Why is it hard to make a life-changing decision? Admiring your beautiful dress in a sea of flowers on your wedding day, you hardly think that you can be leathered. No where are you, you will be asked to give it to me. Do I need to endure a falling apart marriage and when should I divorce my husband – the advice of a psychologist will prompt answers to questions.
Why is it hard to make a life-changing decision?
The main and most important reason why you should think about divorce is that your relationship with your spouse has exhausted. You can’t find common points of interaction, you don’t know what to talk about, you don’t hear each other. You have become so alien to each other that strangers seem to you more pleasant, friendly than your couple.
You are indifferent to him, he is an empty place. You do not want to communicate with him, you cannot force yourself to solve problems with him, to smile at him. However, if you just take this reason, then even then you should think about giving the relationship another chance.
For example, talk to a psychologist or psychotherapist who specializes in family problems. Perhaps the specialist will find small sprouts of mutual understanding, tell you how to care for them and restore, if not love and passion, then the desire to be with each other.
If you can’t find common ground, you will put a bullet in your relationship and you won’t regret them in the future or dream of their return. Everything will be said and decided.
When is it time to get divorced?
Signs of a possible divorce
Termination of relationships, parting is always a huge STRess for partners of their loved ones. Even if there is no intimacy in the couple, the husband and wife communicate little with each other, getting an official paper that you are now nobody to each other is an important step.
Some couples live separately for many years and do not file a divorce. This can be caused by a weak, often unconscious hope of rebuilding the relationship. Another Reason – Fear of Divorce – Spouses were brought up So that they must save the Marriage at any cost, Even If they cannot live Together.
Still, there are several signs when you should seriously think about divorcing your husband.
There are ups and downs in any relationship. Conflicts are replaced by romance, resentment – a joint vacation. On the other hand, there are so many problems in the room, and there is nothing wrong with them.
If the risk is raised, it is possible that the plot is empty. There is a crisis from which there is no way out. Maybe at some point you start to believe in good things, but as soon as you come home, you find yourself in hell, consisting of constant misunderstanding, conflicts, quarrels. As a result, you keep coming back to one thought – is it worth continuing to live like this, is it time to leave.
The negligence of the situation when it comes to storage. Constant deceit destroys trust, breaks mutual understanding. And even if the injured partner forgives infidelity, the grain of distrust will forever remain in his heart.
If they cheated on you, every time your husband is late, you will think that he is with someone again. It is impossible to get out of this fear, suspicion.
It doesn’t matter what type of abuse you’ve experienced – physical, emotional, sexual, financial. If you become a victim of aggression, you are humiliated, beaten, insulted, deprived of money, raped, you should leave your husband, if only for the sake of your own survival.
Perhaps you are being held back by a common apartment, but now it is not so difficult to solve the housing problem. Do children stop? Believe me, it is hard for them to endure violence and it will be even harder if they lose you.
Unwillingness to maintain family relationships
One of the partners decided that he did not want to maintain a family relationship. This is his firm position and it is useless to argue. You can humiliate yourself, cry, suffer as much as you like, all this will only lead to aggression and further alienation.
Lack of trust
It’s not even a matter of cheating. You just see that your husband is lying to you, twisting you, hiding the truth. From this it becomes disgusting, vile. You feel humiliation, dirt. Believe me, there are relationships in which there are no lies, and you are worthy of them and you can find such a person with whom you can trust.
The lack of trust is also manifested in the fact that you hide your own “I”, do not allow your spouse to see yourself in all its beauty. For example, you like to draw and don’t let him watch how you work, then you don’t show the result.
Or another example – Having learned the news About an increase, a foreign business trip or a dismissal, You scribble a message not to your husband, but to someone else.
No more “we”
Remember, before you always thought of you as one whole. She said: “We will go to the Store together”, “we will be fine on vacation”, “We will buy a dress, come to a party, drink beer, take a kitten.”
Now you always speak only separately about yourself or about him. You avoid calling your husband by his first name. When talking about him, use the pronoun “he”.
The inability to see a joint future
One partner leaves, does not give a chance to another to follow him, to be together. Often, a broken relationship is behind the move. The physical separation, even if it is designated as temporary, only dots the i’s.
Often a similar situation arises when a husband or wife goes abroad. The parties may even agree on a subsequent reunion as soon as the departing person gets back on his feet. In reality, after 1-2 years, everyone builds a new relationship, the spouses file a divorce.
Lack of communication
You live together in the same living space, but you don’t talk to each other. Sometimes it gets to the point where you stop saying hello.
More often, however, one of the partners is aimed at communication – he talks about his day, mood, asks how the other is doing. But does not receive an answer.
An abyss forms in relationships, people do not know anything about each other, they become strangers.
You always give the first place to someone else, not to each other. It can be children, work, hobbies, pets. Even if you have nothing to do, you still tell your husband that you are busy. However, and on answers you the same.
Sometimes it comes to the point of absurdity – a wife or husband invites a partner to celebrate their wedding anniversary, but he refuses, citing the need to go to the store to buy groceries.
Lack of intimacy
Sex is an important part of a marital relationship. It helps to overcome STRess, to become closer to each other, to have fun.
Often sexual intimacy allows you to solve problems that have arisen due to misunderstanding, or resentment. Instead of words, bodies begin to speak. This is a fresher, richer language that gives new emotions and experiences.
Preparing a retreat plan
One of the surest signs of a possible divorce is that you or your husband have begun to think about financial independence. To do this, secretly open a bank account, transfer property to a third party, look for a new, more statute slave.
If money is needed for general purposes, for example, repairs, it turns out that the husband cannot give anything. You yourself must sponsor the purchase of furniture, the education of the child. Naturally, if the need for money arises because of your personal goals, you will not receive help either.
Few people dream of divorce when they get married. However, often life develops in such a way that there is no other way out and it is worth thinking about getting a divorce. This situation arises in case of betrayal, lack of trust, communication, impossibility and unwillingness to save family.