Why give birth to children in this world if there is no money? In today’s world, when the childfree movement is gaining more popularity, many people ask questions about it. Some people think that “Children are a burden”, others that “Children are happiness.”
Despite the fact that these are two diametrically opposed positions, both will be true.
Children are a burden or not
Usually children are perceived as a burden by those people who simply do not want them. If you don’t want to do that, you may want to redistribute it. In many ways, parenthood is work, worries, it is a change in the usual way of life.
Being a parent is sometimes putting the interests of the child before your own, taking care of him, ensuring his safety and meeting his basic needs. In general, a burden is a painful, unpleasant concern. That’s what it’s all about, and that’s why it’s still there. Or if they thought they wanted children, but it turned out that they do not bring them happiness.
Or if they thought they wanted children, but it turned out that they do not bring them happiness.
Reasons why people become parents, although deep down they do not want to:
- the social attitude that prevails over a woman – the role of a mother is imposed on some, as an obligatory fulfillment of their biological program, this is the position “It’s supposed to be”;
- trying to save the family – some men and women think that the child is x c c;
- selfish or narcissistic position – oddly enough, some girls have children not because they are ready to take responsibility for them, but because they want to find a person who will love them absolutely and selflessly, and will never leave them;
- for the sake of social status – some women are not focused on the child itself, but on their role as a mother and the social approval that they receive;
- for the sake of material necessity – receiving benefits, housing, material capital, etc.;
- in order to fulfill themselves in life or to relieve themselves of responsibility for the inability to do this – some women blame the child for giving him better years, not building a career, and so on, simply because not everyone is able to take the blame.
All of these are not the most constructive reasons for becoming a parent. They can lead to the fact that the child will really be perceived as a burden, that the mother will only feel irritation towards the child, she will often get tired, etc.
Why have children if there is no money?
No, of course, there are also constructive motives for a person who decides to take on such responsibility. From the point of view of psychology, children give much more than it might seem from the outside.
- Children give meaning to life
Every person strives to have some meaning in his existence. Otherwise, they feel emptiness, anxiety, prone to depression.
Emily Smith has done 5 years of research on what life’s meaning is and how to find it. She shared her results in the book “The Power of Meaning. Create a life that matters.”
In it, she does not call on everyone to have children, but emphasizes that in order to find the meaning of life, a person needs:
- belonging – a relationship in which you are valued, and you value others;
- purpose – what you give to the world, activities that benefit;
- transcendence – going beyond the boundaries of oneself, a state of flow;
- stories about your life – what you tell yourself about yourself.
And in this regard, children may well become the meaning of life, because with their help you can get ownership, see the purpose in them, go beyond the boundaries of yourself, but most importantly, rewrite the history of your life.
After all, when you take the first steps with your child, worry about his successes and failures, share positive emotions with him, you re-live everything that you could have missed.
- Definitely say that before the summer
This is not about that notorious glass of water that someone must bring before death. With the help of children, a number of existential questions can be solved, one of which is what will remain after me.
someone writes books, someone builds houses, someone invents a cure for cancer. In psychology, any kind of creativity is often seen as an attempt to touch immortality. Because death is terrible because it is the end of existence.
No if a man has children or he has written the greatest masterpiece, he knows that his life will end, but he is not benignistl.
- Children increase happiness
It is not necessary, it is not necessary, it is not necessary to save the child and all the other probable problems. A child brings happiness when he is desired.
Moreover, this has been proven even at the neurobiological level, because parenthood is an endless stream of oxytocin, which is responsible for feelings of affection, love, unity.
This was confirmed by German experts who conducted the study “Oxytocin and vasopressin in the human brain: social neuropeptides for translational medicine” in 2011.
Oxytocin, among other things, is produced from hugging, stroking, any contact with a man, God. Its biggest surge occurs at the moment when a woman holds her child in her arms and feeds him goodyour.
- Children motivate to succeed
When a person has children, he has more motivation. He realizes that now the answer is not only for his life, but also for his bopolul suit,
To this is added the idea that the children will be proud of him, feel a sense of respect, he will become an example for them to follow, they will want to learn from his experience and repeat his success, if not surpass him.
Each person chooses to become a parent or not, and the main criterion in this choice should be desired. However, it is possible to call it, but it is not possible to say that it is so.
In any case, everyone finds the answer to the question why he needs children. If he sees in them only a problem and a burden, then he does not have the need to be a parent, he is realized in other areas, finds his calling, the meaning of life.
Those who want children do not wonder why they want them. The main thing is to understand your motives well and make an informed choice.