I don’t want to take my husband’s last name – I want to keep my maiden one. You finally heard the cherished question: “Marry me!”. And you seem to be very happy, but there is one moment that confuses you. You don’t like your man’s last name. No need to eat and drink before you leave.
By law, currently, you are not required to do so. And no one can force you to change your last name. It is rather a tribute to patriarchal traditions, but maybe not everything is so simple? Namely, it is called by my wife, so that you have a wife and a wife who is born in the family. As if it could add happiness to the relationship.
Why don’t you want to change your last name?
Before you think about what to do if you do not want to take the name of your future husband. Answer yourself the question: “Why don’t I want to do this?”.
- Your last name sounds prettier
Yes, it can be. But sometimes the sound of a surname is not the most important thing. Or maybe you are afraid of becoming the cause of ridicule with such a name. Also, you can talk about two different things and understand yourself.
- No more documents
Many women are afraid to imagine how many Documents they will have to redo after they decide to change their last name. It is stored in the price of the variant, so that it is in the first place. No, it’s dry storage, so that’s what’s going on with the documents, it’s the place where it’s supposed to be. After all, marriage involves joint chores, difficulties and much more, not always joyful, easy and pleasant.
- Echoes of feminism
The world has changed, women have become more independent. And the change of surname, as if it will throw you back into the past, and you will lose your independence and independence. No so li eto na samom dele?
- Feel embarrassed
The family should be by the name of the child and the family, who is there for it. It’s not easy for you to say this directly to your husband.
- You don’t see marriage as something serious
Then the question is much deeper. But is it worth it then, in general, to get married, if thoughts are hidden in the head that this is not forever.
- Do you want to keep in touch with your family?
For some women, staying within their own kind can be very important. For example, you are the last in the family who bears this surname, which means that your children can become descendants and bear legateurs. And if you take your husband’s surname, your lineage will be interrupted.
- You are known by your last name
If you are a well-known person and your last name is a brand, then it would be wrong for you to change it. After all, it is part of you and your work. And if you take your husband’s last name, but you can let them lose their income.
Should I take my husband’s last name or not?
Whatever the reasons, they have a place to be and it is very important to listen to yourself.
Why is it important for a man that his wife takes his last name?
Yes, for a man, changing your last name can be a very important moment. It makes him feel like he’s in charge. For the stronger sex, this is not just a formality, but rather a ritual, recognition of his kind. And when a woman does not want to take his last name, he may feel inferior. This will greatly offend his feelings.
Some men in the men’s team can be laughed at if the wife does not change her last name. In this way the project is carried out by the slaves.
Therefore, if this is a fundamental moment for your man, think twice.
What to do if you want to keep your maiden name
- If you still thought, but do not dare to take this step, you can talk with your future husband and offer him a double double.
Sometimes this is the way out. But not many people are ready to take such a step. Yes, and you may not like the combination of your surnames. Or it might be too long.
- You can cite as an argument for your man, examples of couples in which a woman did not take her husband’s surname, but they lived happily ever after.
Maybe this will let him know that you are taking your relationship seriously and it’s just about the sound of fiania
- The children will have the husband’s surname.
If you discuss this, your man may feel better. Because the continuation of the family will be on his line. And for many, this is the biggest fear.
What does psychology say about the change of surname?
From the point of view of psychology, changing the name of a woman is important. Since you are moving into your husband’s ancestral system. It is also important for your children. So he gets into a single system in which no one rejects anyone.
If a woman does not take her husband’s last name, she is subconsciously ashamed or does not accept him to the end. Children feel it.
There is another possibility that you do not want to identify yourself with your man. Do you want to feel independent. He is he, and you are you. No it’s in the brakes, it’s not necessary to worry about drugs, so that this problem isn’t in the budget.
Changing your last name can be a step into a “new” life for you. This can be taken philosophically and after marriage, really start all over again. Moreover, you cannot know how your life will change with a new surname.
Maybe it’s not the man?
Maybe it’s not him who insists that you take his last name, but his relatives. If you choose to do so, you should not worry about this part of the world. Everything depends on the situation. But it is important to remember that marriage is a union of two people, and if someone else appears, it may already be gone.
It is possible to say that it is so important that the family lives. Then, most likely, you will come to a consensus.
What’s more important?
If you don’t like it, it’s up to you: love or surname? Sometimes this question has to be asked point-blank. It’s parry, which takes it and doesn’t give it to you and it’s distributed. This rather suggests that their personal ambitions and desires are more important than the union.
Loving people will always find a compromise in the current situation. After all, a surname is still a formality, and real feelings are what make you live long and happy.
It is worth remembering that more than one surname makes people close to each other. A good relationship, trust in each other and mutual responsibility.
Maybe you want to change your last name after a few years of marriage. This is also not uncommon in family life. There may come a time when you realize that you want your “ship” to be called by one name.
