12 reasons why a guy doesn’t text first

You feel embarrassed and frustrated because you don’t know why he never texts first but always answers when you text him. Wondering if he’s interested in talking to you or if he’s just trying to be polite. To understand this situation, you need to clarify it.

Do you have a relationship with him and he always texts you first and then suddenly stops? Or have you recently met and write to him yourself, in the hope that over time you will switch roles?

If you’re dating and he stops texting you, that could be a red flag.

But do not rush to conclusions, pay attention to the context and other details, because this will help you better understand what is happening to him. No need to immediately rush to extremes, deciding that he no longer needs you. Things can get a little more complicated.

A guy in a relationship might stop texting first when he’s worried about something.

There are internal and external factors that can be responsible for this behavior.

External factors are related to all other elements outside of your relationship (his job, family, friends, hobbies, etc.).

Internal factors are related to your relationship, and it is best to rewind all past events and try to find something unusual in his behavior towards you.

If you are not sure, you can ask his friends to help you with this, but be careful not to overdo it, because this way you can piss him off instead of fixing the problem.

How to find out what’s wrong? To distinguish the outside from the inside, pay attention to his current behavior towards you, body language, if he is frustrated with something, and so on.

Men are very good at one thing – ignoring, letting us know that they are worried about something.

When they get upset about something that happened at work or in the family, the first thing they do is hide in their cave.

By telling you what is bothering them, they are afraid that they will be vulnerable to you. They want to be alone and forget to text, but when you text they will act like everything is fine because they don’t want you to worry about them.

12 Reasons He Doesn’t Text You First

  • He may have other priorities now.

This means that he is interested in you, but at the moment he has other priorities, and after he deals with them, he will return to you.

Other priorities: his job, family, pet, friends or the like.

The most confusing thing is that he won’t tell you what’s going on in his life because he doesn’t want you to worry about him.

He is aware of the fact that he cannot make you his number one priority at the moment until he is done with what he is doing.

If you feel it’s appropriate, you can just try asking him what’s going on in his life and if there’s anything he’d like to share with you.

If he continues to refuse to talk, reassuring you that everything is fine, but he just needs some time for himself, this means that you should not worry, because he will return when everything is sorted out.

  • He is interested in you, but also in others

Similar to the first point, but the main difference is that his priorities are other girls and not some other things he can deal with.

Guys sometimes prioritize how difficult you are.

And, in their opinion, if you behave this way, then you must be that little thing (which does not have to be).

If potential girls don’t make the first move, they’ll likely be prioritized, by the same logic, that they’re not readily available, and he’ll have to text them first to get them.

He will not write to you himself, because he knows that you will do it, and therefore does not worry about it. But that doesn’t mean he’s not interested in you. But he is also interested in others, and it will take some time until he understands what exactly he does and what results he wants.

  • He is not sure how he feels about you

When a guy is insecure about his feelings, he will withdraw, and this withdrawal means he needs time to process his feelings and admit to himself how he feels about you.

Perhaps he was hurt before and now he is afraid of feelings.

He does not want to open up to you because he is afraid that you will take advantage of him, like someone in his past.

That is why he will try not to write first, because it will confuse him even more. But when you text him yourself, he might try to ignore it, only to find out he can’t, and if he doesn’t answer, he’ll ruin everything.

And so, he sends a response, but after a couple of minutes he again finds himself pondering his feelings for you.

It’s an endless circle of confusion, unspoken feelings and anticipation. It is best to ask him personally about the intentions.

  • He does not like correspondence, but he likes you

It may sound contradictory. But the thing is, a lot of guys don’t like texting at all.

They see texting as a way to share simple information, set dates, appointments, or emergency messages when you can’t call the person.

They reason that there is no point in messages that have nothing to do with organizing a meeting.

If he tells you this, know that it is 100% true and you must accept it as it is.

If you try to force him to change, he will feel pressure that he doesn’t need. Just leave it alone and things will get better with time.

  • He’s too busy to think about sending a message first.

Perhaps your boyfriend is a hard worker and the only thing he can think about is his job and what he has to do during the day.

