What to do if the guy’s parents are against a relationship with me? Of course, I want parents to support everyone, and accept the choice of their own or their daughter.
It seems that in this case there are only two options – either to obey and wait for the blessings of the parents, hoping that they will someday change their minds, or to go against them and do it their own way. But there is a third, most productive, way out of the situation.
Why parents are against marriage and how to fix it?
Usually, there are several motives behind the fact that the guy’s parents do not support the idea of getting marrying to girlfriend.
- Parents don’t like the girl
This is one of the most frequently used arguments. someone finds specific shortcomings in her, someone simply believes that she is “not a couple” for their son.
Then, before insisting on a wedding, it is better to try to establish relations with the groom’s parents. To do this, you need to find out what exactly does not suit them and show yourself from the best side.
For example, the mother-in-law believes that the future daughter-in-law is too selfish and selfish. You can change her mind if you show that you are ready to help, show concern for loved ones.
If they think you’re only getting married for the money, it’s worth sharing with them your plans for
When you are trying to win over your mother-in-law, do not make excuses or argue with her, convincing her that she is not. Just show by your behavior that her opinion of you is not fair and give her some time to rebuild.
But it is important to remember that if the mother-in-law does not accept any arguments, then she simply does not want to face the truth and her goal is not to find the truth, but to prove her case and keep her son by her side.
In this case, your boyfriend himself must set personal boundaries and remind his mother that this is his choice and his future family, so she does not have to like you in everything.
- Parents believe that the son is not yet ready to start his own family
They say that he still doesn’t earn enough to take responsibility for his wife, that he doesn’t need to build a family, but pursue a career, study, etc.
In this case, the parents are clearly concerned about the welfare of their son. In addition, they fear that they themselves will have to provide for his family.
In this case, you need to show that you have thought through your future and made a plan: where and what you will live on, how you will combine family responsibilities with work or study, after what time you plan to have a child, etc.
Parents against marriage
Show your confidence in the financial issue, your solvency and the fact that you are already adults who are ready to take responsibility.
- Parents believe son is in too much of a hurry to get married
Their main argument is that you don’t know each other too well, you just met, etc. You need to show that you are already close enough, you know who loves what, what are your values, your plans for life, how do you feel about children, money, career, and how you like to relax.
Show your parents that you have judged the family, have learned to resolve the confff in the preparation of the pooode
Socored thick offer a compromise, for example, postpone marriage for six months to parenticles.
- Parents don’t want to pay for the wedding
You don’t have to wait for the gold in the sky, you have to have the financier waters.
The best way to declare that you will pay for everything yourself is to save money for this. This way you will show that you are really ready for family what it’s worth bt This will help you build better family boundaries.
- Parents want their son to live according to their scenario
This is a more difficult situation. It arises if the parents have already come up with a plan for the life of their son. They decide where to study, work, how old and, most importantly, whom to marry, when and how many children to have.
Often this happens with a mother-in-law who gave birth to a son for herself, who wants to realize her dreams through him and strives. In such a case, it is useless to give logical arguments, to try to change the opinion about what you have done.
In this situation, the guy needs to convey to his parents that he is an adult, independent person with his own desires for instri. And only he can make decisions about his life and be responsible for them.
- Parents don’t want to “let go” of their son
In this case, they are ready to do everything, so long as he does not start his own family. They will not even approve of an ideal daughter-in-law simply because their goal is not the happiness of their son with another woman, but their family.
This happens if the son is not separated from his parents, continues to live with an eye on them. In this case, it is not necessary to work on la borders, it is necessary to separate from the region of self-stealing and innovation.
What to do if the guy’s parents are against a relationship with me?
There is a simple algorithm of action that will help you and your boyfriend deal with this problem:
- try to improve relations with his parents – put yourself in their place, understand their feelings, find common ground, common interests, show your respect and that their opinion matters to you too;
- enter into a constructive dialogue – do not be offended by your parents, argue with them, prove something, it is important to take the position of an adult: understand what exactly they are afraid of regarding the wedding and give weighted counterarguments;
- the guy is supposed to convey his feelings to his parents – instead of arguing, he should tell them how he feels about you, how important you are to him, how much you make him happy;
- find a compromise – go towards your parents, accept the conditions that they put forward, for example, that you yourself will save up for a wedding or postpone it for a couple of months to show the seriousness of your intentions, etc .;
- stand up for your boundaries – if you realize that your parents are not going to make concessions, do not respect your choice and do not want to hear logical arguments, it is important to show that you are ready to take responsibility and make your own decision.
Conflict with parents is a bridge to good gin To, how you deal with it will show how mature you are as a person.