What to do if you cheated on your husband with an ex-boyfriend and he found out? You and I are living people, and we tend to make mistakes, or, having succumbed to the impulse, to commit rash, futile, futile There is something that is stronger than a person. And in fact, it’s not even about spontaneity or actual needs in the “here and now” moment.
Stated question: about the consequences and retribution, if I may say so. Sometimes a person pays very dearly for a perfect action. The issue of betrayal is rather delicate and unpleasant, and first of all for the one who became the culprit of adultery. Your personal psychologist “Samka” will help you figure out what to do if you have changed your way
Factors, related to the actual situation
So, spontaneous and impulsive post-surgery, but unknown, but well-prepared seam. It could be that:
- Are you still in love with your ex?
- in a relationship with a guy, not everything is so smooth and many things do not suit you;
- you are in different cities, and even countries, and the former is nearby, at your side;
- the new guy does not suit you intimately;
- you have never been particularly faithful to someone, and this betrayal is not the first;
- you lack the sharpness of sensations;
- you were heavily intoxicated.
For more words, than factors that are too big for:
- cheating as a result of relationship problems;
- betrayal is a consequence of the loss of control;
Ask yourself some key questions
Before answering “What to do?” you should ask yourself questions: “What can be the consequences of betrayal?” and “How do I feel after cheating?”. It is the answers to them that will become the foundation for building a strategy. Look, if you are sorry, and you understand that you have made an unforgivable mistake, the resolution of the issue will be sufficient.
This is due to the fact that you first need to work through the pangs of conscience and feelings associated with guilt. Next, make a decision that may have unexpected consequences.
But, and if betrayal, in your understanding, has become a kind of springboard for “exiting” the relationship, as you yourself understand, the answer to the stated question will be obvious – you just need to admit it.
Dialogue with yourself
To understand how to proceed further, you need to start a dialogue with yourself. Consider that we are talking about a psychological conversation, during which a lot of useful information will be revealed. Start with the paramount – try to analyze what prompted you to cheat.
The second important point will be the analysis of your own feelings and thoughts. And here it is important to understand who is the main character. We mean the following: io laughs leave an unpleasant aftertaste associated with exhibiting soy sersons.
Let’s say you can consider yourself:
- a traitor;
- bad, etc
Or maybe the focus was shifted to your boyfriend. For example, the following thoughts are spinning in your head:
- he is very good, and does not deserve such an attitude;
- he loves me so much, and I, with my betrayal, trampled on this bright feeling;
- my boyfriend does a lot for me, cares, tries to please, fulfilling my desires, and I thanked him;
- I know that he never cheated, and certainly not capable of cheating. Against its background, I will always “look bad” from the moral side;
- my boyfriend is cool, and deserves someone more devoted to the narratives, I am my betrayal,.
Look, thoughts can be different. The key is a certain regret on your part, and sympathy for the guy.
Don’t worry about it. Having carefully weighed the “Pros” and “Against”, you will come to the conclusion that treason is nothing more than a natural final final final of the Vanshi. You clearly realize that you still love your ex and would like to try to start over with him.
Or perhaps something does not suit you in your relationship, and unconsciously you have long been ready for a break, but there was no excuse to put a big and bold point. Treason, on the other hand, acts as an action that burns all bridges and does not allow you to go back.
Are you proving the details? Is there something you were missing? Has there been a misunderstanding between you, and if the answer is yes, how often?
Also, as an option, in the course of a dialogue with yourself, you will become the very famous lawyer Plevako, who has not lost a single case in his entire legal practice. We mean that, weighing everything carefully, you will come to the conclusion: your boyfriend is to blame for the betrayal, they say, he himself, by his actions or inaction, pushed you into the arms of the former.
If we summarize this topic, a completely logical conclusion suggests itself: after the revision of betrayel:
- what served as a “trigger” for treason;
- How important is your relationship with your current boyfriend to you?
- Who is your ex to you?
- Are you ready to stay with your boyfriend, or is he more than just a random travel companion in your measles.
What to do if you cheated on your husband with an ex-boyfriend?
When we come to the final part of the topic, you will put a comma yourself. Here and there it is written in the situate of the place. If you see, the budget will vary:
- leave, you can’t stay;
- you can’t leave, you can’t stay.
In fact, we are talking about: either tell the truth, and finally break off the relationship, or continue to meet with the guy, and “bury” the fact of betrayal somewhere very deep in your soul and memory. By the way, there is another option: to “cleanse” with the truth, and hope that your loved one will forgive you, and everything will be fine
If you decide to leave
You are entitled to the price, so that you can get it, and it isn’t where you want it. The subject is, it’s okay, it’s not that bad, and it’s hard, it’s a dream. In this case, it is very important to take into account the individual characteristics of the guy.
Look, someone can react steadfastly: yes, it will be painful, unpleasant, and so on, but he will survive it, and calmness, etc., will be empty. It is important to talk to such a person in real life, and not send SMS, and then block him wherever possible. Let’s not forget that no one has yet canceled the human attitude towards another.
For such, the fact of treason may be like a red rag to a bull. Therefore, you need to act very carefully: either inform by phone so that your protection against his possible inadequate reaction is the physical distance between you.
If you decide to stay
Of course, you can confess, but the story below from private practice will be food for thought. A certain man found out about the betrayal. He loved his wife very much, and tried to forgive her: to forget that there was a betrayal, and to live on, as before.
No bed in tom, so you see in you on a little bit They lived together for some time, and eventually parted forever. The moral of this story is that men perceive betrayal in their own way, let’s say roughly, but in fact, how many perceive it: when men cheat, they use a woman’s body, if a woman cheats, they use her body.
And now think, confess, and guess: forgive or not, or you should learn a lesson from the current situation, work out all the accompanying negative thoughts and feelings, and close this situation for yourself and move on. The choice is yours, and we, at this stage, have completed our task.