How Relationship Attachment Types Are Linked to Childhood? In melodramas and romance novels, relationships are like a fairy tale. Young people feel mutual tenderness, kiss, hug, hold each other’s hands, and this continues day after day. In short: they are happy. In real life, things are quite different. Few couples can boast that they are really doing well.
The course of the novel depends on the character, moral principles and the ability to love and trust the soulmate. Types of attachment in relationships are the basis of the interaction of partners. Psychologists say that from an early age, qualities are formed in a person that affect love relationships with a soulmate in the future.
The Kid Who Was Avoided
The avoidant type of attachment in a relationship manifests itself in a partner who does not fully show his feelings and emotions. He is overly restrained, emotionally closed. Usually, such qualities are observed in a man. The guy rarely, or never, talks about his feelings, shows little care and attention to the girl. At the same time, the partner is quite sociable and sociable with other people.
The reason for this behavior is the lack of attention and love from the mother in childhood. The child was often left in the care of other people. They cared more about material security than about spiritual intimacy. And so a sensual, vulnerable cracker grew up, who will never reveal his feelings, will not ask for forgiveness, will not show how much his partner is dear to him.
The girl is a crybaby
The anxious type of attachment in a relationship is more pronounced among the fairer sex. A woman is constantly disturbed by a gloomy foreboding and negative thoughts. It seems to her that at any moment they can stop loving her, leave her, change her, hurt her. Such young ladies spend day and night as a detective, studying the page of their beloved: who liked him, who was added as a friend.
The girl literally strangles the man with her obsession and inadequacy. She is constantly worried about the feelings of a man, about his love for her. Sooner or later, her panicked state negatively affects the course of the relationship. A man with great relief gets rid of a nervous young lady. The gap strongly and painfully affects the partner. Her condition experiences all the torments of hell, and life loses all meaning.
This behavior is typical of girls who parted with their mother in early childhood when going to kindergarten. The parent did not adhere to one line of education, she could reward and punish for the same action. This gave rise to a feeling of anxious anxiety in the growing little man: what if everything goes wrong, and now she makes a mistake, which will be followed by punishment?
A chaotic type of attachment in a relationship is inherent in members of the opposite sex. Both a man and a woman can bring confusion into a love affair with unexpected outbursts of feelings or indifference. Such individuals do not know what they want. They perfectly demonstrate in reality the proverb: “Together closely – apart is boring.” They are overcome by a range of the most conflicting feelings and emotions. In a variety of situations, partners explode like a volcano, not understanding what is really happening to them.
Usually, children who have experienced rough treatment from their parents in deep childhood become unpredictable people. It does not necessarily mean physical punishment. Ignoring the needs of the child and indifferent treatment of the mother to the child are the cause of the unpredictability of a person in adulthood.
Proximity and warmth
The safest type of attachment relationship is built in those people who in childhood maintained a warm and close relationship with their parents. The child was upset when parting with his mother and rejoiced at her behavior. The rest of the time the baby calmed down, was distracted and calmly waited to be taken away from the kindergarten.
In such a pair, the partner knows how to wait, trust, forgive, support and love a soul mate. If the relationship does not add up, then having survived the break and the “time of sadness”, the subject is full of strength and ease to start a new relationship, leaving the negative in the past. He speaks respectfully of his former partners, while treating his current soulmate with love and awe.
Love will fix everything
You should not assume that all types of relationship attachment are negative, compared to the “safe” type. Every relationship is good in its own way.
Representatives of the avoiding type give the partner a certain freedom of action. They do not hang around the neck of a life partner for 24 hours in a row and give the right to do any business and yourself.
With an anxious type, the partner is completely absorbed by the second half. In addition to “suffocating” feelings, a person knows how to express warmth and concern for the “object of adoration.”
Guys and girls who belong to the chaotic type of relationship attachment are remembered for a lifetime. Their romance is filled with emotions and vivid impressions. With such partners, you will definitely not get bored!