Acquaintance with a man: 10 main mistakes. What if the guys, although they get to know each other, are in no hurry to continue communication, playing silent? Apparently, pay attention to your behavior when meeting with them, especially if such a scenario began to resemble an endless cycle. These 10 mistakes turn dating a man into a hopeless dead end with no further prospects. What is better to avoid and absolutely not to do when you hear the phrase “Can I meet you?”?
1. Demonstration of low self-esteem.
Trying to evoke pity, whether conscious or not, is a bad tactic. Much more often, women behave this way without noticing it themselves. They look at the men who give them flowers not with a soft grateful smile, but with puppy delight, as if they were given the whole world. Signs of attention are sometimes not accepted at all, believing that they did not deserve them, or fearing that they are simply being flattered. If men compliment their appearance, such girls often respond with phrases like:
- “Oh no, I’m not that pretty, you’re just being very polite to me.”
- “I wouldn’t say that I’m cute, it’s just that the light fell like that, the angle turned out.”
- “Compared to you, I’m just a clumsy ugly duckling.”
- “Thank you, but it’s just a dress that sat down so much, I still have to work and work on the figure.”
And it’s not about temporary confusion or embarrassment, but about inadequate self-esteem. The rule is simple: before you ask for love from others, you have to learn to love yourself. Uncertainty, negative attitude towards oneself are immediately visible. And few of them cause a desire to continue communication.
Acquaintance with a man: 10 main mistakes.
2. Filling yourself with prices.
Some women believe that since they were given attention, they are now a step above the rest. This, in their opinion, gives them the right to count not only on polite communication, interest, but almost on admiration for themselves. This attitude can be traced at once in several points.
Ignoring.
To be a young lady, after whom men run like dogs, is the highest title for arrogant haughty ladies. They sincerely believe that their coldness, along with ostentatious indifference, only provoke men. Although, in fact, guys with adequate self-perception, at the sight of such ambition, lose all interest and quickly go to “simpler” women.
If a young man, after several attempts to get acquainted, receives in return only an arrogant look and a couple of casual phrases, he will forget about such a girl in five minutes. And if she pushes him away at the same time, and then shoots her eyes, he is more likely to consider her strange or mentally unhealthy.
Competition.
One of the biggest mistakes. It is generally accepted that real men seek female attention almost to the very last breath. His or hers. And even if there are three hordes of competitors and another half a dozen. But if you think about it, it’s obvious that no one is obligated to waste their time on strangers. Most guys now live by the principle “No, it’s not.” And this is absolutely normal, because they also have pride and self-respect.
If a girl keeps mentioning that she is in great demand and has already had five acquaintances today, it is normal to expect that a man will find a reason to leave very quickly.
Comparison.
Accepting a bouquet of daisies from a guy who wants to meet you and saying “I remember how they gave me roses, but your bouquet is also nothing” means losing your chances of normal communication with him. People do not like being compared, and this is true even if they win in this comparison. It signifies the presence of someone else, and that someone is claiming their exclusivity.
It is better not to compare men and their actions with anyone at all, especially with people from their past. Even with good intentions, you can stop and say a phrase with an ambiguous meaning that will offend a man.
Tests.
“Do you want my phone number? Then do a somersault/buy an expensive bouquet/fight with that goon/sing a serenade/drink a glass of beer in one gulp.”
A very bad way to keep a guy interested. It is unlikely that he will run to perform a feat for the sake of the one he knows for only 20 minutes. And even if longer, then at the initial stage of acquaintance, he is still not sure that she is worth it. If such requests appear already at the first meeting, what will happen next? You can exclaim “But what about romance!”, But no, this is also a weak argument. Romantic acts are such only when they are voluntary, not forced.
3. Focus on the material.
Another way not only to frighten a man, but also to disgust him with contempt for a woman. If just a couple of questions accidentally touched on a profession or expensive things/hobbies – it’s okay, this is part of an acquaintance. But when almost everything a guy talks about comes down to just the size of his wallet or prestige, things are bad. The most inappropriate questions in this regard will be:
- “How much do you earn? In what currency?”.
- “Can you afford… (something expensive)?”
- “What is your home? He is big? Foreign furniture?
- Do you like to give girls expensive gifts?
- “How much is your phone/car/apartment worth?”.
By focusing on such issues, the girl makes it clear to the guy that she is not averse to living as a kept woman. Even if she was guided only by curiosity, a man can draw the wrong conclusions and stop communicating.
Acquaintance with a man: 10 main mistakes.
4. Busting with women’s stuff.
Women’s magazines recommend laughing at all the guy’s jokes, touching him, biting your lower lip, constantly smiling. And it seems like there is nothing wrong with these tips, but not everyone knows the measure.
What will a new acquaintance think if his couple begins to giggle incessantly over his every phrase? Or if the smile will never leave her face even for a second, even if the fate of starving African children will be discussed at this time? It is unlikely that he will react positively. But naturalness is perceived much better. And related to this is the next point.
