What to do if you can’t get to know a girl? Reconsider your views on this process as a whole. If among the new acquaintances there is not “the one”, it’s time to change the place of the search. If everything is somehow tied up, but quickly fades away, you may have to think about time. And if women absolutely do not want to even start conversations, most likely it is a matter of insecurity. Then it’s time to get rid of fear. But how do you do it right?
How to meet girls?
There are many ways and places where you can meet a pretty lady. Obviously, each of these options has its own advantages and disadvantages. It is important to know them in order to choose a dating method according to your soul and skills.
1. Internet (social networks, dating sites).
Pros.
- The opportunity to get to know a person a little in advance, that is, even before the meeting.
- A wide selection, selection filters by hobbies, country / city, age, etc.
- If we are talking about dating sites, then the goals of the interlocutors will coincide.
- A wider range of search – you can meet people from remote corners of your locality, other cities, and countries.
- Dating on the Internet is not as difficult or scary as in reality.
- You can change your answers, think it over well, and not give them instantly.
Minuses.
- In reality, you still have to meet, and it’s not a fact that it will be easier to do after preliminary communication.
- Fake profiles, closed accounts, photoshopped photos, distortion of personal data, embellishment of one’s qualities.
- Not all interlocutors want to meet in reality, and some of them do not admit it at all.
- Problems with scheduling a real meeting if the interlocutor lives too far away.
What will be needed?
- Any gadget with Internet access.
- Literacy, the ability to clearly convey thoughts in written and printed form.
- A small creative for a welcome phrase (“Hi, can I meet you?” Doesn’t work).
- A well-filled profile with high-quality photos.
What to do if you can’t get to know a girl?
2. Chance meeting.
Pros.
- Romance, the ability to make a good first impression, better to remember.
- You can immediately see the appearance of a new acquaintance and how she looks in everyday life (with the exception of rare situations when the girl is well dressed up for a particular event).
- The reaction of a person to words or actions is clearly visible. Even if emotions are not expressed very clearly or openly, body language betrays.
- The place of the meeting says a lot about the person, whether it is an institution (how he spends his free time) or a simple park (likes nature).
Minuses.
- Greater fear of awkward silence or failure, self-doubt.
- The outcome depends on many details – the first phrase, tastes, mood of the girl.
- A friend may refuse to talk simply because she herself was frightened, felt awkward or shy.
- The employment of the interlocutor, ignorance of her marital status.
What will be needed?
- Creativity, resourcefulness, initiative, courage.
- Basic knowledge in psychology, skill to conduct conversations.
- Clean appearance, fresh breath.
- Frequent walks down the street or visiting establishments with a large number of people.
3. Speed dating or dating nights.
Pros.
- A complete coincidence of desires to meet, to arrange a personal life.
- The opportunity to see, evaluate the interlocutors live.
- Romantic atmosphere of themed clubs.
- Often – the anonymity of the voting results (especially for speed dating).
- There is no need to be overly inventive or go around in circles for a long time, thinking about how to start an acquaintance; saving time.
Minuses.
- Not a very wide circle of acquaintances – only a few loners dare to look at such events.
- Limited time for conversations (you will have to pay attention to several people in turn), rush.
- The crowd, the presence of other male competitors to the attention of women.
What will be needed?
- Websites, social networks, media, which provide contact details of the organizers, announce the dates of such events.
- Attractive appearance (an old T-shirt with sneakers most likely will not work).
- A few pre-prepared questions, so that in a limited time, do not forget to find out interesting information about new acquaintances.
- You may need a small financial contribution to enter.
4. Common acquaintances.
Pros.
- There is no need to look for a candidate for dating, guessing if she wants to chat.
- If the friends are close enough, then they are more likely to set up a rendezvous with a really suitable stranger.
- If successful, the girl will easily enter into a friendly company, as she is already familiar with some of this circle.
- If a young lady is friends with the same people, then surely the guy will easily find something in common with her.
Minuses.
- Friends may not guess right with the choice, which is why the date will go, perhaps not in the best way.
- Most likely, friends will know about many details of this relationship.
- There is a possibility that failure with the proposed woman may slightly affect relationships with friends.
What will be needed?
- A couple of acquaintances with a good social circle and good taste.
- Most likely – a small gift (flowers, for example) for a meeting.
- Some information about the alleged acquaintance – how she looks, what her character is, what she likes.
What to do if you can’t get to know a girl?
When dating girls is not the best idea?
1. Bad mood.
If it seems that a pleasant acquaintance will immediately cheer you up, then no, it is not. Due to an unimportant mood, you can spoil the whole meeting, and from the very beginning – from the first phrase or the wrong presentation of yourself as a whole. A bad mood, even with a successful set of circumstances, will result in:
- caustic or just bad jokes;
- pessimistic tone of conversation;
- active/passive verbal aggression;
- body language (clenched jaws, for example).
Girls are wary and suspicious of strangers. And if the gentleman still has whining or negativity, then the chances of pleasant communication become even less. Therefore, it is better to first calm down, distract from everything bad, find a reason for a sincere smile, and only then decide on such a step.
