What to do if you broke up with a girl: 6 ways of development of events? Can the stronger sex show weakness? No wonder men are considered restrained, brave, fearless and responsible. Even if a guy at some point becomes sad and ill, he tries to drown out these feelings, at least in public. There are situations in which even the most persistent begin to close in on themselves and sink into depression. What to do if you broke up with a girl? We have some recommendations that will help you stop being discouraged and look at your new life with optimism.
What to do if you broke up with a girl: 6 ways of development of events?
Many girls think that breaking up is much easier for guys. Suppose that she is, but only if the partner was not loved. In a situation where relationships break up at the initiative of a lady, men tend to experience a serious blow to self-esteem. What can we say about strong mutual feelings. In this case, even the most serious male has to endure despair, pain and sadness.
Love is not always the result of hard work, long communication and penetration into each other. More often the opposite happens. She suddenly announces her presence, saying, “I came spontaneously, and I’ll leave even more interesting.” Most breakups happen precisely for the reason that partners do not know how to work on relationships, plunging only into feelings and emotions.
Such emotional swings can drive anyone crazy. It doesn’t matter if it’s a blonde with the eyes of a naive deer, or a brutal alpha male. Lost love affects all of us in much the same way. Another question is that not everyone is able to survive a breakup and make a useful experience out of it.
The first step is to try to understand yourself. Most people allow themselves to become depressed for a long time after separation from a loved one. This is very dangerous, because it is extremely difficult to get out of the position of an offended victim. The longer you allow yourself to morally decay, the greater the chance of long-term apathy.
The next stage, which will not allow you specifically to improve your personal life in the future, is accusation and anger. Men endure a breakup with a lady of the heart a little differently than girls. If the girl herself designated it, the guy can spend a long time trying to understand what is wrong with him.
Let’s just say that both are always to blame. Even the word “guilty” does not correctly reflect the essence of the event. People sometimes fall in love with the wrong person. It is impossible to explain such unions to everyone around. It would seem that the two of you have in common. Different interests, goals, hobbies, plans for life and a look at family values. But then love and passion happen, which in no way coincide with the portrait of two people.
What to do if you broke up with a girl? The first tip should be used even when there is a chance to talk in a calm atmosphere and without excessive destructive emotions. It may not be easy to tune in to a meeting with her, but this is an extremely important aspect.
You meet on neutral territory to discuss a little, or rather, just tell your partner about your motives. It is important that the dialogue does not flow smoothly into a monologue. It is not worth expressing grievances and trying to defend one’s innocence in the conflicts of the past years. Your conversation should be built on the principle of theses. Each of the former partners can clearly and briefly indicate what exactly prevented you from building a relationship.
Why is this even needed? It’s simple – in your new relationship, skeletons are sure to come out, securely locked in the closet. If you do not understand your mistakes, in the future you will have to step on the same rake for a long time.
Even worse, if a person comes out of love with a distorted understanding of himself. It may seem to him that it is his misdeeds and peculiarities that lead to parting. It is even worse, and men have sinned this for centuries, to hate the entire female race.
A man who has experienced a serious emotional shock because of a girl can curse and humiliate other ladies all his life. He will never find harmony in love if he mentally compares the new lovely nymph with the former Natasha. The human brain will always find negative points and obvious similarities if it is given such a setting.
Let’s say you managed to talk frankly and calmly. You leave the cafe as a completely different, clean and peaceful person. There is no thought that everyone around is “like that”. There is no anger, resentment.
Who are you now?
We will give advice that is worth remembering to both men and women now. Parting with a loved one, you do not lose a part of yourself. Many tend to blame the other half for wasted time, ingratitude, wasted money, and mental devastation. The position of the victim destroys only you.
It is worth remembering the negative experience, but only in order to draw conclusions from it and not repeat mistakes in the future. In everything else – you are also filled, whole. It is important to take only positive things from any situation.
So, it is still impossible to remain the same all your life. We meet people, whether it’s a girl, or a friend, or a colleague. Each of them tells its own story, brings something new to us, shows other facets of the world. What to do if you broke up with a girl? Accept yourself with this experience and change.
Men are much harder to experience a difficult gap. The fact is that it is difficult for them to talk heart to heart even with the closest people themselves. You close yourself, shielding yourself from the world with a friendly smile. Or you begin to yearn alone, flooding your grief with an evening bottle of beer. Psychologists say that it is even useful. But there are a number of things that you must objectively understand.
If the relationship deteriorated towards its end, you definitely spent a lot of energy on sorting out relationships, conflicts and worries. The body is exhausted, it needs a short break. It is quite normal if you lie on the couch in front of the TV for a couple of days or a week. It is completely abnormal if such behavior begins to be accompanied by alcohol and drags on for a long time.
