The statistics are relentless: 75% of men and 53% of women cheat at least once in family life. True, most of them regret, do not want a repetition, and are afraid that the other half will find out about the betrayal.
The topic is very painful and delicate. If you are interested in this issue, then you still haven’t exactly decided what to do if your wife cheated and you want everything to return to its original place. The choice is not too great, let’s look into what happened and find a way out.
What to do if Your Wife is Cheating – Reasons and Ways out
If something seems to you, then it doesn’t seem to you
You can theorize on the topic of who all women after this can be as much as you like and think categorically. But when a person is faced with a real situation, then all his thinking is rebuilt. Well-established life, children. Longing, hopelessness, the desire to return everything as it was. This is probably one of the hardest blows for men that can occur.
There are a number of signs by which treason can be identified. This is alienation, and hiding the phone, and a sudden desire to preen. But it happens that you have irrefutable evidence of infidelity or a personal confession.
Sometimes it happens that a woman herself madly regrets what she has done and wants to save her family. Many couples speak out, find a reason, utter a grudge and … live on. The main thing is that you can no longer return to this topic. But this is not always the case.
What to do if Your Wife is Cheating – Reasons and Ways out
4 reasons why women cheat
Psychologists agree that
◆ Men can cheat even on ideal wives;
◆ Women commit adultery when a man makes serious mistakes in his attitude towards her (behavior).
What are these errors:
- The presence of changes on his part;
- Forced or forced to have abortions;
- Alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, here you can add fanatical “tankers”;
- Parasitism, unwillingness to try for the well-being of the family;
- Rudeness, assault, tyranny;
- Free time is spent on personal hobbies or friends, not on a woman.
What to do if Your Wife is Cheating – Reasons and Ways out
Reasons for cheating in women:
1. A polygamous woman with a high sǝxual desire, a nymphomaniac.
In this case, cheating on a girl does not mean anything unusual, just new emotions. And if you suddenly accidentally found out about it, then this is not the first and not the last time. When, instead of excuses and regrets, a woman begins to laugh at the situation, to say that nothing serious has happened.
For her, this is the norm. Often, such women have learned to hide their infidelities very well. This is a rare occurrence in nature.
2. Getting emotions with another man.
Routine from household chores, boring intimate life, lack of attention to her as a woman from her husband. Sometimes men in a bed think only about their pleasure, this gives rise to constant dissatisfaction. Hormones play, alcohol may be involved (for example, a corporate party).
Some man was nearby at that moment, showed attention, and was able to give her what her husband does not give. Change in this option can be repeated.
3. Falling in love with another man.
For girls, the satisfaction of physical needs is in second place, so infidelity, in this case, means complete alienation from her husband psychologically. Her thoughts, emotions, and energy are directed towards the other. Probably the most dangerous case for the family.
4. Revenge on her husband, resentment.
I thought it would be better, but it turned out to be a broken trough. Unfortunately, we (girls) often do stupid things under the influence of emotions, which can later be fatal. It is stronger than us, we cannot stop and turn on our heads.
Can you forgive betrayal? Will you be able to live on with the memory of what it was in your life? If you agree to turn a blind eye to this act and have the strength to admit that it was a mistake, then we will understand and get upset further.
9 destructive factors that will haunt you for the rest of your life
What to do if Your Wife is Cheating – Reasons and Ways out
Keeping a family “for the good” of children without debriefing is an unviable idea, as practice shows. The combination of all factors will sooner or later lead to an inevitable divorce, and here’s why:
1. A cheating wife who gets off with a quick reconciliation and does not experience serious mental suffering can begin to consider her generous husband weak-willed, a “rag” and continue her love affairs.
2. After some time, it may turn out that the wife’s love affair has a pregnancy or an abortion. Abortion, by the way, can be from the husband.
3. After a formal reconciliation with her husband, the wife will refuse to have children together. Such actions are simply a blow to the male psyche.
4. If there is a teenager in the family, then he is able to start making fun of his father’s “weakness” or defiantly pity him. This is a direct path to a psychiatric hospital or to separate living.
5. Parents and friends who are dedicated to family problems will be criticized for softness, even if not directly, then indirectly. Such pressure is beyond the power of any person to withstand.
6. Even a slight deterioration in the financial situation can be the trigger for the departure of a wife who will not value her husband by this moment.
7. Searching for a way out of mental anguish in alcohol or drugs will provoke conflicts and exacerbate an already difficult family situation. A wife tired of reproaches and showdowns can make a life together completely unbearable.
8. To cover the suffering, a man can immerse himself in a love affair on the side and create a new family.
9. An unrepentant woman may not appreciate a restored family and fragile good relationships and fall in love with another man in the future.
How intimidating this all sounds. But note that everywhere the verb “may” and “perhaps.” That is, there is a possibility of such a development of events, but it is just a probability.
Therefore, if you want to return the old good relationship, then you need to understand that you are doing it for yourself, for the sake of your family happiness and well-being, you do not need to put someone else’s interests at the forefront, even if these are your beloved children. It is important at the same time to discuss all the misunderstandings and slippery points.
