How to get out of a destructive relationship in 6 steps? You began to notice that your relationship does not bring you the former joy, do you feel that it has become difficult to communicate with your chosen one, a lot of grievances and misunderstandings have accumulated between you? If you want more than that, do you want to know about it?
What is a destructive relationship?
In fact, in every relationship there are crises and periods of stagnation, When it seems that there is nowhere else to move together with a partner. However, the alarm should be a relationship in which you live as if not your own life, when you no longer feel the support inside yourself.
In a destructive relationship, you lose your bearings, succumb to the influence and pressure from your partner, ceasing to understand that your life depends only on you. Be careful with the classic model “victim – manipulator (aggressor)”.
If you want to know about the part, two of the interests and views are full. At first, it seems to you that you are such two halves of one whole, but over time it only becomes clear that it’s not scheduling.
How destructive relationships manifest themselves:
- Lack of emotional intimacy.
It seems that relations are developing, but feelings seem to have frozen at some stage. There is no convergence of souls. The partner is nearby, close, you spend a lot of time together, but the feeling of kinship does not come.
- Constant criticism.
Your chosen one is not able to pass by you, so as not to express some displeasure. On no account in this project and will vary by those who do not know how to do it. These can be everyday moments, questions of appearance or criticism of actions.
- Multiple restrictions.
In the event that your partner decides where, with whom you should go and whether it is worth going at all, if he controls with whom you communicate, what you are fond of and what you want; you should understand that such relationships are destructive. It is difficult to be in them and you certainly cannot call them healthy.
- Frequent conflicts.
Rare conflicts are even useful in relationships, so the constant struggle and tense situation spoil even the strongest alliances. If you do not know how to negotiate, hear each other, are not able to constructively resolve misunderstandings, your relationship is destructive.
How to end a toxic relationship?
- Emotional or physical aggression.
If you notice an outburst of aggression from your partner, you should think about whether such a reaction is acceptable for you. After all, If a person starts to Shout, insult, and even worse, use physical Force, It is hardly possible to talk about Love As Such. Warm feelings are not compatible with intemperance and malice.
- Total ignorance and indifference.
Even if there are no big conflicts in your relationship, but the partner doesn’t care about your comfort, your desires and needs, it’s definitely impossible to call such a relationship strong and good. Indifference is the most terrible weapon that drives you crazy and destroys a loving person.
What are the consequences of being in a destructive relationship?
The only way to arrange the character is not in the case of the following:
- Emotional depression;
- Apathy, depression;
- Decreased self-esteem;
- The emergence of chemical, food addictions;
- Doubts in their abilities, in their adequacy;
- Deterioration of physical condition;
- Persistent dependence on a person (codependence);
- Closure, cessation of communication even with relatives.
6 steps to get out of a destructive relationship
The most important step is realizing that you are in a relationship that is destroying you. Often, it takes a long time before people begin to realize this. If you understand that relationships are not normal, you are bad at them and you are ready to change it – you are already on the right track!
It’s all that’s common, but it’s still there. To do this, take a piece of paper and a pen. Write down the pros and cons of your relationship. Below, write down the feelings that you have been experiencing lately for your chosen one.
Answer the following questions: “Are you comfortable around your man? What feeling does it give you? Are you safe with him? How do you like one? Can you be on your own?” When writing answers, the picture of reality will become clearer to you.
The preparatory stage includes the development of a plan according to which you will move forward. Everything is intertwined in your lives, there are habits, some traditions, principles. It is difficult to take and just change everything overnight.
Think over to the smallest detail how you will live in the future. If you have children, shared living space, you should understand how to resolve these issues in the most environmentally friendly way for all family members. Don’t bother prositing your pets and rodents.
Moral preparation is equally important. Deciding to take a brave step and end a relationship requires no small amount of fortitude. However, you should focus on your life, it’s time to think about yourself. Understand that in a destructive and toxic relationship, you will never be happy.
- Decisive step.
The most difficult thing is the key conversation in which you put an end to it. You can’t predict a person’s reaction. If your chosen one has ever shown aggression, it may not be worth informing him of the breakup in person, so as not to face aggression and violence.
If there is no feeling of fear, talk about parting clearly, confidently, but not rudely. Tell us what inspired you to make this decision and thank you for everything you’ve been through together. Do not talk about the negative qualities of the chosen one, try to talk in a positive way.
After the conversation, you should not agree to meetings, because the partner will most likely try to blame you. It is better to ignore and communicate only on everyday issues that relate to children, agreements, further fulfillment of obligations.
- Pain living.
Then you should try to avoid negative emotions, which you will have to deal with. However, it is worth doing it without harming yourself. No try to hide the pain or drown it out. You need it to heal. I want to cry – cry, I want to throw out aggression – beat the pillow or load your body with sports.
Set a time limit for how long you can actively grieve. Let’s say it will be 2-3 weeks. These days, allow yourself to become limp, relax and grieve to the fullest. A word that sounds like this, which means that it is in Ruki and in the middle of the word “carabice” is written.
This is a long and difficult stage. The pain of loss will likely linger for a long time. On is rather associated with codependency, as well as with collapsed dreams and plans. However, often, leaving a destructive relationship; after a while, a person experiences lightness, relief and gains a sense of inner freedom. Remember this!
This stage can be difficult primarily because you have forgotten all your true needs and desires so much, you have forgotten how to set goals and love yourself. That is what you will have to re-learn at the stage of rebirth.
Your task is to know yourself, learn to hear your inner voice. But the most important thing is to satisfy all your needs, to allow yourself to be the main thing for yourself. The first steps are usually given with difficulty, but this does not mean that you do not succeed. A small victory is already a victory.
And in order for the scenario of the relationship not to repeat, and you no longer fall for the bait of toxic relationships, it is worth working through your psychological trauma. After all, there is a reason why you chose such a person.
During this period, surround yourself with the most dear, loving people. You are in the right place in the room, it is the name of the game Events should also be filled with only pleasant moments.
Travel, enjoy, get carried away, breathe deeply. And remember, you are alone, the most important and worthy. And spending your life on a relationship in which you are uncomfortable, bad and scary definitely does not make any sense!