People meet, fall in love, and at one moment decide to unite themselves by marriage. But it so happens that only in marriage does she realize that she has chosen a new companion, with ready separation.
And so the woman decides to leave, but her husband does not let her go. In every possible way prevents the disintegration of the cell of society. In the course are a variety of strategic moves. And the woman becomes a hostage to an unhappy marriage. What to do in such a situation? Let’s figure it out.
Why does the husband prevent divorce?
Divorce is a complex process, even when the spouses approached it mutually and without quarrels. No, it’s still possible, and it’s not, to that it’s a problem.
Especially if the woman is in an abusive relationship. It is legally possible to dissolve a marriage unilaterally, although it is more problematic than if both spouses agree to this procedure. But it happens that a woman can’t hus file for divorce, so m^ ready her her her.
A manipulative husband begins to use various tricks in a divorce situation, not because he loves his wife very much and wants to save the family, but because he wants to insist on his own, because he is comfortable in marriage.
Perhaps he does not want to lead a life, he is used to his wife serving him. Or the spouse for him is a “vessel” for draining negative energy. Either the spouse is a source of wealth. There can be many reasons, but one thing unites them – there is some kind of benefit.
There is also such a thing as “sick” love. In these cases, the husband is very jealous of his wife, constantly suspects her of infidelity, arranges checks. He considers his wife his property. And what kind of divorce can there be if the wife is an inanimate thing for him?
It happens that a husband really loves his woman and wants to keep the family hearth, but note that in such cases, he will act differently. He will try to talk about what problems exist in the family, take care of his wife, show love.
In such cases, the help of a family psychologist will come in handy, who can help alleviate family problems. A man who does not have mental problems, even in love, is able to let go of his spouse and start a new life.
Back to troubled family ties. In such difficult situations, a woman is intimidated and morally exhausted. She wants a divorce, but she can not decide on it. You ask yourself, how do you do it then? Let’s look at each case separately.
A post-Soviet relic is such a delusion that “a wise woman will always save her family.” And in spite of everything: “Well, he cheated, then he came to you”, “Beats – it means he loves”, “I have endured all my life”.
It means that she didn’t take care of herself enough, there was little intimacy, she led a bad life, she became uninteresting, she was too big box box box box box box box box As a result, a woman who feels unhappy in marriage cannot leave her husband and get a divorce.
As soon as she talks about the fact that it’s time for their life paths to disperse, the husband begins to put pressure on guilt: “You are ruining our family”, “I will tell your parents that you want to leave your family, they will support me”, “That family life is already not satisfied, do you want to go for a walk?
If you find yourself in such a situation, you should realize that these are empty manipulations. Don’t take on someone else’s fault. You are a couple and if something went wrong for you, then both of you did not finish something. A woman cannot be a priori guilty.
And instead of wasting your young years in an unhappy marriage, start a new life filled with joy and freedom. Most often, divorced women regret only one thing – that they did not get divorced earlier.
Manipulation of common children
Again, greetings from the USSR: “We must live for the sake of children”, “Children do not ask you that you could not keep your father in the family”, “I lived and endured with your father for you.” Remember that if divorce is approached adequately, children will survive it easily.
Better happy and divorced parents, and not always swearing and offended, but who saved the family.
In this case, manipulation can also be built on feelings of guilt: “What will you tell your children?”, “Children should grow up in a complete family”, “You will make our children unhappy”, “You are depriving children of their father.” This is the “light” version. There is also a “hard” version.
This is when the husband sets the children themselves against the wife. “Your mother wants to leave me and make you unhappy”, “She deprives you of your father”, “Because of your mother you will be”. This is done in a way that is related to the material and one that is selected from the other location.
Another manipulative move from a man can be a threat to deprive his spouse of the opportunity to raise children: “I will take your children from you in the event of a divorce”, “I will prove that you are inadequate and deprive your maternal rights.” Naturally, in such a situation, a woman is afraid to leave.
If you find yourself in such a situation, then remember that children cannot stop loving you at the snap of their fingers. Explain that you both love them, the father will not disappear from their lives if he does not want it. It is advisable in a situation of divorce to visit a child psychologist.
If the husband threatens to take away the children, then remember that in 99% of cases this is just manipulation and most men are not ready to take on such responsibility, especially egoists. That is what is practical in terms of the storage material.
Physical and psychological abuse
“Oh, who will need you so terrible”, “You are overweight, I’m used to it already, but the other will not look at you”, “You will be a divorcee with a trailer”, “What can you do without me”, “You are alone you won’t live” are the main points of pressure on the psyche of a woman in a situation of divorce.
Naturally, a manipulative husband will create complexes in you so that you do not get away from him. Moral pressure in this case makes a woman doubt the correctness of her decision.
And in cases where the husband also uses physical violence, the woman feels extremely helpless. She is scared and ashamed.
If you have been subjected to psychological and physical violence, then do not be afraid to tell me I’m under and and and and and Contact special centers for women who have been subjected to domestic violence and in law enforcement agencies.
Do not fall for intimidation, a person does this because of his own fear of being held accountable for what he did. And be sure to consult a psychologist.
Remember that divorce is not the end, it is just the beginning of a happy life filled with joy and good moments. Perhaps you will not meet a man soon, but another love will appear – love for yourself.