What to do if the husband wants to leave the family – advice from a psychologist. The loss of feelings in a loved one, his departure from a relationship can completely undermine your life – provoke the deepest depression or forever change your tactics of behavior in a male society, make you more callous, impregnable and detached.
If you want to save a relationship, avoid common mistakes that most women make and follow more practical recommendations. Perhaps a natural crisis has simply come in your relationship, which will be able to survive safely.
Why might a loved one leave?
As a rule, no one leaves a relationship just like that, without a reason. Before breaking the union, the loved one will definitely mention the reason for such behavior during the last conflict of the dispute or even a normal conversation. If so, if you want:
- “I’m tired of you”;
- “I want to live for myself”;
- “while I am young, I want to be independent”;
- “I don’t like your behavior, excessive control”;
In most cases, a man’s first attempt to get out of a relationship is a provocation (a young man can thus force you to change your habitual behavior pattern) or fear of further development of the situation.
A man may fear that your love is growing stronger. He avoids responsibility, dependence on you, stops his own feelings, convincing himself that he “will not pull” the next stage psychologically – cohabitation, marriage or pregnancy planning.
Common mistakes in your reaction
A man often knows what to expect from you. Most girls are EMOTIONAL and RANIMY. And the boy is ready for this, and even waits for such a reaction unconsciously. After all, it is she who helps him understand his significance and value in your life. Try to avoid this behavior:
- obsessive calls and sms, requests to talk and sort things out;
- manic persecution, waiting near the house, work;
- threats to ruin his belongings;
- “random” occasions to meet;
- blackmail by suicide;
- ostentatious betrayal (exposing a photo with a bouquet of flowers, in the cabin of another man’s car, etc.);
- complaints to his relatives and friends.
By doing this, you will only aggravate the situation and alienate your loved one even more. Even if he returns because of your persuasion or manipulation, happiness will not last long.
What to do if a man decides to leave?
What to do if the husband wants to leave the family?
Your reaction to the departure of a loved one will set the tone, mood, direction for the development of your future relationship. A well-chosen phrase, spoken in absolute EMO-rational calmness and as sincerely as possible, possesses foreignness.
It is important to let him know that you are aware of and respect his wishes, accept his position and two on your own. At the same time, do not try to seem too callous or rude. Possible replica options:
- yes, there were disagreements between us, if you consider it necessary to leave, I won’t interfere, maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and realize that this is the only right way out;
- I still love you and believe that relationships can be improved if you are not ready for this work – this is your right;
- thanks for all the good things that happened between us, it’s a pity that nothing happened.
Don’t let him know that you’re ready to wait another half of your life until she walks up and comes to her senses. This will greatly raise his self-esteem, and his attitude towards you will become more consumer-friendly. He will come when he needs it. When the needs of the man are satisfied, he will disappear again with pleasure.
How to proceed?
Any man wants to see a confident, feminine, EMO-rationally mature girl next to him. If this is the case and it is possible:
- accept the letter of resignation calmly – in the end, he is also a living person, and has the right to decide on his own, has the right to independently decide;
- take his departure as a chance to take time for yourself – perhaps he was against short skirts or meetings with his girlfriend Sveta, now you are free to do whatever you want (but not defiantly and not “out of spite”);
- engage in self-development and self-awareness, creativity, find yourself a hobby;
- make a schedule for every day, so as not to “hang” in space and not to return thoughts to your beloved;
- communicate more with your friends and relatives to avoid depression.
A truly man can return only when he himself made this decision, and not because someone convinced him, forced him or asked him. If the expected reaction is not expected, think about whether this relationship is so important to you. After all, loving people will never hurt each other.
How to build relationships?
A couple cannot break up just like that, overnight. This is necessarily preceded by “trial” versions of parting. So, sooner or later, your beloved will still appear on the horizon, walking up with his friends and realizing his boredom for you.
Of course, you should not, at his first call, drop all your affairs and, with tears in your eyes, throw yourself on his neck. It is difficult for a man to formulate abstruse speeches and tell his feelings. He prefers to show them in practice.
Make an appointment when it’s really convenient for you. Accept courtship from him without gloating and flat jokes. Consider that the bouquet and candy period has begun in your life again. If you want to keep the relationship, let him woo you again.
Why is a man afraid to take the first step?
The time it takes your man to think about the situation and realize that he is right depends on how long and harmonious your relationship was, how close you were. On the other hand, by different prices:
- afraid to fall under your influence again, the power that you have on him (in the good sense of the word);
- does not want to hear insults and accusations addressed to him, to test his own pride;
- not ready to puzzle over those;
- afraid of your revenge, to remain lonely and unnecessary in the end.
If it is you who is in the west, you are there. If this does not happen, during the breakup you will probably return to normal, become self-sufficient and successful, obviously worthy of a better attitude towards yourself.
In a healthy relationship, no one leaves each other. If this happened once or more, then this is another reason for both of you to think – to work on yourself and improve relations with each other in order to maintain the union.