What to do when a relationship crisis strikes? Even in the most reverent love affair and ideal marriage, a relationship crisis occurs. The feelings of all love couples are subject to him. Only Romeo and Juliet carried their love without tarnishing it with reproaches and quarrels. But their love did not last long at all and claimed the lives of unfortunate lovers. Long-term and marital relationships, sooner or later approach the starting line called “crisis”.
The first sprouts of trials
At first, loving partners cannot live a day without each other. They breathe in unison, go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time. They forget about everyone and everything, just to spend time together. Gradually, young people get used to the company of the second half and the magical awe gradually disappears.
The closeness of a partner does not cause exciting emotions. The guy and the girl cease to amaze each other and arouse mutual interest. Relationships take on a mundane and boring form. Love smoothly flows into a habit, when the beloved is perceived more as a sister than a sexual object. The guys begin to look around, interested in other ladies in skirts. This is how betrayals begin or objects of sympathy appear on the side. A family boat or love relationship is slowly cracking.
Mutual claims
The crisis in relations manifests itself gradually. Reproaches, mutual claims and insults begin. Partners notice the shortcomings of the second half, although before that they considered “their love” to be ideal. The girl from the “beloved princess” turns into “a bore, a lazy person and a grumpy woman.” “The man of dreams” and “the handsome prince appears in a new guise:” an egoist, a cracker, a bungler, a rude and a loser. Insults cease to take on the mask of “cuteness”, each time taking a serious turn.
Now a man makes his passion cry not only from happiness. Ah, the woman makes her friend, slamming the door loudly, run away from home and wander around the city, hungry and unhappy. Relationships stop developing, running into a wall of misunderstanding and disappointment. The more passion and love bind a couple, the more painfully the stage of insults and quarrels passes.
Different interests
Difficulties in relationships begin when partners realize how different views they have on life. Suppose a woman belongs to domestic persons. She enjoys gardening, baking and cooking. He does not like noisy gatherings, crowded places and parties. On Sundays, the girl attends church, and communicates only with elderly relatives and organizers of the dog shelter.
The man is the opposite: an inveterate atheist, a lover of bright parties and the bustle of the city. Every weekend the boy drags his friends with their wives to the house to have fun and spend time with a glass of wine and barbecue. The wife patiently endures their presence and the difference in views from her husband. But gradually patience bursts and the light of God spills out mutual reproaches about the difference in life principles. In such a situation, there is no one to blame. Everyone lives as he sees fit, and does not want to give in to a partner.
The appearance of a child
The birth of a child is a happy event in a young family. A red-cheeked baby with daddy’s eyes and mommy’s smile has been waiting for so long! Young parents cherished the idea of a happy life together for nine months, but with the advent of a new family member, something went wrong. The peanut constantly whimpers, does not allow parents to sleep peacefully or be alone. The wife becomes tired and irritated.
The husband understands that now he plays a far from important role in the life of his beloved woman. He longs for intimacy, but his wife, worn out by everyday life and a restless baby, angrily rejects the hints and harassment of her partner. Young people gradually move away from each other. Soon they begin to understand that apart from a common child, there is nothing more that connects them. The appearance of a baby is not only a joyful change in the life of a young family, but also a serious test for the strength of feelings, mutual assistance and respect for each other.
Hard time and trouble?
Domestic difficult questions and other tests bring a crisis in relationships. Families are faced with situations in which it is necessary to join forces and overcome a difficult period. It can be: dismissal, unexpected serious illness or death of one of the relatives, bankruptcy or other “catastrophe”. Such situations can either strengthen or destroy family ties, depending on the behavior of the partners. Tests appear just at that moment to show what the partner is ready for in order to solve a difficult situation. Unfortunately, some couples do not stand the test and move on the “family boat” to destructive power.
overcome the crisis
Problems within the union cell are not indicative of a “worthless family.” Difficulties arise in every couple. It is very important at such a moment not to ignore the first signals of the problem, not to aggravate the situation, but to wisely and deliberately come to the right solution. A successful way out of the crisis helps to strengthen relationships, a “new breath of love” and passion between partners.
Psychologists distinguish several difficult stages in relationships among beloved people. Relations between young people are gradually undergoing changes. Depending on the circumstances and behavior of a man and a woman, a love union either strengthens or gradually weakens, coming to naught.
First year – habituation
Love and passion blaze with special force at the first stage of a relationship. Young people gradually get used to each other, check personal boundaries, what is acceptable and what is prohibited in a relationship. Young people try to get to know their soulmate more, talk about the further course of the novel. They gradually realize how dear to each other. Is there understanding, patience and intimacy between partners?
The crisis in relations for the first year goes unnoticed by both. The couple comes to the conclusion whether it is worth being together or is it better to leave before it’s too late. The first year is not a short time. Most relationships ended after twelve months of living together.
