5 Tips for the Perfect Relationship. It seems that Michelle Obama decided to impress fans by shooting in the heart. Her burgundy-colored total bow, chosen for the inauguration of Joseph Biden, looked like the wife of the 44th President of the United States gathered for Fashion Week, and the woman herself congratulated the new head of state so heartfelt that only the most insensitive person would not cry after her words.
For more than 30 years, Michel has been supporting her husband Barak in any endeavors, and he answers her in the same way. In their family, complete mutual understanding and endless love for each other reign. We tell how they achieved this, and analyze what advice the couple could give.
1. Everything passes. This also applies to failure.
In her podcast, Michelle Obama said that sometimes her marriage to Barack got so bad times that she literally wanted to push her husband out of the house. However, the couple understood that this would not help the problem. Later, Michelle noted: any union inevitably faces life’s difficulties, and in these moments, lovers must remain united, remembering what exactly made them start a relationship.
Yes, during the book tour, I said that one day you will begin to understand that you simply cannot stand each other. Of course, it was a joke, but there is some truth in it. It also happened that I wanted to almost throw Barack out the window, that’s true. But I say this only so that everyone understands that the fact that you are in a crisis does not mean that your feelings have faded. Often young couples want to give up because they feel broken.
— quotes her words The Guardian.
According to Michelle herself, she and her husband held on to their relationship to the last when faced with trials – this helped their couple survive. Yes, says Mrs. Obama, sometimes it was not easy, but at the right time, the couple found common ground and looked for ways to improve their lives.
Look, we wanted to separate every now and then, but we did everything possible to ensure that the marriage remained strong. And if I had given up all this at one time and simply gone nowhere, I would have missed all the beauty and all the power that were born in our union later.
2. Treat choosing a companion like you’re building a basketball team.
Michelle is sure: you need to look not for the best partner among two evils, but for a truly attractive partner on all fronts: this is the only way the relationship will withstand any test.
If you view marriage as a team game, treat your partner the same way. All members of your duet must be incredibly purposeful and strong. Let’s take basketball as an example: if you want your squad to win, then be sure to choose not the one who always sits on the bench, but LeBron (LeBron James is one of the leading players in the LA Lakers).
Sometimes people who are unlucky in love are ready to cling to almost the first person they come across, just not to be left alone. Michelle is sure that such tactics are wrong, because how to play with someone whose victory you doubt? Do not give up and look for someone who really suits you – in this case, your relationship will be strong and long.
3. Always be reminded of how much you love each other
In 2020, the documentary “Becoming: My Story” was released, which tells about the difficulties and trials that Michelle Obama and her family faced. Shortly before the release, the woman published a post on Instagram about how important it is in moments when a storm is raging on all fronts, to give support to your loved ones.
Michel reminds everyone who is currently suffering and fighting for their well-being, sometimes you need to hug, and then sympathize with those who suffer – simple gestures carry incredible warmth and support, especially at a time when the whole world is fighting for the right to stay healthy.
Many of you know how much I love hugging. All my life I have perceived the action as something natural, as something that is available to everyone. It is with the help of hugs that one person can say to another: “I am with you.”
Initially, she talked about the importance of support during a pandemic, but this advice can be applied to relationships as well. Look at the Obama couple: in almost all joint photos they do not move away from each other – they hug, hold hands, maintain eye contact. Thus, Barak and Michel show: “I am with a partner, and I will support him in any situation.”
4. Remember Relationships Need Investment
This is not about money or gifts at all, but about the rarest resource – time. The Obama family is sure that it is impossible to maintain an alliance if you do not invest in your partner and do not know what he thinks and what he lives.
Do you want to start a serious relationship with someone? There is no magic way to make everything just work out somehow. There is a work and a practice that you say to yourself: “So, I like this girl, and I only want to be with her. I will invest all my time and energy in our union,” that’s all. Be honest with yourself and your partner, make commitments, and think together about where you both want to go.
Barak agrees with her: as the 44th president notes, he would not have succeeded if he had not remained a persistent suitor.
When I first saw Michelle in the office where we worked with her, I was overwhelmed by her beauty. I invited her on a date. She refused. I kept offering to meet her, but Michelle didn’t agree, because she was my boss then, and she had a lot of work to do. I still convinced her to take a break and asked her out on a date.
Asked by Pod Save America podcast host Dan Pfeiffer, “What marriage-related advice does he have?” Barack responded, “There’s nothing more important than always wanting to hear from your partner. You will spend a good half of your life with him, and therefore it is so important to know what your loved one is thinking about.
5 Tips for the Perfect Relationship.
5. Don’t forget to surprise each other
An illustrative example of how Barack decided to propose to Michelle. For a long time, the couple could not come to a common decision about the wedding: the man saw how his parents suffered after the divorce, and did not want to experience the same thing, but for his partner, marriage was a cherished dream.
Two years after the couple started dating, Barak invited Michelle to a restaurant where he brought up the topic of marriage. Here is what the former first lady herself recalls about this:
When the meal came to an end, Barak smiled, reached for my hand and said that “he loves me incredibly, but still does not see the point in the wedding.” I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks. I almost exploded with anger and resentment, as if I had become a nuclear bomb, which was put on alert.
We argued for a long time, and in the end, a waiter came up to us with a dessert plate covered with a silver lid. I was too angry to even see what was hidden under it, but when I did, I gasped. There, where the dessert had been, was a box, and inside it was a diamond ring.
All this time, Barack diverted Michelle’s thoughts to the side, later to strike her on the spot with his offer, recalls Mrs. Obama. They both adhere to the same rule to this day: a man almost every day gives flowers to his beloved, admires her at any opportunity. Michelle remains one of the few who can make a politician laugh heartily. 5 Tips for the Perfect Relationship.