What to do if the guy does not text first


Why did he suddenly stop texting? Thought the message didn’t deserve a reply, or was he avoiding you? Do you need to write to him again? Or should you move on? What does it mean when a guy doesn’t answer you? Probably familiar thoughts. After all, you are not the only one asking these questions.

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We’ve learned to understand that men are from Mars, but sometimes they act like they’re from another universe altogether.

It seems that everything is simple: when a guy cannot stop texting, this is his pursuit, because he is a hunter and is interested in you. When he stops texting you, it means that he has finished this very chase.

What does this mean for a girl? Well, first of all, when a guy stops texting you, it doesn’t always mean he’s done with you and you won’t hear from him again. But how to act in such a situation? Here’s what to do when he stops texting you.

Let go of the reins

Guys can be hot and cold just like girls can be hot and cold. Disappointment, yes. Here’s what’s important: how you respond to his behavior will either push him away or make him infatuated. Some will disagree, but not all guys really enjoy being chased. They like to do the chase themselves. If you harass him by bombarding him with the right messages, he will most likely find it repulsive to the point that he definitely won’t text you again. We all like to feel wanted, but being overly obsessive can only turn us off.

It’s hard, but if he stopped talking, it’s best to leave it as it is and see what happens next. The game of “Waiting” requires patience, but it puts you in a better position than a flood of messages a la “are you all right?”. Don’t look at your phone 24/7. If he wants to call you back, he will. Just give it some space and see what happens next. The guy needs to figure out for himself that he misses you, or he needs to wonder what the hell you’re up to instead of him. Either way will make him come back to you.

Let it look directly

How long should you wait before writing to him? Let’s put it this way: you don’t have to wait forever to contact him. Waiting 3-4 days seems like a decent amount of time before posting again if you think you have something to say.

Write to him, but let it look casual. Share your favorite picture or post with him. Don’t hint that he’s gone. Don’t send him a monologue explaining how much you missed him, and don’t reprimand him for not responding to your messages. Show that you are not upset, but that you care if he is still around. But be careful. There is a fine line between being direct and making him feel like you are talking because you have no one else to talk to.

If he doesn’t have the tact to answer you, it’s a good idea to just move on. He is clearly not worth your energy.

Call him

It’s worth a try. The reason for his absence may be that he does not understand what is happening between you at all, or maybe for some reason he got the impression that you have lost interest. Calling him is the best way to sort out any problems, doubts or misunderstandings. This is a great way to get some clarity. If he is interested in your communication, he will call you back if he is busy. What if he doesn’t answer? Go get some wine (and Bridget Jones’s Diary)!

Why doesn’t he answer?

A hint why he is not responding to your messages may be in your recent correspondence. Look in which direction they were moving. For example, you might not notice right away, and he might have been pulling away for the last couple of weeks. Perhaps his answers were getting shorter or less funny, but you were too immersed in him to notice. Perhaps you just missed (or chose to ignore) the signs that he’s not ready for a relationship.

Maybe his disappearance is not as sudden and unexpected as you first thought. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding. If you find a problem, you can talk about it to make sure you’re both looking in the same direction.

Live your life

There are a lot of guys who are worth your attention and there are guys who are not. Don’t wonder “what if” or what you did wrong, don’t get hung up on what it means when a guy doesn’t answer you. There are many more things and people in your life than this young man. Meet your friends and enjoy life. You are much more likely to find someone new this way than to speculate about what might have been.

If he’s capable of disappearing like that without warning, he’s just not worth your thoughts about him.

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