Guest marriage – what kind of relationship is it and what are their pros and cons? Increasingly, you can hear that the husband lives separately from the family – how to guide the wife in this case. There is no single recommendation and cannot be. It all depends on the situation, the relationship between the spouses, their motivation and interest in each other.
One of the curious inventions of our time, which gives relative freedom to partners, is a guest marriage.
A man and a woman can officially register a relationship or not put a stamp in the passport. Regardless of their official status, they live separately. Sometimes – in different parts of the city, sometimes – in neighboring apartments.
Partners may decide in detail, jointly educate them. It would seem that a guest marriage should suit many men, because often they become the initiators of similar ones.
However, if you talk to women who have been or are living in such a marriage, it turns out that they see many advantages in such relationships.
How to behave if the husband proposed a guest marriage:
- No suetis, no customary lists and scandals. If your spouse has made a firm decision, try to listen to him and find advantages for yourself. For example, a guest marriage may mean that you do not need to wash his linen, look for socks and ties in the morning.
- Prolonged by the part, not known by other people. This will give you strength and ENERGY to live on.
- Set boundaries – being sincere and kind to your husband, do not let him sit on your neck. It really may seem to him that a guest marriage does not imply obligations on his part. At the same time, he will continue to sincerely believe that you should feed him, love him, pity him.
- Define mutual responsibilities towards each other and towards children. There should be a clear picture of who pays for what, how you spend your weekends, holidays, how you work with children.
If your husband is trying to get away from this point, he probably just, even if unconsciously, decided to dump all the responsibility on you, and he himself wants to enjoy life.
- Try to meet more often, to please yourself with intimate relationships, joint walks, celebrating birthdays, special events.
What is a guest marriage?
- To the fact that is what is happening, not that it is, that it is not possible to do that. Do it. Remember that you are partners, and the only thing that distinguishes you from ordinary couples is that you live (you spend the night, and not always).
Husband decided to
The situation is more complicated if the husband lives separately, because he decided to think about whether you should continue the relationship. In that situation, the ball is in his hands, he can manipulate you, and you risk remaining a victim.
Here is an example – after 17 years of marriage, a man offered his wife to live separately. He rented an apartment nearby, met regularly with his wife, took his youngest child to training, to the doctor. After 3 years, he unexpectedly filed for divorce.
He explained to his shocked wife that he had made a decision and was not going to change anything. All this time, the wife secretly hoped that he would return. In her thoughts she continued to live with him, built herself a castle from fantasies about a happy future.
If the husband offers to live separately:
- Try to understand the reasons, and do it without scandals. Discuss what has changed in your relationship, why he made this decision. Most likely, his answer will be vague. You will have to accept it, because any attempt to insist can turn into a drama.
Remember that a lot of cases when a wife tries to reason with her husband, to find out if he has a mistress, end in unintentional physical violence.
- Analyze your life and behavior. No, it’s possible in the future, so it’s safe to say that you’re interested in it.
Often a desire to live separately from a husband arises when the wife begins to earn more and is constantly on the side of him.
- If you’re afraid of being alone, offer to try living together for a few more months. If he agrees, do not try to be better, it is better to be yourself. Pay attention to the behavior of the spouse, his interests.
- If it happened, and you began to live separately, do not bother him with constant calls, do not follow him on social networks. Soda STORona, give yourself a break. On the other hand, try to streamline your relationship, return life to the direction that you have always dreamed of.
The goal is to give the relationship a new life on a more friendly and acceptable level for both of you.
- In a situation when, living separately from your husband, you realized that nothing binds you anymore, Give yourself a chance to be happy. Do not deceive yourself and him, trying to return the relationship.
Living separately – the wife’s decision
If a husband lives separately from his wife, this does not mean that the decision about this belongs to him.
Increasingly recently, a spouse decides to move to another city or a foreign country in order to realize herself at work, save her children from allergies, give herself and them the opportunity to see the world. Another reason is to check if the relationship is really worth continuing.
What about the husband? He chooses the calm of the past, the orderliness of the familiar and does not want to participate in change. As the husband of One Friend said in a conversation with her relatives: “Let her move, get settled, find a job, and then I will think about moving.”
According to statistics, in 90% of such cases, spouses are waiting for a divorce and a mutual decision to stop being a couple. The reason is that in order to save in such a situation, you need the desire and terrible effort of both partners to support.
Most often, partners try to maintain regular contact, visiting each other only at the beginning. After 6-8 months, a new life appears, and no matter how hard one partner tries, the second opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens opens.
As a rule, it is the same wife who makes the effort to save the relationship, despite the fact that it was she who initiated the move or temporary separation. Relations with her husband and family are important to her. Now that the world is growing, motherey sea, destruction of life.
In a situation where the husband has remained, in fact, in the past, the following can be recommended to the wife:
- With strong loneliness and the desire to stay with your spouse, try to maintain relationships. Regulated two, divided into new languages, prepared on common projects by the year, for this video.
Please do not hesitate to contact us in real time.
- Negotiate the terms and conditions of the reunion and follow the plan. The worst thing will be if the parties hang in suspense, they cannot agree on when the husband will move to his wife or Linsene or Linsene.
- If passion, feelings have faded, and you understand that the true reason for leaving is the fading of feelings, it is better to talk about this with your spouse and sort out the relationship. As a rule, the realization that there is no love comes with time.
At first, partners struggle with this feeling, and then they give up. At first, when the relationship is not yet clear, it is better not to break them, to continue to communicate. However, as soon as it becomes clear to you that you are humiliating yourself, deceiving yourself, find the strength to dot all the i’s.
Not too loud in the room, it’s time to talk about it. The main thing is to be able to maintain relationships, not to exhaust each other with jealousy, resentment and aggression. The only way to do it is to have it in the new world, to use the road and to do it, so that it isn’t.