8 rules – how to behave during a quarrel? In the life of any couple, there are moments when feelings recede into the background, and anger or resentment appears. At such moments, all hidden claims, worries and other dirt come out. Even a seemingly cute relationship can end in a loud scandal if you don’t know how to behave correctly during disagreements.
Women are more emotional creatures, so a strong quarrel with a guy causes them a lot of negative feelings. However, it is worth remembering that sometimes scolding arises over trifles and generally out of the blue. If you do not want to end up alone, you should remember some simple rules.
When you are offended by something, it does not matter to you what your partner says. Most often, people project their own thoughts on the actions of the second half. Simply put, you think out in your head what your opponent thinks of you. And, as a rule, these thoughts are not the most positive. That is why it is important to keep a clear mind in order to soberly assess the situation.
Did he break your favorite mug? Doesn’t close the tube of toothpaste? Throws dirty dishes and waits for you to wash everything? Undoubtedly, all this requires discussion. BUT, perhaps he will meet you halfway, because there are guys who are infantile by nature and see their mother in their partners. Cool down and discard “alien” thoughts – then it will be easier to understand the essence of what is happening.
Without getting personal
There is a wonderful saying: “Wash a cup – think about the cup.” This means that it is worth concentrating your thoughts in one direction. If you are fighting because he forgot your mom’s birthday, then you don’t need to talk about his misdeeds two years ago. The same applies to ladies. In response to claims, it is not necessary to remember all his sins. So you will only fan the flames of the quarrel and not solve the problem.
Undoubtedly, not a single discord in a relationship is complete without increased intonations. But that doesn’t mean you have to rip your throat out to outshine your opponent. First, he will not hear anything, and neither will you. And secondly, would you yourself take seriously a person who yells like a catechumen? It is worth understanding a simple truth – the cry begins where the arguments end. This means only one thing – a strong quarrel with a guy flows almost into a physical confrontation and immensely moves away from its peaceful end.
No to ultimatums
The worst thing, especially for a man’s hearing, is the open blackmail of an offended passion. Not a single conflict should be accompanied by ultimatum statements that will immediately be enforced, as soon as the unfortunate guy refuses the conditions.
To peacefully resolve a quarrel, you need to listen and hear. And if you set your own conditions, this means that the opinion of a partner does not matter to you. And he will understand it perfectly. In such a situation, he has two options: to agree and feel humiliated, or to refuse and fall under “sanctions”. And both options are so-so prospects for continuing the relationship.
Sink into oblivion
It is worth remembering that if you still finished the quarrel, then you do not need to constantly remind about it. This will not only undermine your partner’s trust in you, but also make you insecure. Constantly mentioning how he acted ugly or called you will make it clear that you cannot come to terms with this fact, and you will constantly terrorize him on this topic. Just forget about what happened, making a valuable experience for yourself. Quarrels are not so scary if you approach them correctly. Relationships are impossible without them, but if you focus on the negative, then nothing good will bode for you.
Someone might say that only men should be responsible for what happens in a couple. Like, if they are to blame, then it is necessary to distance themselves as much as possible, make an offended face and demonstrate discontent. However, the secret lies in the fact that it does not matter who decided to speak first. The conversation itself is what matters.
You must understand that if you do not talk and accumulate complaints in yourself, then the result will be deplorable – you will “explode” and say too much. Of course, wisdom comes only with age and the ability to suppress pride too, but if you value your soulmate, then, no matter how much he is guilty, learn to take the first steps. There are, of course, exceptional cases, but now we are talking about smaller discords.
Of course, many people like to constantly step on the same rake. But for the stable existence of two people together, you need to be able to analyze mistakes. Think about what a big fight with a guy gave you. Maybe you learned to understand a friend better and were able to confess your feelings? Or are the conclusions less comforting? All this should be spoken openly, without hints.
Most relationships could easily be salvaged if you partners were able to put aside your insecurities and share your fears in time. Try not to make similar mistakes in the future so that history does not repeat itself again.
The union of two people in love is always a difficult job. You need to learn to listen not only to yourself, but also to your soul mate. Even if you don’t want to do it at all. During quarrels, the best solution is to let your opponent speak, to be patient, to restrain your righteous anger. No need to interrupt and get hysterical – no one can talk forever, so your moment will come to speak out. Perhaps then you will hear something that will radically change your mind and make you immediately cool down and take a step towards reconciliation.
Love relationships are difficult, unbearable, temperamental. But whatever they may be, if you experience strong and tender feelings, then there is a reason to keep them. And for this you just need to forget about selfishness and open up for dialogue. After all, there is a possibility that, even if you emerge victorious from this “battle”, you will lose much more than you would gain by allowing a man to tell everything that worries him.