How to correctly tell a married man about a breakup? You are all burning in a hot fire of doubts about the fact that a difficult conversation with a partner is ahead. Your love, alas, has exhausted itself. You live as if by inertia, by a convenient habit, without the former passion and feelings. All that remains is gratitude for all the good things that connected you, it still somehow keeps you from the decisive step: close this page in fate and move on.
What will be his response? A pitiful hysteria, a loud scandal, a showdown, accusations, or maybe cold indifference and contempt. How do you want to gently, tactfully, carefully avoid all this. Wait for the moment when he himself takes the initiative, because he cannot but notice that everything is over or still enter into a dialogue of his own – thoughts are feverishly rushing around and around.
Is it an important reason?
It does not matter what led to the fact that the final “divorce, run in different directions” is inevitable. They didn’t have time to put it in the strains in the passport, which, of course, is only for the better, but inevitably you don’t ^ ts throttle, Or did you get married, at least a year ago or 5 years ago. And without a stamp, it wouldn’t be easier for you.
You feel a burning sense of guilt if you managed to seriously get carried away by another object. Now all your thoughts and aspirations are there, on the side, on the left, and the current companion is, in fact, not to blame for anything. It just turned out that he is “not yours”, there is no bitter fatality in this.
Time meanwhile mercilessly counts minutes, hours, days. The sentence of love must be carried out, and you tremble like a “hare’s tail” and keep postponing this spiritual one.
The nobility of a lady and her right deeds
It is not necessary to put off indefinitely a problem that has matured like an abscess. You are a moment when there are a lot of witnesses, other issues are subject to an immediate decision – and its its its. Sad to say “mirnyh peregovorov” nado s chistoy dushoi and dobrym serdsem. To mitigate the risks of an unpleasant verbal battle as much as possible, adopt the following hacked-out hack.
- Tyagomotin away
Do not pull rubber, do not come up with a bunch of reasons, according to the principle “it’s not evening yet.” Pity is a bad adviser, even if there is more than one year of marriage behind you. Nothing will resolve itself, will not fix itself. The hour of “X” for the conversation has come. Ahead of you are dizzying meetings, acquaintances, and novels, .
- Lies and deceit – aside
State directly, without ambiguity and inconsistencies – you will no longer be together. Nobivay sub-match, arguments, nuances: You really don’t think so, so don’t add fuel to the fire. Lying is a mean trick that can ruin the future of your former chosen one, hurt him for life. You don’t want anyone to do the same to you.
- Honestly wait with starting a new relationship
On someone else’s misfortune happiness can not be built. Remember this wise proverb. Do not make love “dancing on the bones” of your relationship. Do not rush to declare: I am now with another boyfriend, I have fallen out of love, you are not interesting to me. Do not rush to post photos on social networks as soon as possible, share the story of the new novel with your girlfriends, brag about how “pretty and cute against the background of the old version” is. Save face and honor until the last moment of communication. You can still do everything.
How to say goodbye to a man?
- Give up the idea of being friends
Often the tales that former lovers are the most devoted friends after parting are devoid of evidence. Unsuccessful, but once seemed very happy and prosperous love, will definitely leave a “mark” on the alert. Moreover, men somehow easily relate to the prospect of unburdening “sex according to old friendship”, they do not consider this a reason for doubt, you got along so well in bed, so why not. Think about whether you are ready for such a development of events.
- Do not leave “understatement” after the conversation
Stingy phrases like: I just decided so, without explanations and polite curtsies – a disastrous path.
If the “fat” point is not set, your ex-partner, firstly, will sincerely worry and remain at a loss for a long time, and secondly, will lose the ability to build healthy relationships in the future. Don’t be so cruel, listen to everything he wants to tell you and answer all his questions.
- Don’t make public fights
Even if you have worked out your entire “manifesto” about parting in advance, rehearsed in front of a mirror, calculated the options for reactions from a man, do not even think about starting a conversation somewhere in a company at a party, having taken a couple of glasses of wine for courage.
Not suitable places would also be your office if you work together, his parents’ apartment, where you habitually dropped in for tea, a fitness workout, a theater performance, a fashion exhibition, as well as any other public place. The rupture of relations loves “silence”, the performance for the audience is inappropriate here.
- Write a candid letter on paper
If you realized that you would never dare to start a conversation about breaking up a relationship, there is one more way to convey information to a partner – in detail, honestly, reasonably dot the i’s in the “old grandfather way” in a paper letter format.
No “soap” No method and zone in the community, it is not possible, it is possible to distribute the space that is available on the Internet. That would be mean and very ugly of you.
- Change roles with the chosen one doomed to a fiasco in love
Before chopping from the shoulder: that’s enough, I’m tired, I don’t want to anymore, brandish the sword of the musketeer, insulted in the best feelings, mentally simulate the situation: he tells you about the break. How will you react, even knowing that the time has come, how will you behave, what will you say. Call for help all that you know about him, his character, temperament, habits, shades of emotions. This will help you to predict the line of his behavior, will facilitate the explanation between you.
- Let go of guilt
Don’t reproach yourself, don’t beat yourself up, don’t succumb to the provocative feeling of guilt that whispers to you: well, what do you lack, endure – fall in love, in general, he is wonderful, but the fact that love is gone, it happens to everyone. Not my pervy, not in the name of the present.
Medieval ideas about what can and cannot be allowed in society have sunk into the past. The modern woman herself is you #e with whom she is and is trying to meet the new man, disc rubers
- Don’t worry about it
We left the most piquant and complex “dish” for you “for a snack”. What are we talking about? Yes, all about the same notorious, proud, noble female restraint. Do not finally try on the role of an angry witch, even if the man went into all serious trouble and told everything that he thought about you during the whole life together. Now he is humiliated, depressed, insulted, his pride of a male is hurt, and maybe the best feelings that he still has for you in the depths of his soul.
Remember, the true queen goes through life among flowering meadows, and not at all over the corpses of enemies defeated in battles. Do not slam the door, do not break the dishes, do not criticize his relatives, do not belittle his positive virtues and do not rinse the dirty linen of shortcomings in the trough of the upcoming parting. Believe me, cook to stay bly juju, good friends, we ited optimal, n and will become bly.
