7 important things we look for in a relationship with a partner. Man is a social being. We need communication, the company of relatives and friends who can be trusted. In adulthood, we enter into relationships, and each person tries to get something of his own from them. What are the basic needs we seek to satisfy?
From the point of view of psychology, a person is looking for in a relationship what he lacked in childhood. Therefore, everyone’s basic needs may be different. Here are the most common:
- Safety. This is an evolutionary component – people pair up in order to make it easier to survive. Today, this is no longer necessary, but many still enter into relationships simply in order not to be alone. Having a partner gives a person a sense of security.
- Recognition of one’s own worth. For some, having a partner is a confirmation that “someone needs and is interested in me.” Yes, it is rather selfish, but such an approach also exists.
- Adoption. A person wants to be accepted as he is, and not try to remake him. For him, relationships are a confirmation for others: “I can, they love me, I am worthy.”
- Generality. Many perceive loneliness as a problem. For them, a relationship is an opportunity to be with a person with whom views on life, plans for the future, etc., partly coincide.
- Influence. Everyone in a relationship wants to understand that they can influence their partner in one way or another. Moreover, I would like to see the effect of this influence – in other words, to be able to “sculpt” from a person the figure that you want to see next to you. People who lived in Spartan conditions and did not have the right to vote in the family usually have such a need.
- Initiative. In a relationship, a person wants a partner to be interested in him. He took the initiative, gave signs of attention, had a hand in the development of the union.
- Expression of love. This is perhaps the main need. Everyone wants to feel needed and loved. I want to feel a sense of affection and understand that the same thing is present in relation to you.
Of course, there are other needs – an attempt to assert oneself, material gain, etc. Still, the psychological side of the issue plays a much larger role.