What is a platonic relationship? Is it possible to build a platonic relationship in the 21st century and why do it? Such a union causes a skeptical grin or outright misunderstanding among many. In a world where erotica can be seen at almost every step, it is very difficult to believe in something so innocent, disinterested. Moreover, this is not possible if one does not understand the meaning in such feelings.
What is a platonic relationship? Why are there people who still choose these relationships? Is it worth building them and how can those who decide on this type of union do it?
What is a platonic relationship?
A platonic relationship is a type of relationship that is based on spiritual rather than physical attraction. It is an emotional connection without sǝxual contact. Some couples also exclude kisses, long hugs, and other outward displays of love. However, more often partners avoid only any kind of sǝx and petting.
Often, platonic relationships mean absolute love, in which there is no place for jealousy, loud quarrels or demands. Only complete disinterestedness, altruism.
Proponents of such a worldview usually consider sǝx life only an earthly echo of real feelings. At the same time, there is an idealization of the theory, sometimes very naive, a little sky-high. Not all people seeking this type of relationship are fully aware of its risks and disadvantages. Then why does he have his ardent fans?
What is a platonic relationship?
Causes of occurrence.
1. Physical features.
Sometimes people have to settle for a platonic relationship because of injury, disability, paralysis, or other physical health issues. As a rule, if at least partial rehabilitation is possible, then after working on their condition, patients prefer to start or resume sǝxual activity.
Unfortunately, many still have to learn to live with their physiological discomfort. Often they have to undergo restorative or supportive psychological trainings in connection with this. Talking about sǝx is often part of the therapy cycle.
2. Psychological trauma.
Sensitivity and past psychological traumas make you have an ambiguous, and sometimes extremely negative attitude towards sǝx. Some are afraid of it, others are disgusted, others do not see the point in it at all. It is difficult for a person with such a perception to decide on intimacy, he is more likely to hope for platonic love.
Another problem is asǝxuality, frigidity and similar features. Some of them, again, arise as an acute reaction of the psyche to stress. However, there are individuals who have never experienced sǝxual attraction at all, were not interested in a particular orientation. They try to find partners with similar characteristics. To do this, they have their own social networks, mobile applications, closed forums, chats.
3. Irresponsibility of feelings.
What remains for a man in love who is not reciprocated? Even having received a refusal, the person will still experience love experiences for some time.
A similar situation happens if spouses from different marriages fall in love with each other, but do not want to destroy their own families. They continue to love, communicate, but do not dare to develop relationships on the side, which makes their feelings platonic.
4. Distance.
Communication via the Internet, a long departure or a complete relocation of one of the partners for educational, work, family, legal matters makes the relationship become platonic. Of course, provided that the couple decides to keep in touch, and not part.
If the separation is temporary, the sǝx life, as a rule, is also restored. In the case of long-term or, even more so, permanent distance, only a few decide to keep in touch and continue the relationship.
5. Age.
A striking example of a platonic relationship is the purest love of children. The kids walk hand in hand, modestly briefly kiss each other on the cheek, promise to get married. There is not a drop of vulgarity in their relationship. However, as well as understanding the situation. Because of what children’s connections are usually so fleeting, easily forgotten for the “little adults” themselves.
People aged over time lose physical attraction due to changes in the needs of the body. Sǝx becomes an unnecessary part of their life, although possible. Here it just makes sense to talk about a conscious transition to the Platonic level.
What is a platonic relationship?
6. Abstinence.
Personal views, parenting style, even just interest can push people to stop (or not want to start) sǝxual activity.
The most common idea is abstinence before marriage, which is much more common among women. Ladies want to save themselves for the one and only who will become a husband. Therefore, the entire period of relationships before marriage becomes entirely platonic.
7. Religion.
Many holy orders in different religions require chastity. If this does not require isolation, believers can build relationships without sǝx. Often they do not even live together, exclude any bodily contact, including hugs or holding hands.
Platonic (and secret at the same time) relationships arise between people of different social strata, beliefs in countries where such unions are officially prohibited or serve as a reason for public condemnation.
8. Friendship.
Or rather, the fear of losing her. Although former friends can make strong couples, not everyone is willing to take the risk of moving from one level to another. Awkwardness, changing views on each other, misunderstanding of perspectives and other difficulties stop people from changing their status.
A similar situation of this type is one in love with a pair of friends. If a person knows that his feelings are not mutual, he is more likely to keep silent about them in order to maintain ease in communication. It turns out that one of the friends does not suspect anything, showing a comradely attitude, and the other begins to experience platonic affection.
The benefits of a platonic relationship.
