What to do if a man does not love a woman – advice from a psychologist? Each person is looking for his happiness and needs intimacy, tenderness, and love. “We choose, we are chosen.” What to do when you are not reciprocated? Do you want to do it, do you want to “do it?”
Where does unrequited love come from?
The feeling of sympathy does not always arise and depends on the hormonal level, previous experience, significant adults that the man had in his life, personal preferences, and desires, in the end, the moment when the first meeting took place.
When you fall in love, it is important first of all to figure out whether it is mutual. There are several signs that feelings are unrequited:
- you are always the initiator of communication;
- a man periodically does not answer calls, does not call back;
- a man often has things to do that are more important than communicating with you;
- on no one wants to see it with the toboggan;
- he no longer talks about himself;
- he does not take concrete steps to start a relationship.
All this suggests that you love a man more than he loves you. Are you interested? Or is he just being polite?
Sometimes life goes like this. But if you notice that such a situation is not at all new for you, that you are constantly faced with the fact that men do not reciprocate you, then you need to figure out if they are the case.
Perhaps the reason is you, and there are two options:
- either you fall in love too quickly – you just drank coffee, he has not yet remembered your name, and you have already thought of it;
- or you are attracted precisely by those who do not love you and will never reciprocate.
Usually, there are problems in childhood behind this. If the child was not loved by the parents, he experienced the trauma of rejection, he had a cold distant mom and dad, and their love and attention had to be sought, you could form a stable pattern of behavior.
And even though you have already grown up, this continues to influence your choice, how you build relationships and how you behave during communication.
What to do if he doesn’t love you?
Even if a man does not reciprocate, it may seem to you that this is only a matter of time. That he needs help to “open his eyes” to how you fit together.
For the sake of this, girls begin to actively follow their lovers on social networks, monitor their relationships, and become friends with their girls. They also try to do what a man likes: read the same books, listen to the same music, go to the same bar or go to the gym.
The similarity of interests helps people find a common language. A person will quickly like someone similar in some way. As a rule, this is how friendships begin.
But will it cause love? After all, this feeling has another component – physical attraction, no one has yet canceled hormones.
And if there is no attraction, then it is unlikely to appear, even if you put on the most revealing outfit. And it doesn’t matter if the girl is beautiful or not, it’s just a reaction of the body.
Attempts to attract attention to yourself, to converge on common activities and interests will help if a man just hasn’t noticed you yet.
But if you already know each other, communicated, and he did not make any attempts to get closer, start dating, then talking about books will not help in this, but you can take the “honorary” place of a friend.
It happens that a man likes a woman, but he is not sure that this is mutual, and her “subtle hints” are so “subtle” that they only convince the man of his opinion. In such cases, it is better to honestly admit that you like him and you would like to meet more often.
There are several reasons why a man does not reciprocate your feelings:
- he does not know about your existence;
- he is not sure of himself and is afraid of rejection;
- he is sure that you do not perceive him as a possible partner;
- he already has a lover;
- he doesn’t have any feelings for you.
If you excluded the first 4 points, that is, the man has no one, you know him, you conveyed your attitude to your lover, confessed your feelings, then only one thing remains – he does not love you. No eto ne konez sveta.
How to deal with unrequited love?
Falling in love is a wonderful feeling that has a beneficial effect on your condition, mood, and even appearance. And even if it’s not mutual, it can be pleasurable, like feelings for a fictional character, an actor you’ve never met.
But if falling in love brings you suffering, expectation, and hope for a relationship, if your thoughts are concentrated on another person, you are waiting for a man to call, trying to attract attention to yourself, this will not bring anything good.
As long as you continue to love a man who does not reciprocate you, you put your life on “pause” all thoughts are absorbed by this person, and you may not notice how much good is happening to you in reality.
There are several steps to help you deal with unrequited love:
- accept reality as it is – accepts the fact that the feelings are not mutual. It’s not a disaster, it’s just life. It happens and you can’t make a person love you;
- give up hope, because it is part of a great self-deception. While you convince yourself that everything will change, that he is “just shy”, that he needs to get to know you better and then he will fall in love, you are increasingly denying reality;
- sweep away the focus of attention – now it is directed to a man, but you need to redirect the focus to yourself, your emotions and experiences, taking care of your health, appearance, psychological comfort;
- “Take off the crown from the prince” – while you are not together, a man may seem like an ideal, and your future relationship is a fairy tale. And while you feed this illusion with your fantasies, on only grows stronger;
- find 10 shortcomings – to remove the “rose-colored glasses” look at the man objectively, and think about the shortcomings of the man. If the first thought that he does not have them is a sign that you do not see a real person. everyone has flaws;
- Keep your distance – Get rid of all things that remind you of him, if possible avoid places where you can accidentally collide;
- communicate more with people – meet friends and girlfriends, relatives, make new acquaintances. Talk to a person who can understand you and share your emotions with you;
- expand your horizons – if you feel that life has become “small” and revolves around only one man, you need to return colors, events, and positive emotions to it. Take up hobbies that you have abandoned, go in for sports, read books;
- use the NLP technique “Drying”, the video version of which is on YouTube.
Think about what reason could cause you to have such strong feelings for a person who is indifferent to you. Maybe he is not such a “handsome prince”, maybe it’s not about him at all, but about you?
Sometimes people endow others with qualities that they do not have. It seems to them that they know this person, but in fact, he is only part of a fictional image. Therefore, first of all, you need to understand yourself and your feelings.