How to start living after the betrayal of your husband, even if you do not want to… Although family bonds are forged out of love, the foundation of marriage is trust. If the husband cheated, then everything that seemed so strong and reliable turned into pieces. Let’s try to figure out how to live after the betrayal of her husband.
How to start living after the betrayal of your husband?
If there was a betrayal, then understand that not 100% of the responsibility lies with the man. Yes, he betrayed, and your trust is destroyed, but when there is no mutual understanding in the family, it will definitely go wrong. To adequately get out of the situation, you need to take the following steps:
First of all, you need to survive the shock in which you are. Someone at this time falls into hysterics, someone comes into a stupor. It seems that everything, life is destroyed, nothing awaits you ahead. This period lasts up to 2 weeks. To survive it, it is important:
- Don’t make any decisions now. Your main task is simply to survive this period. If you start to act, you will simply break firewood. Let off some steam. Talk to loved ones, a psychologist.
- Read the forums on this topic. You are not the only one. Many women have experienced infidelity. So this nightmare is temporary. It will definitely end.
- Less time to be alone, even if there is absolutely no energy for communication. You can just be in the company of people you like. You should take a seat on the floor.
- Cry out what hurts, and as much as you need. At this time, you will have an EMOtional surge.
Don’t focus on your experiences. It’s not the best helper.
This is a responsible decision. Your future life depends on it. It is not easy, it lasts up to 6 months, lengthening is possible if you have a persistent desire to suffer. It is important for you to decide how to continue to live. Are you ready to forgive betrayal, or will you try to forgive.
Life after betrayal
Most women are unable to unambiguously answer this question. Do not rush. Ask yourself honestly if you need this person, if you imagine him next to you.
If the betrayal is not the first, the husband constantly asks for forgiveness and swears that this will not happen again, then be prepared that you will have to go through his betrayal more than once. Think about whether you need this constant pain. It is unlikely that such a relationship will lead you to happiness.
If the betrayal happened for the first time, the husband sincerely worries, does everything to return the family, think about it, maybe it makes sense and forgive, everyone can make a mistake. To transfer this short moment:
- Free your head from thoughts. “Do not procrastinate” them, but write them down. Self-flagellation did no one any good.
- As long as it is written it is necessary to see it, to the external position in the house. Understand if he is ready for action. Choose your tactics, convey to him what you need, decipher what he conveys to you. A psychologist can help you answer these questions.
- If you have made the decision to divorce
A logical analysis of the situation, meditation will help to survive this difficult period.
This is a recovery period. Ego duration individual. It depends only on you: from a few weeks to several years. Now you are slowly recovering, returning to life.
Your behavior depends on your decision. If you are not ready to survive the betrayal, start collecting divorce papers. If you are not ready to live without a husband, then you will have to work on yourself. Facts about the project should not be seen, and should not. Otherwise, you will only increase your suffering. What does it mean to forgive:
- thoughts do not return to treason;
- at every opportunity not to tell her husband;
- don’t blame yourself.
Consider what advice psychologists usually give for consultations about her husband’s infidelity:
- Talk frankly, not remembering past grievances and claims. Analyze only the circumstances.
- Be sure to dissect the drug or some of the clothes that are distributed. Then find a common solution how to get out of the situation.
- Look during the conversation not swollen from tears, but confident, irresistible, graceful.
- If you find it difficult to talk, then write a letter to your husband. Do not type, write with your own hand, sit, think. Give him the letter. Let him read as he wants, without you or with you. Before you write a letter, analyze its purpose: this is another scolding or transfer of your pain.
- Don’t forget that it’s so great, don’t forget the problem, wait for it if you don’t want it. You know, they can’t be returned. If you have made up your mind, then you should start building new ones, based on the experience gained, having analyzed what the atyla is, why the atyla
- Take on the topic of self-esteem. Conduct an analysis, go for a consultation with a psychologist, learn methods that will help you raise it. The book by Mikhail Labkovsky “I want and I will. Accept yourself, love life and become happy.”
- Avoid prolonged scandals. Aggression will not bring results. You need to throw out the negative of doubt, otherwise it will destroy you, but in a less destructive direction. Do it alone. Also, don’t pity your husband.
- It takes time for a spiritual wound to heal. Pay attention to spiritual, physical, intellectual development, thus driving away sadness. No, that’s what you’re saying, that’s what you’re saying. Withdraw the accumulated money, go on a trip.
- As long as the dialog is in the design, it is written in the original format, so that it is active. Take a vacation, take the kids to their parents, go on a little trip yourself. Atmosfera in the middle of the day is built in a small area.
- Think about changes, about your mistakes, how to eliminate them, how to acquire new qualities, develop yourself. Read the book by Elizaveta Babanova “To Zen in high heels.” The author gives simple and at the same time effective advice to help change your attitudes, your attitude to life.
- Change outwardly. Change your hair, change your style. Thus, your mood will also rise.
- Be happy. As the famous family psychologist Satya says, a woman’s happiness is 90% dependent on herself. If she decides to be happy, then no man can stop her from doing so. You know, nothing happened. Everyone is alive, and even healthy. Learn to take a hit. Scoop up all the troubles and throw it out of your life.
- Save your dignity. If you found out about treason, then do not stoop to communicating with a homeowner, exposing her, collecting discrediting eta f. Be higher even at the cost of incredible efforts for yourself.
- Do not fall into the Russian folk fun: immediately repay him in kind. Of course, this is not difficult, but it certainly will not be a consolation. If you are pushed into the mud, your task is to get out of it, to do everything to forget about this unpleasant. If you have entered into a casual relationship, then you automatically fall from one mud into another.
Cheating husband is a serious situation. Don’t worry about it. Sometimes it is a step towards self-development, change, awareness of one’s strength. Learn to overcome problems, reach a new level of personal development.