5. Acting.
Modern girls want to be anything but themselves. Favorite roles are a sǝxy vamp, a defenseless (weak) lamb, and a lady a la “I myself!”. Not only are serious men fed up with these types, but actresses do not always play for a full-fledged Oscar.
Of course, if there is a desire to get acquainted with a sǝxual maniac who is always and fiercely controlling “daddy” or a weak squishy, these roles will help 100%. For those who want more, it’s time to remember your own “I” and demonstrate it. This tactic is full of benefits.
- It is immediately clear whether people are suitable for each other. If there are serious inconsistencies in the characters and views, awareness will allow you not to waste time on the wrong person.
- Sincerity has become so rare that it is valued almost above all else. Frankness will make a good impression on the guy.
- The starting tone of communication is set. People are more likely to answer the truth if they see that they are trying to be honest with them.
And it is unlikely that anyone will want to pretend all the time in the future, supporting their legend. It’s very tiring.
Acquaintance with a man: 10 main mistakes.
6. Protracted over-patience.
The patience of some ladies is connected with their despair, fear of disappointing the interlocutor, of being left alone. This makes them endure, to put it mildly, not the best men and their antics. Forgetting about yourself, your desires, sympathies is a futile undertaking. Therefore, no girl is obliged to continue a conversation with a stranger who:
- drunk or under the influence of drugs;
- clearly not heard of personal hygiene or neatness;
- behaves aggressively, scares, causes even a slight apprehension;
- abuses obscene language;
- behaves too persistently, even persistently;
- does not know how to communicate, ignores the words of a friend.
This happens from the very beginning or after an hour of conversation – you can interrupt the conversation at any second. Even if a man looks normal, but just doesn’t like it, there is every right to immediately refuse to meet him. But if the guy behaves well-mannered, then let the refusal be as polite as possible.
7. Inability to be a good conversationalist.
Women’s appearance is very important for men. But if there is nothing to talk about with a lady, this makes her uninteresting or suitable only for sǝx scenes. However, the lack of topics for conversation is not the only problem of this kind.
Loquacity.
A new acquaintance is hardly interested in how the girl went shopping last week, how her great aunt is doing, and how much her best friend’s husband earns. A continuous stream of useless information is unlikely to delight a man. Maximum – in a shock coma. So it’s better:
- filter reproducible facts;
- give the interlocutor the right to insert his remarks;
- be interested in him without making a talk show about yourself out of the conversation.
Silent games.
The opposite problem is to expect that the entire conversation will be supported only by a man. If he came up to meet, then he probably wants to know something about his companion. He is interested in an equal exchange of information.
If the young lady is silent for a long time, answers briefly, in monosyllables, the guy will think that she is not interested in him and will go to seek happiness with another.
Take a temperament test
Interrogation with predilection.
“How old are you? What is your mother’s name? What do you do on weekends? who are your friends? Where do you live? At what age did you first kiss a girl? What about the boy?”
A conversation that takes on the flavor of an interview for FBI agents is a complete failure. If a friend has the feeling that he is taking a social survey, the girl’s chances of a successful acquaintance will drop sharply. Let the conversation be more relaxed and situational.
Lack of manners.
Do you want to communicate with a person who interrupts the interlocutor, laughs at his serious answers, deliberately makes obscene sounds, uses abuse? Hardly.
It is not necessary to hold a cup of tea, putting aside the little finger, or to know all types of cutlery. But to show respect with good breeding is the minimum duties of a pleasant companion.
8. Talk about exes.
This topic is quite difficult to discuss even in long-term relationships; during the period of acquaintance, they completely become taboo. Who on the first date wants to hear about old injuries, mistakes, grievances?
Even if the experience of previous relationships was rather positive, there are still pitfalls. Complaining about your ex is bad manners. It’s good to speak out about them without first asking – a way to create doubts in a new guy. He may suspect either a hidden comparison of himself with an ex-partner, or unresolved feelings. Both will negatively affect the conversation.
9. Ignorance of his marital status.
There are many married men for whom flirting with other girls and offering them sǝx is absolutely normal. Moreover, some consider it so natural that they are not ashamed to speak about it openly. If such a situation is unacceptable for a girl, she threatens to find herself in a terribly unpleasant situation.
A simple question about marital status or checking an engagement ring will in some cases save you from a mountain of unnecessary problems and disappointment.
10. Lack of initiative.
This is rather an omission for the women themselves. Not all of them understand how much men respect the ability to take the first steps, to respond to the guy’s initiative. This applies to many things:
- the acquaintance itself, the courage to approach, show interest;
- suggestions for topics of conversation or places to go;
- the ability to make unobtrusive compliments to men, to praise them;
- invitations to the next meeting, exchange of contacts.
There is nothing shameful in this, but you can choose the stranger you like and personally increase the chances of a quality relationship.
Acquaintance with a man is not a clear scheme with specific unchanging rules, but there are some actions that can ruin everything, and with any guy. Fortunately, these mistakes are already known, and all that is left for the girls is to try to avoid them, or at least not to abuse them. But the efforts made will surely pay off with pleasant communication with a worthy young man.
Acquaintance with a man: 10 main mistakes.
