Thinking about divorce can hang in the air for years. Making this decision is not easy, especially if the couple has been in a relationship for more than a year. After all, a lot of effort has been invested in the union, and divorce always carries certain difficulties.
Let’s try to figure out how to save a marriage that is on the verge of divorce, and whether it is worth it.
Is divorce good or bad?
It is not worth evaluating divorce in terms of whether it is good or bad. As a rule, this event is preceded by a disturbed opportunity for cohabitation. In this situation, it is impossible for all family members to be. Sometimes divorce is the only way to somehow resolve the problem of relationships between partners.
Despite this, it always carries with it a sense of loss. There is a need to look for new forms of existence, opportunities to survive the changes. Therefore, often in a couple, a decision is made to prevent a break in relations, to make a choice in favor of resurrecting them.
During their life together, certain habits and traditions have developed. After a divorce, many issues immediately arise that need to be addressed by both parties.
How to save a marriage on the verge of divorce and is it worth it?
There may be situations in life when it makes no sense to save a marriage. Any attempt will be doomed to failure. Then razvod is better not to shelve. If you don’t see it that way:
- the husband is dependent on addictions and addictions;
- the husband is an abuser, periodically exerts physical, EMO-rational pressure on you;
- the husband does not take responsibility for the maintenance of the family, the performance of parental duties;
- the husband on the side has intimacy with other women;
- your marriage cannot be called happy, you periodically have thoughts of divorce.
How to save a marriage from divorce?
If you have to wait for a date, you should do it yourself:
- Understand intrinsic motivation. Try to give yourself an honest answer to the question: “Do you need such a family?”. Prepare in the same field as the variant that is given to you in this case. Understand that miracles do not happen. He will not be able to completely eliminate his shortcomings.
- Conduct a conflict analysis. Find out what its essence is. Listen carefully to your husband’s point of view, find out the reasons for quarrels with his side. Maybe the man is going through a difficult time right now.
How to save a family on the verge of divorce?
- Make sure that the conversation goes in the form of a monologue of a man. Listen to him completely. You can agree or not with his point of view, with his claims to you. But, don’t express your dissatisfaction. Make it clear that you value him, your union, and would like to change the situation.
- If a man does not want to talk, then pick the right time and let the conversation take place. Without it, it is impossible to save the marriage. Start with plans for life, dreams, and then move on to pressing issues.
- During the conversation, make a plan to take the relationship to the next level. Organize a joint vacation, find a common hobby for yourself that will allow you to find points of contact. You will have new conversations, you will be distracted from monotonous household chores.
- Ask your husband what he doesn’t like about you. Be prepared to listen to complaints. Try to get better. Try to look at yourself through the eyes of your spouse. No measure your own shortcomings with the shortcomings of a man. Don’t find out who is to blame. Only by admitting your own mistakes can you improve your life together. Your wisdom will not go unnoticed by your husband. He will definitely come to you.
- If You have made a decision to keep the relationship, then in the future there should be no memories of former grievances, quarrels, betrayals. Forgiveness should not be in words, but in deeds. No allow reproaches addressed to the spouse. Otherwise, the situation will only worsen and lead to a final break.
How to avoid divorce in a relationship?
If you notice that the marriage is already “bursting at the seams”, but you believe in your family, you want to save it, then the following recommendations will help you prevent a divorce:
- Stop all the negativity that destroys the family.
Look at what actions lead to a deterioration in relationships. Analyze the situation, find the connection between your actions or the actions of your partner with subsequent scandals. Perhaps you get into an argument, do not hear the arguments of your husband, or you are flirting with other men.
Often we are unaware that some actions are sure to destroy a marriage. If you try to look into the depths of the relationship, you will find that everyone made a lot of mistakes.
- Start discussing problematic issues.
Remember when you and your spouse had a conversation on problematic issues. When you figured out what each of you needs to be happy. More often than not, divorce is due to a lack of communication.
If the relationship is on the verge of divorce, then talking is the only “cure” in the current situation. Moreover, it often happens that it seems to you that you need to act in a certain way, but for a spouse this question is not at all obvious. He sees other ways to solve the problem.
Be sure to use the telephone, close the wall, keep it by the house. Start a tradition of discussing the day at the table.
- Do not complain about your spouse to third parties.
There should be no third parties in the relationship between husband and wife. No need for anything that isn’t there, it’s not there. Thus, you put your relationship in jeopardy, expose your man as a loser, and try to shift all responsibility for your union onto others.
- Don’t make any decisions under emotions.
We often make decisions about divorce under the influence of emotions. Thus, the issue cannot be resolved. That is why it is bigger than the problem, and it is not that elementary.
Before you declare a divorce, calm down, it’s better to live somewhere else. Analyze the situation and make an informed decision. Remember that even a strong family can be destroyed in 5 minutes of anger.
- Don’t listen to other people’s advice.
When a family is in a difficult period, there are usually a lot of advisers who consider themselves almost experts in family life. Don’t listen to anyone, make your own decision. Usually the advice is wrong and can make the problem worse.
If the family has developed a difficult relationship, then you can leave for a while. That way you can assess the situation from the outside. No priority decision in Goryachke. If the brake is there, you will see what you have to say about it.