate blindness”. It has no logic, no awareness. But they are in love. No wonder psychologists say that only a mentally mature person can love. She chooses a partner responsibly, and then makes meaningful choices when creating relationships, as well as in working on them.
A loving person will be sympathetic to a temporary forced separation. For just a lover, this is a tragedy, because he, albeit not for long, but still loses his “generator of emotions”, remains without constant emotional nourishment.
6. Physiological-social.
Passion is hormones. A mixture of serotonin, dopamine, adrenaline, norepinephrine seethes in the body. Hormonal changes keep the body in a constant pleasant, but still exhausting tension. Because of this, sleep is disturbed, sexual desire increases at the beginning, taste habits change. The goal of passionate feeling is to get as close as possible physically to your object.
Love is joint plans, a common future, a sober look at a partner as a person. This feeling gradually changes social roles. For example, at first a guy sees his chosen one simply as a girl, then as a bride, then as a wife, and later as the mother of his children.
What is the difference between passion and love?
7. Limited-development.
Passion has a ceiling – the maximum intensity of emotions next to the object of adoration. Her highest bar is sex, the accompaniment of pleasure. If this goal is achieved, the “cooling down” stage begins. This explains why so many couples suddenly start to lose interest in each other after the first night, although before that their feelings seemed strong.
Love has no limit. You can spend your whole life working on trust, intimacy, each time surprised by their infinity. However, this development does not occur on its own, but only with hard work, because love is an action (see p. “Emotions-Acts”). So, if passionate partners are not satisfied with sex, they disperse, not forgetting to shift all responsibility, blame on each other. A loving couple decides to seek compromises, solve a problem – experiment or even go to a sexologist.
Films about love and passion: top 5 stereotypes.
The percentage of incomplete families in society is constantly growing. This affects the style of raising children who grow up without the example of friendly loving parents. What can we say about dysfunctional families? The new generation has almost nowhere to draw a model of a strong long-term marriage. And few people at the same time try to find answers in professional literature or at trainings in psychology.
The majority rather unconsciously absorbs the settings that modern cinema provides. And he focuses not on morality, healthy relationships, but on the demand of the mass audience, who appreciates the drama. Due to lack of experience, unwillingness to analyze the information received, illusory stereotypes are formed.
1. Love comes immediately.
At a glance, words, touch. The characters fall in love after a few weeks or even days. However, in life, it takes much longer to form such a deep feeling. In order for love to be born, you first have to get to know the person, go through the early stages of sympathy, the same passion, the first attachment. It does not arise only on intuitive or emotional grounds. A love relationship is a conscious choice that does not tolerate haste.
2. Passion lasts for years.
Film denouement. The lovers overcame all obstacles, then the story is transferred ten years ahead – and now they are already married, with three children, a dog, and even with their own housing without a mortgage. Happy, smiling and still eager to retire, when all three children and the dog at the same time, by a miraculous coincidence, get somewhere to attach for a couple of days. Easy, simple, passionate.
In reality, everyday problems, burnout, even malaise lead to crises. And in order for the picture to be as it is described above, you will have to try very hard. Of course, there will be many positive moments, but they are unlikely to arise magically. It is important to understand this so that later you do not feel disappointed or want to give up everything.
What is the difference between passion and love?
3. Together 24/7 is great.
The desire to spend all the time together is a passion or an attempt to fill yourself with emotions that another person creates. And it certainly isn’t love. Rather, it’s about dependence, inability to entertain yourself, selfishness in the style of “I need to close my emotional hole here and now.” If over time this feeling does not decrease, and important activities like work or meetings with friends are sacrificed for the sake of this “24/7”, this is a sign of a serious psychological problem.
4. Special effects of passion.
In films, the main characters often fall in love after going through obstacles together. Through parental bans, natural disasters, zombie uprising and genocide at the same time. Obviously, in the television version, these barriers are very exaggerated or appear non-stop.
In reality, such a continuous exaggerated streak of failures is rare. And if it does happen, there is a high probability that the couple will converge only because of hormonal-emotional ups and downs. When everything gets better, sensual outbursts will disappear, and partners will quickly lose interest in each other.
5. Love and pain.
It is beneficial for screenwriters and directors to create victims on the screens. And then – a half-hour film demonstration, how unfair, painful sometimes love turns out to be.
- The abandoned naive girl is from the province, which will be 100% doused by a passing car.
- The guy whom the bride cheated on is sure to be on the wedding day, always with a witness or best friend.
- A friend who helps a friend build a relationship with another guy, although he himself is secretly in love with her.
Love itself is a labor that brings real happiness. It is not she who provokes pain at all, but broken illusions, a wounded ego, fear of the unknown. Due to the fact that she is so often associated with pain, this parallel is considered normal, and abusive relationships develop under the guise of romantic melodrama. But there are no love experiences.
When love and passion go hand in hand, building a relationship doesn’t seem like such a big deal. However, as soon as one of them disappears or does not arise at all, problems turn into a heavy burden. To prevent such difficulties, to avoid a break where everything could be saved, it is important to understand the difference between these feelings. And to consolidate the effect, it is desirable to immediately realize that relationships in films and real life are far from always the same thing.
