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There is nothing wrong with an attachment that develops in a healthy relationship. It reflects love, the desire to take care. No, it is private, no matter what, it is not necessary. How to get rid of the person to whom you have become attached?
What is an unhealthy attachment?
Remember if you had a relationship in which you felt broken, felt ashamed, could not say what you really think, and at the same time continued to support them with the stubbornness of a mas0chist. You left your beloved, returned again, asked for forgiveness, followed him in reality and social networks, tried to control his actions.
I hated myself for it, but, having tried to end the relationship, I experienced literally physical pain and again. All signs point to an unhealthy attachment that has formed in relation to a man.
You may think that you love him, but in reality it is an addiction from which you cannot
Proceed with the form of non-proprietary rights in terms of the required algorithm:
- At some point in time, you become weak.
Perhaps your boyfriend left you, you lost your job, all sorts of troubles fell on your head at the same time. Or you just have nothing to do, and you dream of the love of your life.
Against the background of all these events, you internally experience self-doubt, emptiness, do not believe that the situation will ever improve, you are afraid of the future.
- And then a man appears on the stage – your savior.
He lives life to the fullest; he is happy and cheerful. You know, it’s not enough to tell you, you know, you’re in the comfort of it.
- So you’re tired, that’s what you’re saying, that’s how you live and that it’s active.
A young man (friends, girlfriends) is satisfied with your position as a victim, and on begins to use it. He is inspired by the fact that a person has appeared who admires him, runs like a dog, is always ready to do what he asks.
In order to protect the engine and not by the overpowered manipulator. However, he accepts your affection and does not want to frankly say that he does not need you.
attachment theory
- For your part, you first experience admiration, and then you realize that not only can you not recover after talking with a guy, but you feel worse every time.
You try to break the cycle of addiction, but you experience something like withdrawal and you become attached even more.
You can become attached to a partner, children, girlfriends, absolutely strangers. No in this position the focus is on other things in the way of the people.
How to Emotionally Disconnect from a Person?
The circle of formed unhealthy attachment is difficult to break. This requires careful, daily work on yourself and on relationships. We present a step-by-step process that is needed to get rid of a person.
- Awareness of unhealthy attachment
Forgetting about all your affairs, interests, friends, you rush to meet a new acquaintance. You don’t sleep at night. You change plans. Everything inside you is churning. There is only one thought in my head – how happy you are to meet him.
But the meeting did not take place – he forgot, could not warn. Or it was, but with all his appearance the young man showed that for him it was so – a chance meeting. As a result, you go home broken, disappointed. However, you make excuses for your boyfriend.
Instead of justifying him, forgiving him, analyze what happened.
- The young man took advantage of your real or imagined passion.
- He does not appreciate you or does not understand at all what you want from him.
- You feel humiliated and trampled because you feel that you have done something against your nature.
Record the thoughts and feelings that arise. Proanalyzed, it is necessary to contact with this parameter. Most of the drugs are factors, which will be on two of the same.
If it is obvious that problems arise only after communicating with one person, then accept this fact and readlet.
- Rupture of attachment in imagination
To get rid of the person to whom you have become attached, you need to try to break the dependence on him. In this case, the price should be paid in terms of price and realism.
Let’s start with a mental exercise.
In peace and quiet, imagine yourself, your partner, and the fact that you are connected by countless threads. They can be thick or thin. Draw them in the form of fishing line, twine, rope. The main thing is to vividly and fully represent them in your mind and not to lose the image that has arisen.
Now take your scissors and cut all these threads. Make sure that there is not a single, even the thinnest thread between you.
Repeat the exercise every day until, imagining you together, you see that nothing binds you.
Another exercise is to imagine how your young man flies away from you to another continent. You hardly ever see each other. And you just let it go.
- Breaking attachment in reality
Getting rid of a person mentally, do not forget to work with reality.
Post for a non-scheduled time and method and method:
- Whatever happens, don’t date a young man for a week, two weeks, a month. Let him invite you on dates, parties, come up with activities that you will do.
Well, if you really will do something, and interesting. Among the interests, you should be aware that you are new to the world.
- Don’t keep the guy’s stuff. Give them to him or hide them.
- It is better to delete or archive messages from him so as not to read them every time, looking for signs of his “true” love for you and not learning them by heart.
- Don’t worry about that street in social and ignore the public. If you can’t, don’t visit social media at all for a few days.
Yes. This is hard. But only by making an effort you can free yourself.
- Encounter with new opportunities
Force yourself to get out of the house, move. Go on a little trip, sign up for courses. No think that you don’t have time. It is quite obvious that even if you have a lot of work, you will spend half a day thinking about your boyfriend.
Try to live consciously – do not soar in the clouds, do not invent that suddenly a young man will suddenly appear on tweets. Watch what is happening around, look at nature, architecture, people. Enjoy the flavors.
Consciously living reality allows you to replace attachment, fantasies and fears with real experiences.
If you want to protect yourself from the new and prevent the polarity of the adrenaline. No way is in the room where the room is.It will help you feel free.
- Openness to new acquaintances
For a person who is in an unhealthy relationship, meeting new people can be a shock. He refuses to go to discos, movies, parties. Deliberately builds a wall around himself inprobably.
To get rid of attachment, you need to break the fortress around yourself and allow yourself to get to know people, listen to them, admire them. So you will see alternatives to communicating with one person, you will meet those who will help you get out of addiction.
There is a chance that at the same time you will meet a person whom you will really love.