2. Quarrel or breakup.
After an unpleasant showdown with a current or already ex-girlfriend, guys often start looking for a replacement. The reasons are different, but basically this desire:
- cause jealousy in a (former) beloved;
- drown out unpleasant feelings inside;
- increase self-esteem, satisfy the ego;
- fear of being alone, dependence on attention.
In any case, this is an attempt to deceive yourself, your beloved, a new acquaintance. Especially the last one, because she will not even suspect that her boyfriend’s heart is already taken or he just wants to have fun. But the truth will come out, and the consequences will be unpredictable. It is better not to create such problems for yourself and get acquainted again only if the old gestalts are completely closed.
3. Boredom.
Dating “nothing to do” does not always end well. Usually men are in no hurry to warn about their intention to just pass the time. And by doing so, they successfully give false hope to their partners. What does it all turn into? Obsessive calls with a showdown, quarrels, reproaches, revenge. In the worst case, of course. But even with a successful scenario, a girl can calculate a weak interest in herself and get angry for driving her by the nose.
4. After the work shift.
Physical and emotional fatigue, not the best appearance, “alpine freshness” of the body – the minimum set of reasons to postpone acquaintance. For such an event better take a day off. What will it give:
- there will be more girls on the streets;
- you can “prepare” your appearance;
- you don’t have to rush anywhere;
- there will be more physical and mental strength.
It’s much better than getting to know each other when fatigue pulls you down to a pillow worse than gravity. Yes, and drowsiness, lethargy, slowing down the brain will immediately be noticed.
5. Alcohol.
Alcoholic drinks sometimes give courage, enhance creativity, charisma. But they also braid the tongue, make the gait uneven, erase the boundaries of decency, create a spicy aroma of a roadside pub. It is unlikely that an adequate lady will like such a set. The first impression will be hopelessly spoiled. Moreover, the young lady will become afraid of such a gentleman and will rush to leave as quickly as possible.
What to do if you can’t get to know a girl?
How to overcome fear and get to know each other?
Fear is one of the main reasons why a guy hesitates to approach a pretty stranger or is not particularly successful in his attempts. Therefore, overcoming fears in this regard is already a half-solved problem. How can this be done?
1. Think about her feelings.
No matter how confident the girl may seem, she is worried too during the meeting. The realization that even an impregnable beauty is experiencing the same thing makes the task easier. Moreover, the more a stranger likes her interlocutor, the higher the degree of her unrest. And the more desire to please, to flirt. You can easily guess about this state by seeing how she:
- straightens clothes or hair;
- sorts out small objects in his hands;
- smiles sometimes out of place, giggles nervously;
- blushes, covers her face with her hands;
- abruptly looks away, but always returns it;
- slightly stutters, embarrassed about it.
Noticing something like this, you can relax a bit, because women’s attention and approval have already been received. The main thing is to continue to follow the jokes, themes. But this will be easier to do, since closer to this stage, the nervous trembling will finally subside.
2. Imagine failure.
Sometimes, to get rid of a strong fear, it is enough to present the worst story in vivid detail. The brain makes you fear the unknown more than defeat. To say goodbye to fear, sometimes you can simply remove the white gap in the imagination.
What will happen in the worst case? She will yell, insult, ridicule, slap or simply ignore. conclusions:
- Such behavior is not common, and the point here is rather the adequacy of the stranger, and contacting a troubled lady is more expensive for yourself.
- Any of these options is not fatal, it does not really matter for later life, reputation or future acquaintances.
- Soon the situation will be completely forgotten or will be perceived as a fun incident from the past.
After presenting failures, realizing their insignificance, it will be easier to approach a stranger.
3. Don’t get straight to the point.
It is not necessary to approach with on-duty phrases like “Let’s get to know each other?” or “Does your mother need a son-in-law?” To make it easier to start a dialogue, you can start with a neutral phrase that would not directly indicate a desire to introduce yourself. These are questions about the location of a building, time, or an unobtrusive offer of help. And then you can develop the theme.
This approach will allow you to easily start a conversation, less nervous. And if the girl was not the friendliest, it will be easy to say goodbye to her right away.
4. Use your imagination.
You can connect fantasy right away in two directions:
- imagine that the young lady is an old acquaintance with whom the barrier of awkwardness has long been overcome;
- imagine how she eats, indulges or does any of the most common activities.
The second option will help you realize that the stranger is not at all a pretentious socialite, but a completely ordinary girl. And it is also common for her to conduct daily affairs, sometimes to be embarrassed, nervous, happy, feel awkward, etc. So, finding an approach to her is quite a feasible task.
Acquaintance with a girl requires knowledge in psychology, etiquette, oratory. However, if desired, the entire base can be mastered. Understanding some of the subtleties of such a thing, you can successfully acquire not only happy relationships, but also useful connections or new friends. And the “where-when-how” rules from this article will help you better navigate and still make an appointment with a charming stranger.
What to do if you can’t get to know a girl?
