Why did a man raise his hand to a woman and what to do?

Why did a man raise his hand to a woman and what to do? In any relationship, there are quarrels and conflicts. That’s how life works. Each person has an idea of ​​what is good, what is bad, how to act in a given situation. Ideas about norms and rules are laid down in the Parental Family from Childhood, and, of course, They differ from the attitudes of another family.

When you enter into a relationship with a man, you must take into account that what was accepted in his family may be fundamentally different from your ideas. To come to an agreement, it is necessary to learn how to build a dialogue, to be able to listen to a partner. Do you want to do that?

Pending conflict and aggressiveness

“There are no conflict-free personal relationships. Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship between people.”

Silvia Salinas, Jorge Bucay. “To love with open eyes”

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich: Pexels

Who doesn’t have conflicts? In the objective world, among infants, among mentally ill people who are not able to adequately reflect the nose.

Thus, the thinner the personal organization of a person, the more differences he has from other personalities, the greater the likelihood of a conflict with other people.

A person does not tend to conflict if:

  • a person does not have his own “I – concept”, or belittled by another individual;
  • a person does not perceive another individual as a person;
  • the person avoids solving the problem;
  • the individual anticipates the possibility of conflict and takes steps to prevent it.

A conflict can be considered the development of interaction between the conflicting parties over various interests and sings.

What contributes to the development of conflict? Accumulated aggressiveness. Aggressive behavior is caused by such emotions as dislike, fear, hatred or anger. In ordinary life, aggressiveness is discharged through various conflicts with a mass of people.

Ethologists* have determined that aggressiveness performs a number of functions for the existence of the species. And the redirection of aggression plays a paramount role in maintaining the hierarchy in society. The boss scolded the husband at work – the husband yelled at his wife – the wife punished the child – the child hit the kitten.

Soglasno Georgy Zimmely, not a philosophy and sociologist, should be able to choose between different categories:

  • the victory of one of the parties with the defeat of the other side;
  • prime;
  • compromise.

In the usual average family, where is the conflict. Who is to blame? Both are to blame, because two STORons are always involved in a conflict. The husband did something wrong somewhere, the wife made a claim, and a conflict of interest arose that needs to be resolved

What can not forgive a man?

The contact is by the design, so that the results are processed, and the projects are done. If in the course of the conflict quarrels occur, relations deteriorate and violence is manifested, then such a conflict is considered destructive.

Why did a man raise his hand to a woman and what to do?

In our society, there are different points of view on the manifestation of violence of a man against a woman. One of the opinions was expressed in an interview with journalists by TV presenter Regina Todorenko: “My husband beats me.” And why? Have you thought about it? What did you do to prevent him from hitting you? What did you do to make him hit you?”

Of course, a woman can become the initiator of the conflict. And that’s the first thing that comes to mind is that you want to hear “victims”, to one of the provoking “aggressors” on the scandal. But how does this justify a man?

Yes, men are very stressed, after a tense Hard Day It is easy to piss him off, and emotional relaxation is required. But is a woman a “punching bag”? If a man was thrown off balance by a two-meter paratrooper with fists comparable to a soccer ball, would he hit him? If you don’t want to try mysl o tom, is it possible to see it by yourself?

If the number of kilograms and the rust of the meter is that Maybe because he won’t get hit back? Is it on the meek in the will accept?

No quarrel, no “guilty” of a woman can justify a man’s violence. The only possible situation when a man could accidentally hit a woman could be if a woman, in a fit of anger, rushed at a man with a rolling pin, and he pushed her away in response so as not to suffer himself.

All other explanations are worthless. Therefore, if a man hit you during a quarrel, you must run away from this relationship. Perhaps many will not agree with this. You need to forgive, understand, realize your guilt, perhaps go to a psychologist. According to statistics given by Mark Barton, a Russian psychologist, only 2% of abusers turn to therapists, of whom even fewer complete the therapy necessary to correct the situation.

Oksana Pushkina, Deputy Chairman of the State Duma Committee on Family, Women and Children, said well about the existing stereotype “she is to blame”: “These stereotypes harm real victims of violence, who, under their pressure, live in a traumatic situation for years and are afraid to ask for help.”

“Ty, Marus, you are not here and there is a conflict so that you are not there!”

Leonid Filatov. “About Fedot the archer, a daring young man”

If you had a conflict with your husband, as a result of which he hit you, then you need to leave such onfins. Yes, he will apologize, swear that this will never happen again, but, as practice shows, a person is not able to change on his own. And all his assurances that he “realized and understood everything” will evaporate during the next scandal.

By what signs of a man’s behavior can one understand that assault is not far off?

  • A man is sarcastic towards his woman, regularly insults her, using all the obscene language, and Ignores her as a person.
  • Controls every step and every act of a woman, instilling in her her worthlessness.
  • He likes control and power over a woman, the main thing for him is the satisfaction of his own desires, but he does not want to be responsible for his actions.
  • A man demands admiration, servility from a woman, while the feelings of a woman do not interest him.
  • Uses the concept of “should” in relation to him from a woman, inspires her with a sense of guilt.
  • If a woman mentioned during a quarrel that she would leave him, she can threaten her with reprisal.
  • Since such a man considers his wife to be his property, he will control all her meetings, walks, provennoy provennoya.

All family conflicts can be resolved constructively. No only if both partners are interested in it.

“Terpenia and ware in certain subjects “Peretrut” lubye conflicts”

Oleg Roy. “A woman and a man”

An ethologist* is a specialist in the science of animal behavior.

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