These guys don’t really have time for texting, but if they really like you, they’ll find time to call you back.

They don’t ignore you because they want to. This is due to the specifics of their work, their schedule or all of their meetings.

If a guy does one thing, he won’t be able to think about anything else until he finishes what he started.

  • He plays hard to reach

Exactly. Some guys play this game. He wants to feel wanted and makes you work hard to get him, which is why he deliberately avoids texting first. But he can never answer.

He will always try to answer to give you a little more of himself and make you want more.

This is how some men work. They want you to do all the work while he leans back, waiting to enjoy the fruits of your hard work.

The truth is, if he’s playing hard to reach, it means he’s not that interested. The only person he cares about is himself.

By doing this, he is trying to satisfy his ego and make you feel less valuable. Always be careful with such men.

  • He doesn’t text first because he knows you will.

Some guys are just lazy when it comes to texting. It is not difficult for them and they have time to write first, but they simply refuse to do it, because they know you will take this responsibility upon yourself.

And they stick to this selfishly lazy mode and let you do all the work.

So, he may like you, but he will never write to you himself, because he does not even think about it.

He knows that no matter what he does, you will always get to him first, and therefore feels comfortable in this position of inactivity.

Try ignoring him for a while and he will realize that there is something wrong with his behavior. After all, it takes two to tango, not one.

  • He is afraid of commitment

If he never writes to you himself, but gladly answers your messages, he may simply be afraid of responsibility.

When a guy is afraid of commitment, he will act incomprehensibly and slightly annoy you with things like not texting you first.

There are many reasons why a guy might be wary of commitment. It could be because he doesn’t want to lose his freedom, or he feels like you’re pushing too far into his personal space.

Now you are probably thinking: if this is the reason, then why would he even respond to my messages?

It’s because he’s not 100% sure he’s afraid of commitment, another part of his brain is telling him that he should respond and see how things go.

It’s best to wait and let him weigh the pros and cons of his involvement in your life.

  • He worries that he is not so good at texting

Not all guys are confident and direct when it comes to online communication.

Some guys are really worried about texting first. That’s why they choose the safest option of all: letting you do it yourself. Then they will just respond and hope for the best.

Especially if he really likes you, the pressure will be even higher. You should somehow try to encourage him to be more open to you, and as soon as he begins to feel that he can tell you something personal or ask for advice, he will begin to relate to correspondence easier.

  • He wants to look spontaneous

Unlike playing hard-to-reach, being spontaneous is a different scheme. It means that he doesn’t want to feel obligated to text you when you expect him to.

He wants you to stay at ease and not count how many times he texted you first or how many times you texted him yourself.

Obviously, he is not in a relationship, but that does not mean that he is inspired by you. Although, even if inspired, he can still play with you at ease.

Maybe he was in several relationships before you, and now wants to relax a bit until he gets bored.

He will always answer you because obviously he wants to stay in touch with you, but he also wants you to know that he is not ready for anything big.

He just wants to have a good time with you, but if it develops into something more, he may reconsider his communication policy with you and begin to write first, without waiting for you to do it.

  • He is not interested in you

Some guys are just not interested in you but will respond because they want to be polite.

Additional clues – he answers in one word or finds excuses and excuses when you call to the cinema or take a walk. This is a clear sign that he is not interested in you, but will continue to respond because he believes this is the right position.

Obviously, he is not direct or just afraid to upset you.

Whatever the reason, it’s really unfair when someone gives you false hope.

Again, you can try to stop texting for a while to see if anything changes.

If not, then know that it’s time to leave it and write to someone else who will be very happy not only to answer you, but also to write first.

If your boyfriend is an introvert, most likely, he will not be able to take all the initiative in correspondence at first, his introverted nature does not allow him. Unlike extroverts, introverts have difficulty opening up to others. They prefer to remain dormant until someone knocks on their door/messages them.

There is no need to condemn such people, because it is not their fault. The more they become interested in you, the more they will worry. They will worry even when they have to reply to your message, because they are afraid to lose face.

They want you to understand that they have difficulty opening their inner world to you, and if they respond with some strange texts, it is because they think too much about how to answer correctly.

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