7 myths about relationships that we believe in since childhood. What could be easier than falling in love? People are happy to start new relationships; however, when it comes to developing them, that’s where the real fun begins. Sit back, grab some popcorn, we’re kicking off the funniest drama series ever. His characters believe that “opposites attract” and that “happy couples never clash.”
US psychotherapist Charlie Bloom believes this is impossible. “Those who believe in these myths are setting themselves up for failure. Such ideals are unrealistic. They usually originate in children’s fairy tales. For example, after watching a cartoon about Cinderella, girls believe in a happy future with rich princes. But are fairy tales really applicable to real life?
Today we will talk about the most common myths about relationships.
7 myths about relationships that we believe in since childhood
Myth #1: “Opposites attract each other.”
This truth is taught to many from a young age. As a result, educated girls grow up convinced that they need brutal men; introverts dream of getting along with extroverts. And guys who love travel and adventure naively believe that they can get along with homebody economic ladies.
“Of course, it’s good to find a partner who would complement you. But the idea that people with opposite personalities will be happy is very far from reality. An introvert will go crazy in half a day in the company of an extrovert; the latter will not endure the boredom of sitting within four walls. And how do you like this plot – the “correct” girl waits all evenings at the window for her faithful bastard? There is nothing more stupid and far from reality than such stereotypes,” Bloom explains.
Myth #2: “People don’t fight in happy relationships.”
This myth, instilled in us through television and movies, is a complete lie. Happy couples don’t bathe in rose petal baths every day; their life is not entirely like cotton candy. “Every couple has differences. A quarrel does not mean that you are trying to connect your life with the wrong person. In fact, conflicts are useful for discussing disagreements, ”says the psychologist. “The most important thing is that you don’t need to condemn and criticize your partner; be diplomatic.”
Myth #3: “A couple should have sex 20 times a month.”
“There is no frequency of sex that can be called “correct,” says Charlie. “Every person has their own needs. If you need intimacy more or less often, talk to your partner. Find a rhythm that works for both of you.”
Myth No. 4. “If in a relationship, difficulties are the wrong relationship.”
People believe that if you find “the same” partner, then everything will immediately go smoothly. But in reality the ideal does not exist. “You can’t keep your shortcomings in check all the time. In the early stages of a relationship, people do it; but gradually negative character traits begin to appear. Both you and your partner have to deal with them. Any relationship requires daily work on them – understanding this will keep you from disappointment, ”explains Bloom.
Myth No. 5. “A wedding or the birth of a first child will help resolve conflicts.”
“Women who have psychological difficulties often do not notice them closely,” continues the psychologist. “And yet they tend to think that a wedding ceremony or the birth of a baby will help change something. Although in most cases, all this only exacerbates the existing problems. To deal with them, you need to look at what is happening between you, within your relationship. And not to look for some external ways to solve problems.
Myth #6. “If he loved me, he would know what I need.”
“Alas and ah. People don’t read each other’s minds. You yourself must convey to your partner what you need. For example, if you want sex, what’s the problem? Tell me about it. Tell your partner if you need more attention and participation in business. Or, on the contrary, a little peace and loneliness. You and only you can tell your partner about your needs – the Pope will not do it for you, ”says Charlie. “Tell your partner something like: “It would be very important for me if you…”. Get your thoughts across, but do so without pressure or intrusiveness.”
Myth #7. “All men (women) cheat”
This myth is supported both by the society itself and by the mass media. However, in reality, not all people are deceivers. “If you continue to believe in this myth, it can adversely affect your relationship. Trust will decrease. You will constantly expect a catch. Do you want a reliable, lasting relationship? Trust your significant other. And always discuss any doubts with her, ”the psychologist recommends.
Prosperous couples from the outside look as if everything is given to them simply by magic. But in reality, good relationships are hard work. Which, by the way, pays off very well, bringing dividends in the form of joint happiness and success in the future.
7 myths about relationships that we believe in since childhood