The best way to recover and get back to life is not to give yourself slack. Try to speak frankly with yourself, but do not refuse the help of relatives who understand people. This does not mean that you need to run to see a psychologist. One sincere conversation with your best friend will be enough.
Contact with people
Now you have already let your ex go free. The stage of introspection has also passed, which is most often very difficult. The time has come when you can get you out of depression yourself. It’s quite simple – become active among people.
It does not matter at all what kind of contacts they will be. Maybe you spend most of your time at work. Then start making small talk with your colleagues. This is banal advice that helped many not only get out of broken relationships, but also inspired new ideas and advanced them up the career ladder.
Feel free to talk about anything. You will benefit from new information. Let’s imagine that at lunch you discussed with a colleague his first trip to the gym. Previously, there were no thoughts of going in for sports, but then a person gave you an interesting idea. You sign up for a trial lesson, you understand that training relieves stress and tension. Obvious benefit, and after all, just one conversation at dinner.
You can communicate with people not only at work. It is quite possible to make new interesting acquaintances, including with girls, on the Web. Heard about Tinder? It is the most popular online dating app. You can just chat, or maybe you will like the beauty so much that in a week you will go with her on your first romantic date.
We continue the theme of communication with people. Let’s say right away that trying to plug a hole in the heart with the help of other ladies is not the best option. Going to cafes and the same type of meeting with those who are not close to the soul quickly get bored. There is a risk to imagine that among women it is no longer possible to find such a classy woman as the former.
If you understand that you are ready at least for friendly communication – go for it. In online applications and on dating sites, it is really possible to meet not just a girl, but an interesting interlocutor. Unfortunately, most people who use online dating are on sites for fun. But at first, you just need to be distracted.
Here you can realize how vast our world is. How many girls and guys are not in a relationship, but are engaged in themselves, development. Maybe that’s the kind of incentive you need.
If you want live communication and do not recognize the Internet with its endless correspondence, you can meet girls at parties, in shopping centers, or even better, take up some new hobby for yourself. So you get into an environment where people will definitely be passionate about the same thing as you.
Our new proposal follows smoothly from the previous one. What to do if you broke up with a girl? Take care of yourself. Now you have a huge amount of free time. Why waste it on all sorts of useless nonsense, if there are a lot of interesting things to do.
One of the guys wants to learn how to drive a car – so it’s time to enroll in a driving school. Another long ago comes the idea that you need to learn a foreign language. With this skill, you will be able to communicate freely while traveling, and maybe get a new job offer. Here, interesting acquaintances often happen.
What else can you do? Everything to which the heart lies. Whether it’s learning web design, setting up advertising on the Internet, writing texts and poems, playing sports – everything is within your control, the main thing is to set clear goals.
Travel has helped thousands of people, including men, to survive an extremely difficult breakup. Today, trips to different interesting countries are available to everyone. Even with a small budget, you can snatch a last-minute tour or visit inexpensive Asian countries.
Traveling can reveal new facets in a person. At such moments, when everything around is unfamiliar and different, the realization of the infinity of choice comes. You can do anything if you really want to and work on an idea.
By the way, many bloggers said that their first trips happened just after breaking up with their girlfriend. Initially, they planned fun trips with friends, where there would be endless bars and discos. During a couple of sunsets spent in silence by the sea or in the mountains, they understood that life goes on.
If you are a very open person, you can carry out special prevention of past relationships. Filming yourself on camera and uploading videos to the Internet – this is what a huge number of men and women do. You can show your life, talk frankly about your experiences. There will definitely be people who will be able to support and help, and will also begin to admire your features.
Don’t speak badly
After a breakup, it’s common for guys, and girls too, to speak badly about their ex-partner. It seems to us that, having poured out all the resentment, we are cleansed. In fact, it only exacerbates the situation.
When we talk about someone in a negative way, we are thinking bad things. How can one get out of the cycle of sadness and despair, if all our thoughts are concentrated around black. Where is the white?
Light and happy changes will come to you at the moment when you concentrate on something equally pleasant, positive. Therefore, immediately stop pouring mud on the former. Let her do a lot of nasty things. It is important for you to move forward without a trail of bitterness and anger.
It is enough to tell your friends a couple of times how it was, and close the topic once and for all. Otherwise, commercial vile words, dirty thoughts and a thirst for revenge will never let you go. It will only increase in size. And after a couple of months you realize: she left a long time ago, and you are still sitting in this puddle. The only thing worse than that would be for you.
What to do if you broke up with a girl? Do not blame and do not sink into a vicious depression. Day always comes after night. The difference in our life is that you yourself determine the white and black stripes.
It is always nice to feel sorry for yourself, blaming someone else for all the failures. People who give in to temptation are unlikely to succeed and become truly happy.
What to do if you broke up with a girl: 6 ways of development of events?