How to make peace with your boyfriend after a big fight?


It is difficult to imagine such a relationship between a man and a woman in which there are no quarrels. People tend to quarrel and make up, but here’s the problem: sometimes not everyone knows how to start the renrim process correctly. Let’s not dissemble, but this is due to the fact that the indicated process is a whole art.

Since Samka is YOUR Personal electronic psychologist, the main task is to teach You the Art of reconciliation from the point of view of psychology. Below you will be presented with a practical guide that will tell you what steps to take so that you can make peace with the man you love.

Non-standard instructions for reconciliation with a loved one after a quarrel

The topic is important, conditionally divided into three key blocks. This is because we tend to avoid general recommendations. Our task is to help you, in your particular case. Only such an approach can be considered the most effective. Each block will correspond to certain stages of reconciliation.

Block № 1: history taking

  • 1st step: identifying the true cause of the quarrel

Look, understanding the underlying cause of the quarrel can serve as a kind of clue.

For example, a man promised something, and did not do it, as a result of which you were offended, and as a natural result – a quarrel. Or the reason may be related to domestic difficulties.

  • Step 2: Identify Key Thoughts and Emotions

At that stage, it is important to “filter”, as they say, the main and accompanying. That is, if we return, for example above, the reason is an unfulfilled promise. Between the reaction, in the form of EMOtion, there is one important component – your thoughts on this matter.

The main one, in this case, will be your thoughts, but the accompanying one is the reaction. So that you understand: it depends on what thoughts arose in your head, and what your reaction will be – with a positive or negative component.

  • 3rd step: identifying the consequences of a quarrel

This stage reflects the actions that accompanied the quarrel. For example, you could say too much, or acted somehow not quite well. Understanding the psychological damage done to a loved one will show the direction towards reconciliation.

For example, if you uttered some bad words, or even worse, somehow humiliated, walking, figuratively speaking, in a sick way, it is important to think about what words or actions you can compensate for and make amends for what was said.

Block #2: Key Recommendations

  • Step 1: Wait for the time

In this case, it is important to take into account the temperament and character of the other person, as well as his individual characteristics. Some men need a certain need to cool off, and your attempts will be in vain, Since a man will simply not be ready to put up.

How to make peace and end a quarrel

Drugs for the muzhchyna, on the contrary, quickly cool down, and they themselves take the first steps towards reconciliation. In this case, it is important to just wait until your loved one comes to meet you. Moreover, a wait-and-see attitude gives both you and him the opportunity to cool down emotionally.

Some people make a fundamental mistake – they try to make peace without waiting for the emotional degree to decline. It is easy to guess that such an algorithm will not only not contribute to reconciliation, but is also capable of generating a new conflict center, which will only aggravate the situation.

  • 2nd step: try to see what happened through the eyes of a loved one

This approach is key, as it allows you to look at the situation through the eyes of another person, and understand his position. And this, in turn, can give rise to the sincerity of the intention to make peace.

It is sincerity that will become your trump card. If you want to see it, you’ll want to know that it’s a little strange in the video:

  • a) the arrangement of the dialogue in a positive way;
  • B) Openness – the other person no longer needs to defend himself from possible attacks, and thus he is ready to hear what they will say to him;
  • c) when a person realizes that he is sincerely understood, he, on a subconscious level, draws closer to another, and this, as you understand, is the right path to the reconciliation process.

Again, understanding the other person minimizes resentment at their reaction. Dopustim, you should wait for the next day, you can do it yourself. If you have the position on the location of the people, and you know, it is up to you, but it is not possible.

Blok #3: The Final Stage of Reconciliation

You can proceed to this block only if, figuratively speaking, you have squeezed the maximum out of the previous ones:

  • you clearly understand the reason for the quarrel, put yourself in the place of your beloved, thus seeing everything through his eyes, emotionally cooled down and clearly understand what you need to say and how to behave so that your loved one hears you for sure.

In this you, as well as possible, will be helped by the following key conciliatory steps.

  • Stage 1: it is important to consider the place and time of reconciliation

We have already said that it is important to understand the individual characteristics of a person. Therefore, it is necessary not only to wait for time, but also to think over the conditions in which a conciliatory dialogue should be started. Maybe it’s worth organizing a romantic dinner, or inviting a man to a place where he will feel…

  • Step 2: Make non-verbal contact

Body language will help you. It is important to remember: your facial expressions, gestures, look should be inviting, not repulsive. If you come to reconcile, but at the same time your gestures will betray nervousness, and your look will be withering and one that makes you want to fall through the ground – do not even doubt, there can be no question of any reconciliation.

  • Step 3: Prepare your monolog in advance

This step is one of the central ones. It is very important to choose the right words that can touch the strings of the soul of your beloved man.

What absolutely cannot be done

We have dismantled the key blocks, and related steps. No, as you understand, we cannot bypass STORon that which is absolutely impossible to do in the process of reconciliation. The third part of the budget is that of the original points, which are not available in the process of premiership:

  • Do not remember past grievances.
  • Do not defend your case in a pointing manner, where a man will play the role of the accused, you will try on the role of the accuser.
  • No complain about a man to friends and relatives, as they say, do not wash dirty linen in public.
  • Don’t play the Snow Queen.
  • Don’t settle for anything that doesn’t suit you. Try to substantiate your subjective vision of the situation as much as possible.
  • Before you decide to involve third parties in the form of relatives and friends to resolve the conflict, think carefully about how appropriate this will be in your particular situation.
  • Do not resort to “cheap” manipulations. A loved one can “count” your insincerity and falsehood, and will close from dialogue.

Again, it is very important to consider how serious the cause and consequences of the quarrel were. If there are regular conflicts in your relationship and against their background there is a “swing” when, then everything is fine, then it is mega bad – this can be a kind of identifier.

It is highly likely that there is some kind of global problem in the relationship, leading you slowly, but systematically, to a complete break in relations. In this case, it is important to seek professional help from a specialist.

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