How to regain understanding – instructions from psychologists
What to do if Your Wife is Cheating – Reasons and Ways out
It makes sense to work on restoring relationships only when a woman has respect for her man.
Perhaps this is the only and most important point that plays a role. Without respect, it is impossible to realize the full depth of one’s guilt and repent.
Therefore, in order to maintain your dignity, you should not fall into scandals and grieve out loud in front of her. Having a frank conversation can help.
What to talk about with a wife who cheated?
1. You need to understand why this happened, why your woman took this action.
2. Perhaps you do not fully understand what the essence of a woman’s sǝxuality is, how she is excited, what she needs to satisfy. It may also be that your temperaments do not match or you do not listen to her desires. And the other man just found an approach to her.
3. Ask her what she wants. What questions can help you figure it out and start changing?
“How do you see perfect sǝx?”
“What kind of p@rn turns you on?” (Yes, yes, girls also often watch, m@sturbate, extract some information from there and build their fantasies based on the scenes they have watched).
“What is your wildest fantasy?”
4. Rarely do girls dream of some unbridled fantasies like swingers, usually, they are limited to the light version of 50 Shades of Grey. By the way, this is why the book and the film blew up society and became so popular. They broadcast what the girls have always been embarrassed to say out loud.
5. What refers to the secret desires of girls:
– long forǝplay (up to 40 minutes);
– admiration for her;
– frequent tactile contact, hugs;
– the obvious dominance of men in everyday life;
– elements of mild aggression during intimacy.
6. Let her know that this situation hurts you. What is she willing to do to help?
7. Talk about how you both see the future of your relationship.
“Oh, this is a mismatch of temperaments!” (a case from one’s life)
The realization of this comes late, when the veil of love has subsided, and the seal in the passport is already flaunting. This is probably one of the reasons why I am FOR testing relationships for a long time by living together. But this is a digression. So, a case from life about treason.
Natalya has been married for 5.5 years, has a cool 2-year-old mischievous son. After the birth of the child, sǝx with her husband cooled off. The girl understood that the reason was in her, she became not so attractive, not so hot for her man.
Previously, before pregnancy, she was a light fluttering butterfly, but now everything has changed. Quite by accident, she meets Andrei, who made her feel desirable again. In general, she cheated on her husband, lost her head.
For almost 6 years of living together, she and her husband developed a certain pattern and ritual in intimate life, but here everything was different. The husband was not used to praising her, noticed extra wrinkles, said that her breasts had not changed for the better.
The lover sang praises, so that the tower was demolished. In bed, too, everything was new and different with him.
At some point, Natasha changed her mind and realized that it was impossible to destroy the family. She decided to revive the sǝx life with her husband. Thinking that she could get the same pleasure with him. She suggested that her husband do the same as her lover.
According to her, instead of getting pleasure, she felt only hostility and annoyance when her husband began to touch her and do what she asked. Unfortunately, in her case, she continued meeting with her lover in secret from her husband.
However, if temperaments do not match and it is difficult to get mutual pleasure in bed, you should not reflect strongly or fall into complexes. Everything can be learned, it’s just a matter of acquiring the necessary skills.
If you have a desire to return your woman, then you need to be prepared for the fact that you have to diversify, add or improve your intimate life.
What is treason? This is sǝx. Why was she drawn there? So there is something that she does not get from a relationship with you.
Help from experts
To understand your woman and find common ground in intimate life, you can go to a sǝx therapist as a couple (not to be confused with a sǝx therapist – he solves problems with potency, protection, deviation from developmental norms).
In our country, this type of problem-solving is gaining more and more popularity. In any case, it will be better than speaking out to friends or family, who will then remember this situation all their lives.
What to do if the wife fell in love with another?
When a woman falls in love, everything you do will not make sense. Because all her thoughts, actions, and moods will be tied and turned to another person.
Your attempts to return it, its former passion and understanding will only cause irritation. The best option, in this case, would be to step aside and give her time.
Perhaps, over time, she will understand what and whom she has lost and will want to return. But for this, you need to be calm, confident, purposeful. Continue to develop and live further, post photos of your new happy life on social networks.
She will definitely follow all this zealously. There is a high probability that at one point she will call and ask for everything back. It’s up to you to decide if you need it or not.
Why is this happening? What was before between you – love, affection, other tender feelings did not disappear, but moved into the background. The new man eclipsed her consciousness for a while.
7 Circumstances When You Shouldn’t Save Your Marriage After Infidelity
What to do if Your Wife is Cheating – Reasons and Ways out! If in total you have more than 3 of these points, then it makes no sense to save the marriage:
1. Cheating wife is not the first.
2. The spouse categorically refuses to have children in union with you.
3. A woman avoids intimate life for a long time with ridiculous excuses or does not consider it necessary to explain the reason at all.
4. Her love affair on the side lasts longer than a month.
5. The wife reported the betrayal in an everyday voice, without delay.
6. There are no signs of regret or remorse for the deed.
7. The wife sets the children against their father, says unpleasant things about him, while not telling them the truth about what they have done.
Perhaps, while reading the article, you have already decided for yourself what to do when your wife cheats. But remember that two people are responsible for marriage, so you need to hear each other and make a decision together.
