Our current partners don’t want to hear about our exes 24/7. Does this mean that they do not care about “what happened before” and they do not want to touch on this topic at all? Hell no! A very small percentage of people are absolutely not interested in what their predecessors were (they are either very confident, or afraid of revealing their own secrets, or quite liberal, or really love you, or afraid to be disappointed, or just pretend), everyone else will one day carefully start a conversation about former. This is where it’s important to be careful. You hide – they will find out in a roundabout way. Talk too much – it will be remembered forever. Read the strategic plan and remember:
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Excessive praise of the external and personal qualities of the former love will at least make you doubt your feelings for the current love. Even if you consider your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend to be your first and last true love, you don’t have to say it out loud.
Although, wait… If you are crazy about your ex, maybe you should finally admit it to yourself, accept the fact that the person who is with you deserves better, and break up?
In all other (healthier) cases, it can be said that the ex was a decent person, with a good sense of humor. There are many pleasant memories left, but at the same time, you remember everything that caused the breakup (it is very important to make it clear that you are not a vindictive person, but with a good memory – you do not hold evil, but you will not go into the same river twice).
Don’t mix with dirt
Nobody likes guys who insult ex-girlfriends with the last words. No one likes ladies who use obscene language about the boyfriends with whom fate divorced them.
It would seem: to hear about the fact that your predecessor or your former competitor was pretty “fined” is a delight for the ears of the one with whom you are sharing the bed at the moment.
A guy’s ex-girlfriend can always turn out to be quite normal, but read our next article on how to build relationships competently for everyone.
In reality, it looks like this:
- “Was her ex really that terrible? We crossed paths with him a couple of times, he seemed like a normal guy to me. Maybe your demands are too high, girlfriend?
- “How can you talk about your ex like that? Even if she was such a fool and hysterical, you still loved her … Perhaps she is not such a fool, since she left you?
- “Hmm, as I understand it, if we part, then you will also tell all your friends such intimate details about me?”
Everything is the same as in the previous paragraph: mention that you had serious conflicts. Focus on the fact that you would not like to see such and such qualities in your partner. This is enough to satisfy curiosity and unobtrusively mention what you do not accept.
You were asked about your ex, not about his new girlfriend. At a minimum, the question arises: how do you know such fresh details about the life of a person with whom you no longer meet? Do you secretly keep in touch? Are you stalking your ex’s social media page?
Similarly, the girl will not appreciate your latest news about your ex’s new boyfriend. And your undisguised hatred and aggression towards him will lead to bad suspicions.
Who is she dating now?
– I think I heard that she got along with her colleague. Well, I hope they’re doing well. So where are we going tonight?…
You should not add complexes to your girlfriend by talking about your ex with the parameters of a supermodel and the skills of a p0rn star. Do you think that’s how you motivate her to sign up for yoga and become more relaxed in bed? No matter how. Most likely, the poor girl will acquire self-doubt and you will have sex once a year, in the dark and under the covers. If at all you have it from now on. Female resentment for sex is worse than impotence.
Men are much less suspicious creatures, but it’s also not worth testing their self-esteem for strength. “Sex was good, but in many ways inferior to ours. At least because I love you now. If you want to bring something from the past into bed, in any case, do not submit it as “Why don’t you do it like he / she …?”.
Because go for three letters – this is the softest possible answer.
Present the desired sophistication as a kind of trick, peeped in the film.
Is it worth explaining that your current girlfriend or boyfriend to hear from your lips “I still love her / him …” is a blow below the belt? If feelings for the former partner are stronger than for the current one, see point 1.
To a foreign monastery
Leave all cute habits, “for two” jokes, traditions, etc. in the past. Favorite cafe invariably associated with the former? Look for a new cafe, eat at home, discover new dishes. Does the resort bring back sweet memories of a vacation with an ex? Go somewhere else. While the wounds are fresh, do not stir them with unfortunate nostalgia. If you feel that everything related to the past causes negative emotions, avoid it.
Create new memories, love new bands and movies, read new books, set new goals and learn how to cook new meals. The more time you spend in the past, the more beautiful moments in the present pass you by.
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