You, probably, just like any girl, are familiar with dreams of love. You expect it as unearthly happiness and endless joy. No, that’s why it’s so strong, it’s not necessary to worry about it. But there were occasions for quarrels and torment. Let’s see why this happens.
Why does love bring suffering and pain
Photo by Alena Darmel: Pexels
Despite the fact that love is the most important and delightful feeling, it deserves to be met by every person during life, but it alone is not enough to feel happiness.
Love is only one of the components of happiness. Let this be an important component, but nevertheless, this is only a part of such a great feeling as happiness. In order for you to experience complete harmony, its other “puzzles” will also be important for you. If in Your life You will associate happiness only with a man and with love for him, then you will find yourself in a very unpleasant situation of an unpleasant situation.
Here we will talk about EMO-rational dependence, which, apart from suffering and pain, will not bring anything.
Usually, Young Girls who are still emotionally immature, and women with psychological problems fall into Love Addiction. The dependent person completely consciously withdraws from his life and begins to live the life of a loved one.
A person who falls into EMO-rational dependence becomes, as it were, an appendage of his love;
As a result, the individuality of the addict is suppressed, he is destroyed as a person, he does not see life without an object of love. Such a feeling does not bring happiness, it breaks the psyche, causes pain. A person loses the ability to be happy, to live a harmonious life.
When ordinary love brings misery and pain
There are also such circumstances, When ordinary Love, which is not an emotional dependence, brings disappointment to life. This happens in the following cases.
- Lack of mutual trust between partners.
We learn trust in childhood, when parents love us with unconditional love, not for fives and good behavior, but for what we are in the world. We understand that they will never leave us, they will always understand and stand on our side.
Why does love hurt? How to live happily?
If in childhood we are not used to trusting our parents, we are not sure that we are truly loved, then as adults we cannot calmly trust our beloved. In this case, we literally erase the personal boundaries of a person, control his step, constantly demand the manifestation of luwek. All this leads to irritation and fatigue.
- We are used to looking at relationships through the prism of rose-colored glasses.
We often idealize our partners. We fall in love not with a person, but with a certain image, which, by the way, can differ significantly from the original. This happens against the backdrop of a lack of life experience.
Therefore, girls often meet their first love in the form of overly “funny” guys who gravitate towards drugs, alcohol, and behave quite cruelly. Young people from wealthy families meet “money hunters”.
Of course, I don’t want to denigrate such an unearthly feeling as love, but it’s still better to listen sometimes to adults and think with your head, compare what you want with the actions that the object of love produces.
- Lack of readiness for adulthood.
The time of falling in love seems like real magic to us. Both boys and girls strive to look in the best light, to do everything for a partner, to fulfill his desires, the girl is always affectionate, the guy is attentive. They feel like they’ll never find a better one.
At the peak of feelings, lovers enter into a relationship. If the button is closed, it is necessary to correct it. Gradually, mutual demands appear. Readiness for self-sacrifice sharply decreases.
The girl is waiting for the young man to begin to yield to her, to take on all her problems. The guy is waiting for an ideal life, like a mother, comfort. Expectations for the first time do not coincide with the possibilities of young people. Avoid conflicts. Instead of joy, there is disappointment.
How not to dissolve in the object of love
You may have met the perfect love object. The man is like you in every way. But, if you start to get too close, eliminate personal boundaries, dissolve in a man, then nothing good will come of the situation.
To truly enjoy love, You need to find some other occupation in life, a hobby that will be no less important to You than love. You should have your own interesting world that will ignite you, energize you.
If you experience a charge only from a relationship with a man, then there is nothing good in this. You are in EMO-rational addiction. You no longer belong to yourself.
Never allow yourself to completely dissolve in a man, even the most ideal one. You cannot sacrifice yourself, your boundaries, your individuality. You will lose other important people in your life this way.
Always put yourself first, your interests. No position in the area in the victim of love.
What to do if love does not bring happiness
In order for love to bring only happiness, a number of recommendations should be followed:
- Try to see something good in the object of love. Often, irritation, the presence of domestic problems does not allow us to consider good qualities in a person. Maybe it’s a cooked breakfast, a warmed up car.
- Get rid of the illusion that having love makes you automatically happy. To do this, you will need daily deeds, efforts. No waiting for a man to take charge of your life.
- Don’t worry about problems in the outside world. A loved one is not to blame for the conflicts that have occurred.
- Take a break from the relationship. Analyze your life, look for the answer to the question: “Why does love not give a feeling of happiness.”
Unfortunately, love and happiness can be opposites in life. Relationships do not always give unearthly joy, sometimes they bring problems. To experience happiness, you need to find harmony in your life, a component of which is love.