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Why do people stay lonely? Not in the sense that they have no friends or relatives. And in the sense that they cannot find a mate. Everyone can give a sufficient number of examples of such loneliness among acquaintances. There are many reasons, but the main ones are few. They rule the fate of a person and prevent him from fulfilling himself on the love front. Moreover, these reasons are skillfully disguised as a huge number of different factors, and it is very difficult to notice them.
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Nostalgia rules the show
The first reason is nostalgia. Having experienced vivid impressions from previous relationships, it is difficult to find the strength to start new ones. Very often this happens when the partner’s departure is sudden, most often – death. Perhaps this is the toughest example, but it is the main one.
Remaining on this earth, all the time nostalgic for the departed person. It is difficult for him to switch to new people. In each potential partner, one who has gone beyond the rainbow is seen. Everything is compared with him: appearance, habits, actions, outlook on life. Breaking out of this circle is extremely difficult, and you need to have great fortitude in order to let go of the departed and begin to build a new love. Yes, of course it takes time. But if it dragged on for more than two years, then you can’t do without the help of a psychologist.
Approximately the same thing happens when a loved one just quits for unknown reasons. Even if the partner was a negative hero, then over time, the negative in relation to him walks, only positive emotions remain. Accepting a breakup is always hard. But it is better to cut on the living, than to while away the best years among cats.
The diary is the main enemy
Yes Yes! It is life in a tight schedule and according to a clear plan that makes it impossible to find love. Just no time. Having completed the cycle of daily affairs, there is only one desire left: to crawl to the coveted bed in order to get bogged down in business again in the morning. But it’s worth admitting to yourself that all these schedules and plans are far-fetched and find a moment of free life, as new relationships will surely loom on the horizon. Those who go for it consciously, as a rule, simply do not want unnecessary troubles. It usually occurs in adulthood with people who have gone through a divorce.
Disappointment
At the age of 20, to conclude that there are no worthy ones is stupid. There are 7.6 billion people in the world. Is there really no one among them who can make happy? Nonsense. Another thing is people over 30. Here they are 100% sure that all men are bastards, and women are fools. If you think like that, then the chances of meeting your soul mate tend to zero. Of course, this is natural, having burned yourself in milk, you will start blowing on the water. But, nevertheless, it is better to stop snorting contemptuously, and start perceiving each person from the good side. Then there will be a sense, and the relationship will not be long in coming.
What is meant by fate
Relying on the universe… Well, not a good idea. No need to count on gifts of fate: water does not flow under a lying stone. And, if the thought of loneliness is becoming more and more intrusive, then it’s time to take the reins of government into your own hands. Of course, only if there is a desire. Of course, shoveling a tank is also not ice, but no one has canceled intuition. If you already have an inclination to believe in fate, then you need to accept its signs: moving to another city, changing professional activities and other jokes of life.
A pig in oranges and a prince on a white horse
This paragraph is about women. That’s really who rummages through the candidates, like a pig in oranges. Important: there are not enough princes for everyone, someone will get the worker. But from any proletarian, you can make a prince. The main thing is to skillfully apply hands and brains. And female wisdom can work wonders. If you endlessly save yourself for the mythical character that appeared in your head under the influence of love stories and mommy whispers, then you can safely get fifteen cats and watch a string of TV shows on the housewives channel.
mussel syndrome
That’s what homebodies are called. They slam shut in their shell and sit without a glare. Favorite will not come and knock on the door. He must be sought. This means that your favorite book will wait until the owner is on a love hunt. It is doubtful that this, a la loner, does not have a little bit of a circle of friends. So there is nothing to sit at home and become covered with dust. Onward to adventure!
Conscious choice
This is the choice of mature people. As a rule, these are either widowers or survivors of a difficult divorce. Such subjects themselves make this difficult decision at first glance. It is quite conscious, and does not cause any discomfort. And they are easy to understand. Widowers, in 99.9%, continue to love the departed, and the divorced are in a state of the wildest disappointment and fatigue, they only need peace.
In general, each person is the blacksmith of his own life. No one can force him to do what is unpleasant or lazy. But, the crown of celibacy does not exist. This is just an excuse and justification for wrong actions and thoughts that are firmly stuck in the head. It is enough to get rid of this dope, as everything will fall into place.
Loneliness. Reasons for loneliness. How to find your other half? – Lesson 3