1. Checking feelings.
Poor health, bad mood, fatigue, pregnancy are the most common situations due to which couples temporarily refuse sǝx. However, such abstinence need not be arranged only during these contraindications or difficulties. You can test each other just like that, arranging an unusual “sǝxual post”, and at the same time see if you can think of something to do together.
Sometimes the results are sad. The couple realizes that nothing but the bed binds her. However, partners at least have a chance to solve this problem.
What is a platonic relationship?
2. Emotional rapprochement.
Sǝx is not the only part of a relationship, so if it is temporarily excluded, a strong couple will not fall apart. On the contrary: partners will begin to communicate more closely, get to know each other better, come up with alternative joint activities, and develop the romantic part. If the guy and the girl have such a desire, of course.
Refusing intimacy for a short period of time at the same time will add to each other a sweet anticipation, desire before returning to carnal pleasures.
3. Calm.
Platonic relationships are a good way to take a break from tantrums and claims. However, for such feelings, you will still have to look for a person who will be ready to treat a loved one with great patience. And all because not everyone associates this type of relationship with complete acceptance, adoration, calmness, gentleness.
Although it often happens that people for whom sǝx does not play a special role devote a lot of time and effort to spiritual, personal growth. Therefore, they more effectively solve problems in the family, show understanding and care better.
How to maintain a platonic relationship?
1. Take risks.
Despite the purity and good-naturedness of the relationship, the couple can still have problems. The biggest difficulties usually arise with:
- public condemnation, skepticism (“But what about the children?“It’s not normal, it’s not healthy about in”“Have you checked?”);
- misunderstanding of the complexities, an idealized view of such love;
- relapse and arousal (some literally hate themselves for being too about walked kissed with a partner);
- a change in desires, when it’s scary to admit to yourself and your partner that such a model of relationships has outlived itself, is no longer suitable.
Even if at first everything seems easy, romantic, it is not a fact that such a state will last for a long time. It is better for a couple who have decided on a platonic union to look soberly at the accompanying obstacles.
2. Understand who needs it.
If only one of the partners wants an asǝxual relationship, and the second only adjusts or hopes that the whole idea will be temporary, such a couple will not last long. In order for the union to be full-fledged, promising, it is important to discuss all the details together, to take seriously the boundaries set by a loved one. This is the only way to make this relationship truly love, long-term.
If the guy / girl refuses, it makes no sense to convince him / her. It is better to try to find someone with more similar views by applying your idea with a like-minded person.
What is a platonic relationship?
3. Set the rules.
It’s all the same discussion of details. Some supporters of platonic relationships protect themselves only from sǝx, others do not accept any touches other than friendly ones. Is it worth telling others about your type of relationship, how long they will last, what will change in a year, 5, 10, 20 years – these are all important topics for conversation.
If you do not immediately understand mutual expectations from meetings / marriage, you can end up very quickly running into a conflict, a break, bitter memories of what happened.
4. Remember the purpose and benefits.
Why enter into such a relationship? Is there an urgent or at least conditional need for this? What are the advantages of such a choice for a particular couple?
Without understanding the answers, it will be harder to abstain from sǝxual contact – together or on the side. Negligence in these matters will entail breakdowns, feelings of guilt, regrets, and complexes. However, by finding the answers and reminding yourself of the reasons for such a decision, you can successfully build a platonic relationship.
5. Compensate.
If there is no sǝx in a relationship, it will have to be compensated, replaced with something else. This is a search for new topics for discussion, common activities, mutual interests. Ideally – so that there is something to talk about and it turns out to be calmly silent.
Emotional intimacy builds for a long time, gradually. Only after the test of time and difficulties, it does not give strong “kickbacks”, does not collapse / worsen due to petty quarrels.
6. Don’t avoid sǝxual topics.
Just because you can’t have sǝx doesn’t mean you can’t talk about it. People who decide not to sleep with each other before marriage get better when they know it that their partner is also hard not to think about physical intimacy. In addition, there are sensitive topics about (not) being allowed to masturbate, seeing each other naked, about wanting to touch. It is better not to suppress these interests, but to give them an outlet at least in a conversation. Otherwise, there is a risk of getting the “forbidden fruit” syndrome, when all thoughts will be focused only on sǝx.
Platonic relationships still exist in modern times. However, the fact that they are very rare or very often forced is a fact. Nevertheless, they have their advantages, although such an alliance will have to face some difficulties. To preserve feelings, the hard work of both partners, the coincidence of their main life views and principles will be required. These couples get an excellent opportunity to get closer spiritually and emotionally, to get to know each other better, to strengthen their bond.
What is a platonic relationship?
