Bored in a Relationship? We all get a little bored from time to time. There is a saying that only boring people are bored, but for me, this is far from the truth. Nobody is insured.
While something shiny and new, such as a promising relationship, is incredibly exciting and a bit hormonally and emotionally like a roller coaster, once we get used to a partner and become a part of our daily life, we may find ourselves a little tired of it or just a little satiated with it all.
This is becoming the new norm. We no longer feel the rush of hormones that we experience at the beginning of a relationship, and honestly, would you like to?
I don’t know about you, but when a new love interest appears in my life, I find that I can’t do anything but look out the window and think about something witty they said, or try to decipher his cryptic text messages. I am definitely not doing any work, and this is simply not rational.
While your boredom can potentially be a sign that something is wrong with your relationship, you may just be looking at the situation from the wrong perspective.
If something seems a bit stagnant, it’s important to take stock of your feelings and take the time to reflect on your thoughts and figure out what’s really going on.
To help you, here are some questions you can ask yourself to help yourself identify the problem and sort out your relationship before making any big decisions.
1. IS IT JUST A RELATIONSHIP THAT I’M TIRED OF?
While your relationship should be a central part of your life, it shouldn’t be your only goal, and you shouldn’t expect all the excitement in your life to come from your partner.
You may not actually be bored of the relationship itself, but you tend to lack incentive in all areas of your life. Perhaps what you really want is not romantic excitement, but general excitement.
Have you tried something new lately? Have you stopped chatting as often as you once did? Are you professionally stumped?
Take a look at your life as a whole and consider whether you are pushing yourself or just by inertia, waiting for a tumultuous and vibrant life to come to you.
Many people get into serious relationships and stop living. Trapped in a whirlwind of blooming love, they lose themselves in their partner and stop focusing on other areas of their lives.
When the novelty of this wears off, they are surprised to find that they are bored and devastated.
So do what gives you the adrenaline you want. You may need to do something radical, like starting that side hustle and bustle you’ve always dreamed of, or getting on a plane and flying to a place you’ve always dreamed of being. Or you may just need to do something as simple as sign up for an evening class or an open mic evening.
If you think you need more excitement in life, find something that you can do on your own, as well as something that you can do with your loved one, to bring you closer.
2. DO I HAVE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS?
Do you know all those Disney movies that you watched as a child? Involvement of princes on white horses, princesses in towers, high stakes and some evil to be defeated, but love always wins everyone?
I hate to tell you kids, but real life and real love are not like that.
You might think that the ideal relationship should be one that doesn’t have ups and downs and doesn’t have to work on it.
You may think that with your ideal partner, you will never have disagreements and should always look in the eyes.
You might think that if they really suit you, the sexual spark should burn as brightly as it did on the first day forever.
It’s just not true, and that’s a good thing since I don’t think anyone is really interested in living in a fairy tale. Too many dragons and evil stepmothers.
All relationships take work, and no relationship is ever completely perfect.
While everyone will have their own love story, most of them won’t be the stuff that movie scripts are made of, and that’s okay.
Ask yourself if you’re bored in a relationship because you think your life doesn’t quite live up to the expectations that Hollywood instilled in you.
While you shouldn’t settle for a relationship in which you’re truly unhappy, it’s always worth remembering that the grass isn’t always greener.
3. CAN I MISTAKE BOREDOM FOR SATISFACTION?
Have you ever thought that what you feel may not be boredom, but just happiness?
Many of us thrive on the drama when things go wrong and live for ups and downs. When everything is going well and we are not experiencing any extreme emotion, we call it boredom.
Could it be that you are just happy with your life but don’t know how to deal with such an unfamiliar feeling?
If you are confusing satisfaction with boredom, you may be misunderstanding the natural development of relationships. It’s okay and great for the thrilling highs and lows you experience at first to subside as you become more confident in each other and get to know each other better.
If you rarely get through the first few months of a relationship, you may have become kind of addicted to the initial rush of emotion, but you have little interest in the quiet satisfaction that a serious relationship brings.
4. WHAT IS THE GOOD THING ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP I DON’T SEE?
Focusing on the negative is another human trait that many of us are to blame. No matter how well we are doing and how lucky we are, we will always find something negative to stop at if we really want to.
It’s time to consciously focus on the positives. Put aside anything negative or not good for a moment and think about all the good things your relationship brings. You can even make a list of professionals if that’s your style.
What elements of the relationship do you take for granted and are you willing to lose it all?
5. AM I DOING MY SHARE OF THE WORK?
It’s easy to forget that relationships are a two-way street.
We may subconsciously find ourselves expecting our partner to do all the work and be the one who keeps the interest, while we passively sit back, doing nothing but complaining about everything that goes wrong and everything. what they don’t.
Keeping any relationship interesting and challenging over time takes effort on the part of both, and that’s a fact.
The reason things seem a little boring maybe because you just aren’t putting in the effort. You are an idle partner in a one-sided relationship.
6. HOW CAN I OVERCOME BOREDOM IN A RELATIONSHIP?
If you realize that you are actually bored and not only misinterpret unfamiliar feelings of contentment, but you know you don’t want to raise the white flag, then it’s time to act and turn things around.
Think about the steps you can take to rekindle the excitement and rekindle the fire. Make time to work consciously. Be honest with your partner about how you are feeling and find out where they are in the relationship.
After all, you are together. It’s not just you. You may be surprised at what your partners have to say.
Be careful, as no one wants to hear that they are tired of the one they love and if you decide you still want to be in the relationship for a long time, emphasize the fact that you are ready to work. to rekindle previously raging passions.
Plan for entertainment, excitement, and all kinds of incentives, and you will be surprised to know what benefits all areas of your life can bring, not just relationships.
