“There are three mistakes in human communication: the first is the desire to speak before it is necessary; the second is shyness, not to speak when necessary; the third is to speak without watching your listener”
Confucius
Problem with this
Communication plays a huge role for a person. Thanks to him, he is formed as a person, gains knowledge, acquires skills.
The emergence and development of the psyche, the formation of a certain human behavior is directly related to his communication. Communication is one of the factors of effective human activity.
From the point of view of Galina Mikhailovna Andreeva, a Soviet Russian psychologist, Doctor of Philosophy, the Communication Model includes:
- communication, communication with the information;
- Interactive interaction between Individuals, When there is an exchange of actions in which the personal characteristics of those communicating are manifested;
- perception and knowledge of a partner to build interpersonal relationships.
Barriers in communication
Despite the desire to communicate, people sometimes have difficulty communicating with individuals. These difficulties in the psychology of communication are called barriers, they cause emotional discomfort, worries, and the inability to achieve the task.
The most common barriers:
- When interlocutors speak the same language, but put their own meaning into words and simply do not understand each other (semantic barrier);
- it is the case with sobesednikov that is sobstvennoy logic and it is not possible to argue with it;
- a personal feature of the interlocutor that irritates the interlocutor, manifested in behavior, for example, sniffing, smacking during a conversation;
- barriers arise if people enter into communication with different motives and goals, differing in moral and moral attitudes.
It happens that you easily communicate with colleagues, and with girlfriends, and with relatives, but when communicating with the opposite sex, it’s like someone jinxed you. It seems that you are both pretty and not stupid, but you don’t see much interest from the guys.
This is why men don’t get to know you
Subtleties of communication with a man
Every man first of all sees the appearance in a woman and evaluates her behavior. He cannot see if she has a rich inner world, if she is well-read, smart, well versed in poetry and prose. But a man can “count” the mood of a woman and assume that interesting in the dialogue will be boring.
Will she be able to appreciate his joke, or, as a result of her reaction, will he become ashamed. From the look of a woman, a man can imagine whether a conversation with her will be fun and relaxed, or as a result of communication he will feel that he owes her something.
If all the men with whom you have tried to communicate do not keep up a conversation with you, then, most likely, you have tried flying.
What woman do men not want to communicate with?
- With a woman who is dominated by negative emotions.
If you constantly experience such feelings as anxiety, worry, fear, then a man immediately recognizes them. When a Man Approaches a woman to talk, He expects that as a result he will get pleasure, a surge of energy, a good mood.
If he sees every time a sad woman, then in order to avoid getting additional problems from the outside, he will avoid contact with her. If a woman is in a state of anger or irritation, then this is very noticeable. A man does not want to become another object to which these emotions will spread.
- A woman who doesn’t like men.
Imagine, there are women who want a relationship with men, but do not feel tenderness and trust in a strong p. Their slogan is “All men are bastards, happiness is in work!”.
In their eyes, a man immediately understands that trusting relationships cannot be built, and he will not make attempts to get closer. Such a woman endlessly complains that “real men have died out”, but at the same time she hopes to meet the “only one” who will appreciate her.
- A woman who thinks a man owes her something.
If you approached her, then entertain. If you want me to pay attention to you, you should give gifts and drive to cafes. Such a woman first of all wants to “take” something from a man, and not “give”. Ain’t not worth it, it’s not hot, it’s not energy.
- A woman who loves to teach.
It can be immediately guessed by an evaluating look. She, not embarrassed, will make a remark if a man makes any mistake in the conversation. If a man is not shaved, or his suit is wrinkled, he will pay attention to this.
She clearly lacks tact in communication. She is like a teacher correcting second-year students. Of course, no man will tolerate such behavior of a woman.
- A woman who doesn’t love herself.
Low self-esteem, insecurity, constant suffering, are typical for women who lack the vitality of the river. A devastated, eternally crying woman cannot be sustained by more than one man. Nobody wants to try on the role of a “vest for tears”.
- The woman is toxic.
Everything is always bad for such a woman, and neighbors, colleagues, ex-husband are to blame for this. She postoyanno blames the government, the authorities and her bitter fate for her troubles. I want to stay away from this woman. If a woman cannot be happy alone, then how to build a harmonious relationship with a man?
- Woman – “snezhnaya koroleva”.
The queen can be very pretty, but so cold that it will scare away any man. Coldness can manifest itself due to children’s complexes, self-doubt, pride. Next to such a woman, a man is lost, and if he is not completely in love with her, then for full communication he will choose a more liberated woman.
What to do if men do not want to communicate?
If you have found in yourself the traits described above, then now you know where your failures in communicating with men come from. How to change the situation?
“The second half will be found when the first is full. Do not look for half-empty halves. When the full half appears, the soul magnet will work.
Karl Marks
- Необходимо обрести целостность and уверенность in себе. If there is a problem with the same thing, it will be difficult for you to see it in the psychologist. Being external is only possible with a non-emotional emotional state.
- Proanalyze, don’t try to do it and see it. Maybe initially you have distorted ideas about communication between men and women.
- Set boundaries for your personal space. Find out if you spend enough time on yourself, your favorite thing. Decide on your value system.
- Change your attitude towards yourself, admit your mistakes, understand yourself and accept. As the heroine of the film “Eat, Pray, Love” said in the final monologue:
“If you are doing it, you will be able to do so.
Or maybe anything: a house, old grievances.
And go on a journey for the truth
Look for the truth in yourself or the world around you.
If you are sincerely ready to take everything that happens along the way as a hint,
If you accept as a teacher everyone you meet,
And, most importantly, if you are ready to accept and forgive the difficult truth about yourself,
That’s when the truth will be revealed to you.”
When you find yourself, then you can easily and confidently build full-fledged harmonious relationships with your loved ones.
