What needs to be done to maintain passion in a relationship? Most relationships follow a well-trodden path. The behavior model comes down to the same scenario. At first, when people start dating, they are madly in love, they want to spend hours in each other’s company. But this will not always be the case. According to scientific data, the period of complete sighing and ardor lasts for six months to a year.
Then the amount of sex decreases and you become an “old married couple.” While for some people this seems quite normal and inevitable, others do not want to put up with the routine, and are looking for ways to find this problem.
What needs to be done to maintain passion in a relationship?
Fortunately, the process of the extinction of passion is reversible, and it is possible, and even necessary, to bring it back to life! The authors of The Book of Love, Laughter and Romance, Barbara and Michael Jonas, collected hundreds of tips from many happy couples in their book, which will help restore the former fire and passion. But first you need to plunge into the peculiarities of hormone production, which greatly affects the sexual sphere of human life.
There is such a neurotransmitter – dopamine, which is directly related to emotions. When people fall in love, the level of this hormone increases several times. It makes the person feel energized, excited, and possessed. All the hallmarks of falling in love come from a concentration of dopamine. Together with this hormone, testosterone is also produced, which is responsible for stimulating libido. And increased libido, as you know, is a hallmark of crazy love.
Unfortunately, this joy does not last long. Several studies involving both newly-married couples and those who have been married for forty years show that, on average, elevated levels of dopamine last in the body for an average of about seven months, and then decrease, which indicates the end of a passionate and hot period.
But do not be upset. When this exciting period ends, it is replaced by a period of attachment. This is also due to hormonal changes – the concentration of oxytocin and vasopressin increases, which causes a feeling of security, trust and contentment with a partner in the long term.
Principle of novelty
And this is great news! There is another, no less pleasant news – sexual passion can be restored by raising the level of dopamine in the body. How? Extremely simple. All that is needed is to focus on each other, add novelty to the relationship, do something new, previously unusual for you.
Dating is the key to passion and resurrecting the flame between partners. You must set a date on which this date will take place. In this case, one person takes responsibility in terms of organizing the event, and the other decides exactly when to meet and what to wear.
Each of these dates should include three elements: togetherness, fun and sex. This activity is exciting, but at the same time eerily simple. After it, you will feel how your interest in intimacy with a partner increases – this is all the work of dopamine.
Display the romance of bygone days
These dates recreate the old days when you just started dating and were intently focused only on each other. These meetings speak without words about the love of a person, his affection. This invariably increases the level of happiness and enthusiasm. Even the very planning of a date causes the anticipation of something beautiful, fun and passionate. Again, this is the tricks of dopamine.
Plan when you have this date. Do them at least twice a month, scheduling them one at a time, so that each partner feels like they are taking a direct part in the renewal of the old relationship. Planning is critical. When you first start dating someone, you are focused on each other. But as dopamine decreases, this concentration also disappears. Planning promotes the renewal of this concentration on each other.
It is equally important for everyone to take responsibility alternately. People alternately invest creative energy into relationships, focusing primarily on the pleasure of a partner. By his actions, a person shows how dear a partner is to him. Increased attention to each other and mutual fun breathe life into your everyday life and turn it into an exciting journey.
Surprises are a common cure for boredom and predictability. Experts strongly recommend that you always find time for each other, presenting unexpected surprises. It doesn’t have to be something material. Enough new impressions. Doctors cannot explain the role of dopamine in all this, but the novelty increases its level, which leads to increased interest in each other. Maybe that’s why when people fall in love, they often say: “There is an inexplicable chemistry between us.”