How to contain emotions in a relationship, not yell and stay calm? Sometimes, in order to come to a compromise and understanding in a relationship, you need to take control of your emotions and not let them control your behavior and words. No how to do it? Is it possible to learn to restrain emotions and how does this affect a person?
Should Emotions Always Be Restrained?
Emotions are a person’s reaction to the impact of certain stimuli, which can be both external, tamitra.
From the point of view of psychology, there are no bad or good emotions – Each of them is a certain signal of your subconscious. You can’t “turn off” negative EMOs and still leave positive ones.
However, it is not necessary to do so that there is space and radiation. Relationships are a safe environment in which partners can share both good experiences and bad ones.
Ignoring problems and suppressing emotions leads to nervous breakdowns, constant irritation, psychosomatic. Human emotions are like a spring. You can squeeze it for a long time, but the more you do it, the worse the consequences will be.
In a relationship, it is important not to suppress emotions, but to be able to convey them constructively, without destroying trust.
How to learn to control emotions?
To take control of your experiences, you need not to drive them deep into yourself, but to learn with gnimirdasivato “. To do this, you need to develop awareness and learn to hear what your subconscious mind is telling you.
Recognize the trigger
Each person has situations that most often piss him off. Usually these are small recurring conflicts. For example, a husband does not clean up his mug day after day, or a child constantly throws a backpack in the middle of the corridor.
These are specific situations that cause you to have a negative EMOtional reaction. When you realize this, then:
- you will be ready to control yourself and emotions will not suddenly flood;
- reduce the intensity of negative experiences;
- You become aware of priority tasks – problematic situations that need to be dealt with or changed so that they no longer have a negative impact on you.
How to control emotions healthy?
If an emotional reaction arises from scratch, you break down into some minor trifles, you have constant irritation, then perhaps it’s not a relationship at all. The reasons for this reaction may be:
- chronic stress;
- EMOTIONAL VOICE;
- general dissatisfaction with the partner;
- feeling tired or physically uncomfortable.
If you have no triggers, and negative emotional reactions seem to haunt you, this is an occasion to analyze your life, understand what causes stress, fatigue, dissatisfaction and change something.
Recognize the meaning of EMOtion
When you feel anger, resentment, sadness, instead of holding them back, you need to understand the reason. Are you aware of a specific situation or stress and stress?
If the problem in the specific design is the same as for two partners, it is not possible to do so. It’s better to ask yourself what your emotion is telling you right now:
- sadness is a signal that you are aware that you cannot get what you want, it is an acute frustration of a particular pnotry. Sadness comes when you realize that something is lost, lost forever, that you can’t change it;
- envy is a signal that you want what the other person has. He is not bad, he was just able to satisfy a need that you have not yet realized;
- resentment – appears when a loved one did not do what you expected from him;
- contempt – an attitude towards a person with whom you have fundamentally different life or world records;
- fear – awareness of the presence of a real or imaginary threat to security both for you and for your loved ones;
- It is possible to say that it is signaled to you, so that you are prepared to give it to yourself and two people.
For example, you might get mad at a child who jumps on the couch. No potomu, it is necessary for you to protect it, a potomu, it is one of those people who are interested in it.
Instead of being angry at a jumping child, understand “I probably just want silence, and jumping bothers me. How can I get what I want?
Once you understand the cause of an emotion, you can find a more environmentally friendly way to process it. For example, instead of envying a person who got an interesting job, set a goal and realize it, that is, find such a job.
Speak your emotions
To control your emotions, you must first learn to be aware of them. Not everyone has this skill. Sometimes people think that they are angry, but in fact they are afraid.
For example, a child ran out onto the roadway, his mother grabbed him in her arms and began to scold him. No on that moment it is not necessary to do so, and it is necessary to move. He caused an adrenaline rush, and aggression is one way to throw out this adrenaline.
Therefore, in order to contain EMOtions it is important:
- realize what you are experiencing now and why;
- verbalize emotion, that is, name it;
- explain it to a loved one – “I just yelled at you because I was scared for you.”
Take time out
The best way to pull yourself together in an EMOrational situation is to get out of it. Give yourself a couple of minutes to collect your thoughts, understand what you are going through right now and why. Offer to stop talking for a while.
Go out into another room, be alone with yourself, concentrate on your breathing, sit down – vigorous activity will help you relieve emotional stress. Sometimes just 5 minutes is enough to regain lost self-control.
At this point, it is important to explain to the partner that this is not defiant silence or ignorance. Just say that you need time to collect yourself, and then return to this conversation.
Support the nervous system
The best way to learn to contain emotions when necessary is prevention. A person controls himself when he is in a resource state, and his nervous system is not exhausted. For this:
- do your favorite sport – it increases the level of endorphins, which helps to cope with negative pitfalls;
- walk in the fresh air;
- take care of proper nutrition;
- learn to fully relax and recuperate;
- stream to social and professional samorealization;
- engage in creative activities – this is a good way to sublimate your negative experiences;
- listen to your favorite music more often;
- Take time to be alone with your thoughts.
Suppression of emotions negatively affects relationships. Instead of Ignoring What You’re Going Through Now, It’s Better to Accept Your Emotions, Become Aware of Them, and Understand What They Want to Tell You.
Tolko prizes it and “uslyshav”, it is called nait bolee konstruktivnyi sposobdonesti svoe relation to another check. If you listen to it, you should say it and sign it.