Relationships between exes and their pros and cons – what they should be? Quite often there are disaggregations so that in the end you have to part with your partner. Not all that is needed, but then after a while the feelings subside and you start to be practically alive.
But what if the thought that the breakup was a mistake never leaves your head? Is it possible and in this case to try to return everything? And if a man himself says that he wants to start anew? How to react to this?
If you don’t walk around until about
There are a lot of questions and they are not the most simple. In reality, a new relationship with an ex-man rarely ends in something good. As practice shows, the first decision is most often the most correct, but subsequent doubts do not always play into the hands of a girl.
To understand whether it is worth returning to a former partner, you need to find out why you are in general with him. Also interfering soberly her otsini.
Why there is a desire to restore past relationships?
About the same as the price. If you don’t want to live on the power, it’s just a matter of time. To understand whether it is necessary to return to the former man, you will first of all have to determine the source of the positive share. Here are some of the most common reasons why a woman might want to start a new relationship with an “old” one:
- Psychological attachment.
This is probably the most common. This reason is especially common among couples who have been together for a long time or have been married for many years. If it seems to you that without this person, existence simply loses its meaning, then during the relationship, your horizons narrowed exclusively to the life and needs of your partner.
If you find an interesting hobby (for example, one that you have long dreamed of, but could not afford because your spouse was against it) or make friends with an active lifestyle, then going through a breakup will be much easier. And the old relationship will seem like an ordinary experience.
The other side of this coin is a clear abuse of the previous partner. In this case, the Stockholm syndrome quite often occurs, when the victim begins to painfully attach to the left. Then, for a moment, it is up to you and you should try it as a specialist. Otherwise, there is a risk for life to remain under the yoke of a person who does not experience anything. except for sadistic pleasure, humiliating and rotting others.
- Feeling of loneliness.
Relationships with exes. Do you want to know?
If in the process of a relationship you imperceptibly moved away from all your friends or if you do not have close relatives, parting with a man can be a real disaster. And then there is a strong desire to start all over again, as the feeling of complete social isolation is incredible.
In this case, the desire to fix what has already passed is rarely tied to the person himself. Most likely, as soon as old problems begin in the relationship, so the next parting will not have to be paid.
- Low social adaptability.
no where you live. That’s how you see it. Introverts are a prime example. It is extremely difficult for them to make new acquaintances, and they hold on to old friends cleaner than a bull terrier in a fight, because they are well aware that they will not be able to start communicating with someone heart to heart very soon, if for some reason they part ways with this person.
When Such a Girl breaks up with a guy with whom she has been in a relationship for a long time, it seems to her that there will be no more men in her life. This is how and there is a desire to start all over again. However, the reason is not the desire to see the same person next to them again, but fear for their own comfort.
- Failure in new relationships.
When novels fail over and over again, the thought gradually begins to spin in your head, and not to try Mymt will return. However, the absence of new connections does not mean at all that you can no longer get along with any of the representatives of the opposite sex. Most likely, it takes time to get over the breakup and open up to something new. So do not rush to offer to return the old relationship.
- material dependency.
Self-serving background is also a very good reason to try to get along with an ex-boyfriend or husband. And it doesn’t happen very often. Especially if the girl has serious financial and housing problems.
No, the original reason for the breakup is very important here. If the relationship ended due to financial manipulation and material abuse by the partner, then returning to him is not the best idea, even if the person has a lot of money and a high position in society.
- The presence of joint children.
It’s understandable why you might want to get back the man you gave birth to. However, it is better to think several times whether it is worth it. Is it possible to view it in this way? There is no need to rebuild everything just because of a common child.
Stop it when you hear it
To get started, ask yourself a series of questions that will help you understand whether you are ready to go back and try to play a losing game in some other way. In personal psychology, there are a number of points that allow you to look at your desire from the other side:
- Are you in love or jealous? Let’s say a former partner has a new girlfriend. Think about it, isn’t the sense of ownership speaking within you right now? If not, you can safely try to enter the same river a second time.
- What ruined the relationship? Recall every moment that led to the breakup. To start all over again, you need to cross out the past. Are you ready for such a step? If so, then you forget all the old grievances and look at him as a new person.
- Is there trust? This is a very important question if the union collapsed due to the betrayal of a man. When the answer is no, you shouldn’t start a relationship. Otherwise, everything will end with mutual claims, tantrums and a constant waste of nerves in suspicion. When everything is in order with trust, you can start a new relationship.
- What do you expect in the end? Will it be just a light flirtation to restore self-esteem, passionate sex that you have already missed, or marriage for the rest of your days? If the goal is precisely the last Point, then, perhaps, you can begin to slowly restore warm relations with the former.
- Do you need it or is it just a habit? It is quite easy to become attached to a person EMO-rationally, but breaking this thread is already much more difficult. If there are no special feelings, giving the union a second chance is not worth it.
How to build a new relationship with an ex-man?
In this matter, you will be helped by a few effective, but rather simple psychological tips:
- Do not remind your partner of past mistakes. What was in the past should remain there. Everything starts from scratch.
- Don’t listen to outside advice. No fact, that rodstvenniki, druzy and znakomye budget wheel to new. You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone. Their recommendations can be listened to and taken into account, but you should still rely, first of all, on your feelings and needs (unless this person did not commit physical or psychological violence against you).
- Learn to communicate. Sometimes this is what becomes a stumbling block and leads to parting. Be honest about your feelings and emotions. Men rarely take hints and are not mind-readers at all.
- Learn to listen. This is especially important when partners are trying to rebuild their relationship.
- Repeat honeymoon or candy-bouquet period. You probably just forgot why you once fell in love with each other. It’s time to remember this.
Of course, you can start a new relationship with an ex-man. No, it is necessary to clearly understand whether it is necessary to do this at all. Sometimes behind the desire to return an ex-boyfriend or spouse lies a psychological attachment, a habit. In this case, it is still worth starting to live anew and letting go of the person.