Fifth year – habit and life
A serious test of relations falls on 3-5 years. Love attraction gradually develops into kindred feelings. The feeling of novelty disappears in front of partners. They are deeply attached to the second half, talk on different topics, reveal their secrets and mysteries. Both cease to be an “interesting object” and transform into a “read book”.
The degree of affection increases, and passion and attraction gradually fade away. Partners know each other like the back of their hand. They do not hesitate to go to the restroom, champ while eating and pick their teeth. A woman is not in a hurry to go to the bathroom early in the morning to brush her teeth and make up her face before her beloved wakes up. A man walks in front of his chosen one in holey and dirty socks, not caring about a three-day stubble. Ordinary and boredom slowly creeps into the relationship.
Seventh year – fatigue
Seven years pass. In the family, there is a “heaviness” from fatigue, which gradually leans on partners. They get tired of doing the same actions every day, seeing the same person in front of their eyes. Mutual understanding between relatives, and once, loved ones is gradually lost. A woman feels the despair of a housewife who longs to feel beautiful and loved. Daily life, caring for her husband and children are very tiring. She wants new impressions, confessions and vivid sensations. The husband, meanwhile, seeks to realize personal interests. It is impossible to carry out the plan because of the increasing responsibilities to the family.
The romance of the relationship has long since disappeared to an unknown address. Partners cease to understand each other, feeling mutual irritation and annoyance. At this stage, the husband and wife may have lovers.
The twelfth year – sometimes together, sometimes apart
Twelve years lived together is a serious crisis in the relationship. Spouses then disperse, then converge again. On the one hand, middle age is coming, a time when you inexorably want changes in your personal life. On the other hand, people are used to being a family, the degree of affection and kinship is so great that it attracts partners to be together. Growing children play a big role.
Adolescents are active growing children, with whom a lot of problems are associated. Parents unite again to go through a difficult time together. They join forces to cope with raising a child. The family does not pass dirty linen and stormy truces. A small domestic boat sways from side to side.
Year 20 forever? …
Twenty years is a long time to live together. At this time, adult children leave the home. The spouses remain together, from which they have weaned over the years. They feel emptiness and despair, not understanding how to fill the “hole” in the relationship. They have to rebuild the family model. Some couples go free-swimming and find new partners. However, the habit of being together takes over, and most of the traitors return back to the “home nest”.
Avoid accusations and insults
Building relationships is not an easy job. To maintain mutual feelings, partners need to make an effort on themselves, change habits and compromise. In difficult situations, one should be protected from mutual reproaches and accusations. Bitter words spoken in a fit of anger and despair can deeply hurt and offend a person. Having abandoned aggression and insults towards the chosen one, demonstrating patience and tact, the couple cultivates respect and understanding in the relationship.
personal freedom
Each partner needs personal space. When people constantly invade someone else’s space, then conflicts cannot be avoided. It is necessary to respect the opinions and interests of the spouses, as to their own. Feeling constant pressure from the outside, infringement of freedom and rights, a person will accumulate increasing anger and irritation in the soul. Sooner or later, the bomb will explode, destroying the relationship and intimacy between spouses. Each person should have personal space. Thanks to him, the partner is a bright and interesting personality.
understand and accept
You can avoid a break and trials in a relationship through compromise. For a long time together, a woman and a man can observe and understand what exactly angers and calms a partner. Sometimes a scandal develops from scratch, while a major quarrel could have been avoided if the partners understood each other. It is necessary to look for common ground that can affect the peaceful way of life of the family. Under any circumstances, it is important to provide support and participation to the second half. Such attention will help strengthen the relationship between spouses.
Diversity and interest
Habit and boredom are the enemies of love relationships. What does not develop is doomed to destruction. So that the feelings of the second half do not fade away, partners must always be and remain interesting personalities. Do not forget about the appearance, figure, cosmetics and razor. Women who take care of themselves and are overgrown with compliments will always be loved and desired by their husbands.
Big mistake: limit communication to the walls of your home. It is important to visit entertainment or cultural places together: restaurants, theaters, a circus, a skating rink, a gym. At the same time, you need to spend a little time separately. The woman spends the weekend with relatives, the husband goes fishing with friends. The partners return on Sunday and share their impressions over a delicious dinner.
In the fight against the crisis
A crisis in a relationship is not capable of destroying the love and marriage of a man and a woman if they act according to the following principles:
- Show respect and restraint during a quarrel.
- Do not stoop to low insults, humiliation and assault.
- Remain interesting and bright personality.
- Do not forget about your hobbies and personal space of both.
They say that patience and work will grind everything. With love, work and patience will help overcome any trials that threaten the relationship.
What to do when a relationship crisis strikes?
