What kind of person should be in a relationship and on what principles to build them? When you start a relationship, you always want to understand how right they are. Are you doing everything right? Do you plan on this in your mode? And this concerns not only the relationship between a man and a woman but also friendship, child-parent, and working fiance.
How to understand what is right and what is not?
In psychology, the concept of “norm”, as such, does not exist. It is impossible to determine what is right and what is wrong. Especially when it comes to relationships.
Because what is good for one person, another will be perceived as something unacceptable. And it is impossible to know which of them is right.
Because the statement of each will be true, but only about his own life. Therefore, when it comes to relationships, the right thing is what suits both partners.
That is, in a relationship, both feel safe, experience psychological comfort and want to continue communication because it brings them happiness. This does not affect the number of quarrels, the level of passion, or the presence of common interests. A couple may have a volcanic type of relationship, but if it suits both, such a relationship will be right for them. They don’t lose trust in each other.
Also, for the first time, you have one conflict – this is what you do, for the most part.
General principles of healthy relationships
But even though each person determines for himself how certain relationships suit him and are considered acceptable and correct, from the point of view of psychology, several fundamental principles of healthy relationships can be distinguished:
- mutual respect – is expressed in the fact that people, entering into relationships, a priori recognize each other’s rights to individuality, free will, feelings, and the right to choose. They do not degrade the dignity of another person and do not put themselves above;
- respect for personal boundaries – a person should not unilaterally violate the psychological distance of another. Everyone has their own space. Someone is fine when they look through his correspondence, someone is not. The couple must mark their boundaries in advance;
- interest – both partners must want to maintain and continue the relationship. This is done in a way that compromises are made and there are several partners. No, it is in other parts of the world that it is one of those people;
- recognition of the right to freedom of another person – even if you are a couple, this does not mean that one can dictate to another how to live, with whom to communicate, what to do, how to dress, how much to weigh, and so on;
- sincerity is the ability, to be honest with each other. This not only means not to lie. This means not being afraid to express your point of view, your thoughts, to talk about feelings, even if they are negative and relate to this person;
12 signs of a healthy relationship
- confidence in each other – only by testing it, people will not be afraid to be sincere. They feel that the person will support them, try to understand, that is, will be on their side. This is a guarantee of a sense of security of communication;
- EMOTIONAL CONTACT – people in close communication should experience EMOtions about each other. They are not always positive. It can be anger, resentment, or sadness, but, of course, there should be more joy, happiness, and interest. It’s worse when you don’t feel anything for that person.
Don’t give up on this one of those who own it. He can formulate completely different positions, the main thing is that they are determined personally by him.
By the way, these principles of interaction apply not only to love relationships. Friendly, parent-child, mentor relationships, or communication with colleagues – are suitable for all relationships if the person is close to you and matters.
Conceived, it is possible in the case of the magazine, and what is happening in the budget of the emotional contact, is in the world. But respect, observance of boundaries, and recognition of the right to freedom remain relevant.
How to reach a mutual understanding?
It is important to remember that relationships do not always build “by themselves”. Everyone is responsible for their happiness and satisfaction with any interaction.
And when one of the partners is not satisfied with something in communication, this does not mean that you need to stop any contact. It just means that you need to make an effort and change it.
What it takes to build a healthy relationship:
- be aware of what you want – you should have a clear understanding of how you see a happy relationship and know your needs and desires. Understand what is acceptable to you and what is not. If you don’t know what you want, you can’t get it;
- be able to convey your position to another person – do not ignore what does not suit you, do not try to endure. At the same time, do not “attack” your partner with accusations or criticism, do not throw out your irritation. It is important to be able to communicate your needs to your partner;
- knowing how not to hide your emotions does not mean that if you are angry, you need to shout. This means that if you are angry, you should not be afraid to say: “the way you did makes me angry.” That is, to be able to verbalize their EMOtions. The partner cannot guess about them himself;
- to be able not only to listen to another person but also to understand what he is trying to convey to you. After all, if you want to be heard and understood, you need to be able to listen and understand yourself. Always put yourself in the place of another person and try to understand his emotions and experiences;
- learn how to resolve conflicts, because they are not a problem, this is an opportunity to understand each other better and make each other better. To solve them, it is necessary to find a compromise. These are not mere concessions. This is a solution that will satisfy all parties to the conflict;
- conflicts will not be resolved if you ignore the problem, try to turn a blind eye to it, move away from the solution, take offense, hush up your offense. No need to worry about it. It’s normal when people try to negotiate.
It is important to remember that if people love, want to take care of each other, and want to keep the relationship, they will find ways to do this. The main thing is to be motivated.
Therefore, almost any conflict can be resolved. On the other hand, it is not necessary to solve the problem. And thanks to the very adversity that the couple copes with together, their relationship is strengthened.
Development always goes through a crisis. But if only one of the partners is trying and working on the relationship, making concessions, and trying to find a compromise, this is a good reason to think about where are you going? And is this the person with whom you will find happiness?
Because of the problems and the subject in the field. They teach you a lot, with their help you acquire the necessary communication skills, you get to know yourself better. The main thing in the right relationship is reciprocity and the willingness to fight for them.