Devaluation of a woman by a man in a relationship and its signs. “This time you just got lucky”, “Don’t worry, this is nonsense”, “I know better”… Familiar? The phrases are torn from different contexts, but one thing unites them. Each of these expressions is per devaluation. What makes a man devalue a woman in a relationship? And how to turn the relationship in a different direction?
What is depreciation?
Devaluation is the reduction of the importance of the actions, feelings, ideas and achievements of another person. It manifests itself most often in words. It is most acutely perceived from the one who is considered to be support, support, partner in life – from one’s own.
You are familiar with examples of devaluation since childhood. You must have heard from your mother or grandmother that housework is the most thankless job. A man does not understand how hard it is to maintain comfort in everyday life and raise children. Moreover, these requirements were imposed even on working women.
In the age of dishwashers, such statements sound at least strange.
Life has become easier even with the example of housekeeping. And for most women, the role of the keeper of the hearth is secondary. Have women been devalued less? net. No focus on the word “Deeds” in the name “Feelings”.
Depreciation can often be confused with rudeness, rudeness, inability to carry on a conversation, and even fear. Yes, yes, a man can brush it off because he is afraid to hear something, discuss it. From this you have not become less significant for him, just yet, in his opinion, is not the time for this conversation.
You are undervalued if:
- during the conversation you are constantly interrupted, not allowed to complete the statement;
- do not listen, get distracted, in parallel are busy with other things that require concentration;
- they answer condescendingly, they talk like with a small child;
- immediately reject your ideas and suggestions, give them a negative assessment;
- when you share feelings and emotions, they listen to you as if through force;
- your achievements are not rejoiced, writing them off as luck.
Why does a man not appreciate you? Devaluation in relationships
Resentment, irritation, sadness, loneliness – with what other feelings can you “get out” of such a conversation? When they devalue constantly, it is easy to lose faith in yourself and your strengths, motivation, desire to express yourself. In such circumstances, I want to hide in a corner and lock myself into seven locks. This behavior dictates ours, which does not want to be hurt again.
Of course, one can master verbal aikido and learn how to repel attacks of devaluation. A useful skill, for example, for communication at work or at a reunion of graduates. Is he needed in amorous affairs? Healthy relationships are not a battlefield. Maybe you should look for the reasons for this behavior?
Reasons for depreciation in a relationship
Devaluation in a relationship can be a serious wake-up call. Listen to him more closely and try to understand what is behind such behavior? Perhaps you will see a cry for help, a crippled self-esteem, or simply a lack of alternatives.
Here are some of the most common reasons why a woman is devalued in a relationship.
- Unwillingness to help. Devaluing your problem, calling it nonsense is the same as refusing to solve it.
Maybe because he just doesn’t know how to do it? Or he is lazy. Or he is afraid that with his help you will succeed, and only you will get the laurels.
- Not wanting to know about the problem/situation/your feelings.
In fact, lack of interest. Or refusal to face even with information that not everything is going smoothly. Typical phrases: “Why are you whining?”, “You are always climbing with your problems” and so on. It sounds like a reason to think, but is your chosen one ripe for a serious relationship?
After all, women are not magical nymphs fluttering in an atmosphere of happiness and harmony 24/7. You can be tired, sad, sick. In times like these, you need care and support. After all, you support your loved one when he has a hard time?
In order to select this particular reason for the depreciation, additional “evidence” is needed. It would seem that it is very easy to attribute everything to a lack of interest. But cool down, take a closer look at what is happening. This is a serious accusation. And if a man has no interest in you, then can your union be called a relationship? Maybe it’s a symbiosis? Or is someone using someone?
- learned behavior.
To devalue a woman by is customary in the parental family, and your man simply had nowhere to learn mendev india. He would be happy otherwise, but he does not know how.
Why does a man devalue a woman?
From depreciation in relationships, a man derives personal benefit. Unless he is a psycho-sadist who likes “for the love of art” to mock people, albeit morally. So, what goals is a man trying to achieve when he behaves in this way?
- Bind you to me.
Declaring: “What can you do!” Being around a strong woman is not easy. In the private box, you will hear a lot of words and interests, and there is a card “Possly in the Year”. Suddenly you believe in yourself too much? You decide that you deserve more than him, and you go to someone better.
This reason is very similar to the previous one. A man is not confident enough in himself and his abilities. Agree, it is much easier to humiliate, devalue the One Who is nearby than to do something really cool and prove to the whole world who the daddy is.
Voila! You are already looking at him with admiration. And deep down you even thank him for the fact that he, so delightful, is next to you. And the project you’ve been working on for a few months really didn’t turn out so well.
This is one of the reasons for the devaluation of career achievements, popularity among friends. In this case, rather, a childish resentment against the world, because “she succeeds, but I don’t”, “everyone is friends with her, so-mniko” Here, sincere support for her man will help. He devalues not to offend you. The goal is to reduce the intensity of your own experiences.
What to do if you are devalued in a relationship?
What to do next? There are few options. The first is to just talk, describe your feelings and emotions, find out that your man is devaluing you unconsciously, and try to solve the problem together. The second option is to contact a psychologist.
Of course, your right is to leave everything as it is. Or take a short break to think about what to do next. You may decide to leave the relationship. The main thing, whatever happens around, remember your value and significance. And don’t try to hide yourself from people. After all, sincerity and sincerity are very important and valuable.