What to do on a First Date 6 Basic Rules? The first date is the most exciting and long-awaited. However, it often happens that it turns into a solid illusion. People whose first meeting went well may well soon quarrel and completely lose contact. Why? Because at the first romantic rendezvous, everyone tries to look their best. Because of this, it is difficult to understand who actually happened to be nearby. How to behave in such a way as to accurately determine whether there are chances for a joint future with a new hobby?
What is a first date?
The first date is the initial stage of conscious contact between two interested people. It can become a basic stepping stone for friendship, relationships, partnerships. And even for personal growth, because on dates not only the partner opens up, but the person herself with all her dreams, desires, ideas.
The first meeting does not always lead to the second, because not everyone knows how to conduct it correctly.
- talk without ceasing, tell all the ins and outs about yourself, without allowing the interlocutor to insert a word;
- remain silent or answer with monosyllabic phrases “yes/no”, “possibly”, “understandably”;
- bring friends or relatives as support;
- demand something from a companion from the first minutes of acquaintance;
- behave rudely, uncivilized, trying to show “coolness” (in fact, there is none at all).
But an even bigger mistake is to play someone else’s role. And everyone suffered from this defect at least once. On the one hand, this is natural, because you really want to please that pretty macho or that gorgeous beauty. The complexes work – and now the mask of another person slowly but firmly sticks to the skin.
However, this grimacing creates new problems:
- in an attempt to please a person, they forget to ask themselves if HE likes his new acquaintance;
- playing another person, you can miss your real partner, which this role will scare away;
- often the person herself does not notice how disgusting and vulgar the wearing of the mask is in itself. Who can be attracted to her? That’s right – the same disgusting and vulgar. Or playing their roles.
If the interlocutor adequately responds to shortcomings, while managing to notice positive qualities, this is already a reason to get to know him better. And if not, is it worth it at all to try?
That is why it is important not only to look closely at the interlocutor, listening carefully to him, but also to behave naturally. An artist’s masterpiece with slight scuffs and cracks is valued much more than a glossy painting in a gold frame from an amateur.
What to do on a First Date 6 Basic Rules?
What to do on a first date?
1. “Do not care” about appearance.
Elementary accuracy, of course, is important, but if there is no excessive craving for pedantry in the soul, then no one requires it to be instantly driven into oneself. It is better to wear clothes from the existing wardrobe, moreover, not the only dress for special occasions or a “lucky” shirt.
With a hairstyle, too, you can not be smart. Why not come with the usual styling (or none at all) with tidy, clean, healthy hair? A few more tips:
- do not experiment with perfume on the eve of the event, choose your usual smell;
- girls – apply light daytime makeup or decide to come without it, guys – make sure that the beard, mustache does not interfere with communication, lunch/dinner;
- put on comfortable shoes – you may want to take a walk;
- do not get hung up on problems in appearance – all the shortcomings are forgotten after 5 minutes of communication;
- it is desirable that the outfit is also comfortable – the skirt does not jump, the belt does not press, the blouse does not shine through if this causes discomfort.
Consider bee clips, bright yellow bow ties, or other personal quirks. Who knows, perhaps it is on the first date with the next person that she will be lucky enough to meet the same eccentric, soul mate.
2. Forget about advice from magazines.
“Girls, you should be silent, laugh at his jokes, even if they are not funny, and silently admire him every 30 seconds.”. “Guys, you are obliged to come with expensive bouquets, open your mouth only for compliments and prepare to marry her from the first second of your acquaintance.. And 100 more tips leading to a long, but completely unhappy and lonely life.
Stereotypes are a dead end. There is nothing human, animated, real in them. But there is a living person nearby with all its pluses and minuses. How to prevent prejudice from spoiling a romantic meeting:
- do not try to immediately connect the appearance of a person with his personality, give him a chance to open up in a conversation;
- adequately respond to a point of view that differs from one’s own, hear it completely, perceive the arguments;
- in case of any troubles on a date, try to change the subject or calmly figure it out, and not run away or express indifference, anger, heating up the situation;
- if some words or actions are especially incomprehensible, finding out their reason or meaning can turn out to be a banal misunderstanding.
Every story has a million scenarios, the advice from cheap magazines is simply not able to predict even a thousandth of them. This means that there is a reason to give free rein to improvisation and a small drop of romantic magic.
3. Show imperfection.
On the first date, awkwardness comes up every now and then. It is created by fears – to say something superfluous or not in the right place, to seem stupid, imperfect. It is better to cast aside the fear of your imperfect body or character and boldly admit your shortcomings.
“Sorry, I’m late. This happens to me from time to time. Struggling with non-punctuality, but so far I am losing on all fronts..
“I’m quitting smoking, so I’m more nervous than usual. It’s hard, but you have to keep going.”.
“Sweets are my weakness. Can’t turn down an extra serving of dessert.”.
You can joke about your peculiarity – this is also quite acceptable. What gives such a move:
- the atmosphere becomes more free, relaxed;
- interlocutors relax, cease to keep themselves in constant control;
- it will be easier for the partner to open up, to tell the truth about himself.
In addition, such frankness can strengthen the bond. Perhaps this particular person is also struggling with his lateness, quitting a bad habit, or loves sweets.
4. Ask questions.
It is not enough just to talk about yourself and listen to the interlocutor. It is important to be interested in his personality. This will help to get to know him better, without building images that are far from reality. What can you ask about:
- hobbies, hobbies;
- art (especially cinema, music);
- plans and dreams;
- the ideal couple, relationship.
If during the conversation a common topic is found, you can ask leading questions on it. It is better not to discuss religion, politics, problems, social status, the financial situation.
If you still really want to talk about such topics, you will have to formulate everything so that communication does not look like an interrogation. For example, instead of the dry “What is your income?” ask “Do you love your job?”.
5. Don’t care about standards.
For men – action movies, fishing, meat, for women – salads, fitness, melodramas. Departure from such a model is often perceived as a deviation from the norm. In fact, only the desire to blindly comply with imposed standards can be called abnormal.
If a guy likes walking in the rain, romantic dates, he has every right to invite just such a meeting.
If a girl is fond of football, she can talk about this topic, put on a T-shirt with the attributes of her favorite team, and call the football anthem the best song.
6. Let the interlocutor choose a topic.
Sometimes, to get to know a person, it is enough to let go of control over the situation. To give a companion the opportunity to direct the course of the conversation means to understand his type of thinking. What can you learn about a person in this way:
- ability to talk, be sociable, resourceful
- priorities. What he starts asking/telling about in the first place is the most important;
- desire to continue the conversation, level of persistence;
- degree of openness;
- presence/absence of delicacy. Once the basic topics are discussed, you will want to ask tricky, too personal or even vulgar questions. This moment will show whether the person has enough determination or impudence (depending on how you perceive it) to ask them.
The first date can become a fairy tale, where he is a courageous prince, and she is a gentle princess. Or a film in which a couple plays the roles of a millionaire and a simpleton with a crazy reservoir of passion inside, and their love is always at first sight. However, fairy tales and films have their end, after which only the unknown remains. Life is endless. And it’s better to show yourself sincerely in it in order to get a chance for new real relations.
What to do on a First Date 6 Basic Rules?