Men and women perceive love relationships differently. If you have long been thinking about when, finally, he will propose to you, your young man at this time may not even think about such a development of events. It is natural that you begin to look for problems in yourself, think about what is wrong with your appearance, what personal qualities seem negative to him, what to do to change his behavior and attitude towards yourself.
It begins to seem that time is moving inexorably forward, and all your chances for a successful marriage are rapidly reducing Not the tortoise is the dog that wants it or not. To begin with, it is worth understanding the reasons for such discrepancies with expectations, the peculiarities of male nature and ways to change the situation for the better.
How much does it cost to wait for an offer from a man?
Surely in the field of your communication there are friends who were more fortunate. They met a young man who fell in love with no memory from the first minutes and almost immediately
Your “trial period” dragged on much longer, and everyone around strives to hurt the sick with questions about when they will “finally” take a walk at your wedding.
No torpedoes should be given on the horse, so that there are no other objects on the ground. If they do not develop, it is pointless to wait for proposals:
- you live separately;
- rarely see each other;
- mostly spend your free time separately (for example, in the company of friends);
- you have few or no common interests in principle;
- you do not share plans for the future and so on with a friend.
As strange as it may seem, quite a few couples have been in this status for quite a long time. If your relationship has become truly family, and only the absence of a stamp in your passport distinguishes you from registered couples, this is already a reason to think about the future.
According to an expert on family relations, social educator Olga Shefergir, a year is enough for a man to finally decide whether he wants to see you as his wife or not. If this is the moment that you want on that day, then you can:
- satisfy all his basic needs;
- you correspond to the idea of a lawful wife;
- you know when he needs solitude or the company of friends, you do not impose your company;
- you look great and always instill confidence in him;
- You are interested in his success and do not pester with endless talk about a new collection of clothes, makeup secrets and other women’s topics.
If next to you he is successful, grows personally and professionally, feels like a real man, after a year it is natural to wait for an offer.
How long to wait for an offer from a man?
Find out why there is no dynamics
Of course, you can put the question point-blank and ask about the cherished offer in the forehead. However, in this case, the man prefers to avoid a serious conversation. Discouraged, on and afraid to offend you, and think about the future so seriously himself. Think for yourself how strong your union will be if you simply force him to file an application with the registry office under the threat of a break or other blackmail.
Choose a good time for a confidential conversation, create a relaxed atmosphere. A man should not be tired, come after work, or be angry because of a bad catch or a lost football match. Your goal is to find out how much you correspond in his eyes to the role of a legal wife.
If you rarely or never quarrel at all (it is often in conflicts that partners express dissatisfaction with each other about shortcomings), this does not mean that you are an ideal candidate for the role of a wife. Unobtrusively and carefully find out from him what he likes in you and what is missing.
Perhaps you didn’t even think about how much it offends him that you don’t praise or support him, don’t kiss him in the morning and are not interested in what he would like for dinner. Having learned about the problems, you can safely start working on yourself if the relationship with your partner is more expensive than your efforts.
When the expectation is justified
At the same time, do not forget that there are objective reasons not to propose to you. For example, if you dream of a magnificent wedding and declare to your partner that you are not even considering other options, it is possible that the guy is forced to simply save up funds to make your dream come true.
If you are in the field and by the way, it is not possible to contact with the rods. It is not excluded that he faces a difficult choice – either you or the family. Each such problem should be considered individually.
When you should not wait, but leave
Sometimes, no matter how strong feelings you have for a man, the relationship is doomed to failure in advance. Next to a narcissist or an abuser, you can simply turn into a punching bag. If there is only one place to live:
- physical or mental abuse;
- lack of a feeling of happiness and carelessness next to him;
- fear to declare their rights and desires;
- suppression of any of your initiatives with his STORona and so on.
It is unlikely that you are ready to live in such conditions for the rest of your life. No duma, that’s what you do next. Probably, the Situation will only get worse, because you will find yourself connected to something big, and you won’t know that you just won’t get away from it.
Why is waiting dangerous?
Your constant hope for a long-awaited offer does not go unnoticed for health. Keep this in mind when you believe his empty promises, you seek to change his attitude towards you, or you are simply afraid to declare your desire. What is the danger of tedious waiting:
- development of neurotic states;
- decrease in self-esteem;
- inability to fulfill oneself in various spheres of life;
- deterioration in relationships with others;
- premature aging and more.
The most important thing that such relationships are dangerous for is the rapidly developing distrust of men. Even leaving such a union after a long time in them, there is no guarantee that you will be able to become happy in the near future, build harmonious relationships with another partner, and simply show your femininity.
You will become suspicious, demanding, unconsciously begin to seek to suppress and humiliate the man who is next to you, just because you had such an experience in your life. Imagine how many decent guys will be disappointed in you, how many chances for a happy life you will miss.
Think about whether you really want to tie the knot with this particular person, or if you just want to amuse your self-esteem, is it really so pleasant for you to be with him, and with what probability this trend will continue in the future. Be honest, first of all, with yourself. And only then do certain conclusions, make demands on your man.