How to trust a man in a relationship and can they be trusted? Max Otto von Stirlitz and Sherlock Holmes would envy your detective skills. You have the super ability to keep in mind all your man’s friends on social networks and their number. You know with whom your man logged in at the same time on FB Insta and WhatsApp.
You make a fuss about a “like” from your man to a pretty girl. You check his phone. You can easily calculate whether his attractive colleague is free or busy. Oh, congratulations: you have the skill of deduction. Oh, it’s up to you to solve problems with other…
Reasons for mistrust in a relationship
Trust in a relationship is one of the most important ingredients. Trust is the basic foundation that allows you to build a reliable, harmonious, healthy and happy family. Why are you not trusting and jealous of your man?
Jealousy is a destructive and negatively colored feeling that occurs under certain circumstances between people who experience feelings of affection.
The key words here are “destructive” and “negative”.
To that feeling is devastating. There may be several reasons for this. It is advisable to deal with such a problem with the realization of the true reason for distrust of a man. There are only four main ones and below will be their detailed analysis.
- High anxiety due to past experiences.
You’ve been cheated on in the past and you’re projecting that relationship experience onto your husband or boyfriend. No stoit ponyat that this is a completely different person and your logic in this case does not make sense. No two of the given options are to do this. Let’s take a live example.
Arthur has always been a womanizer. Gathered around him a bunch of girls. He was charming, courteous and talkative. He was able to place himself. Jeanne met him at a nightclub, he treated her to a cocktail.
The novel developed very rapidly. Arthur turned Jeanne’s head and she fell in love. They had many common interests, rich intimacy and a stormy social life. Jeanne could no longer imagine life without Arthur. Her imagination was of a country house and a bunch of kids.
No, since Arthur was a narcissistic personality, prone to being recognized by a huge audience, he began cheating on Zhanna. She caught him in correspondence with other girls several times, but forgave him. Her heart could not stand the sight of betrayal with her own eyes.
And now, Zhanna is pursuing her man in a new relationship. And perhaps her behavior will provoke his betrayal. Coldness and distrust gives rise to a desire to be consoled. Trust and lack of jealousy is the key to a reliable relationship.
How to learn to trust a man and stop living in a state of anxiety?
- High anxiety due to experiencing the experience of the parental family.
The rods are broken, if they are not in the brakes, they are in the rodent family. And now you’re projecting it into your relationship. Problems in rodent’s house are some of the rebenka and one that is not in this group in the technical language.
Well, a living example. Christina was brought up by her grandmother, as there was always discord in her parental family. Rode to the wind, to the drugs that live, to the snow. On the other hand, the drugs are ranny and not possible to pay for the results of these common problems.
It seemed to Christina that the whole problem of their relationship was the lack of control. And so Christina decided to build her relationships with men. True, the plan failed. Her men do not stand even a year. And Christina blames them, naively believing that the problem is clearly not in her.
- At the very “stigma in the cannon.”
If that’s what it takes to be there and it’s so easy to use as a partner. You project your behavior onto your man. Sometimes this happens with avoidant behavior. You changed “for the future” so that later, if you suddenly change, “it wouldn’t hurt so much.”
No problem in this, it is up to you to see, and not two partners. It is not his fault that you have psychological difficulties.
Well, a living example. Masha was shaking with adrenaline, checking her husband’s phone. On the other hand, on the plane you want the course and the name of the telephone that is on the price list. The perfect moment to see what he’s hiding. Somehow he began to behave differently.
Masha knows firsthand how behavior changes when another appears. Since she herself in marriage has repeatedly entered into relations with other men. And she found the answer to her question on the phone. There is no betrayal, a loving husband is just preparing a surprise for her, and therefore behaves strangely.
- Low self-esteem.
In this case, it constantly seems to you that you are not good enough for your man, hence the fear rubbed him.
primer. Elizabeth has never been popular. Modest and timid. Nobody ever noticed her. In the course of the institute on which it is possible to meet with Michael in the study conference. The novel was swift and now Lisa is pregnant at the registry office with Mikhail.
Misha Lisa seemed perfect. She couldn’t believe that he could turn his attention to someone like her. Therefore, jealousy burned her from the inside, although Mikhail did not give a reason and was a good husband.
There is another reason. You really see obvious signs that your man is cheating on you. But then it’s better not to torture yourself and not tormented would be yoalousy, and part with en informfil man.
TOP 7 advice on how to learn to trust your man?
And how to start trusting your man?
- Understand the true reason for distrust of a man.
The very first thing is to realize why there is no trust and what is the real reason for your jealousy. Sometimes it is impossible to do it on your own. At this stage, it is advisable to contact a psychologist.
- Raise your self-esteem.
Repeat every day in front of the mirror that you are beautiful. Keep a diary of achievements. Pamper yourself with beauty treatments. Praise yourself. Reward yourself with gifts. Work on what you regard as your shortcomings, learn to accept them, considering them your own peculiarity.
- Realize that you and your partner are separate individuals.
Most often, if a girl experiences trust problems, then she seeks to fill all space and time with herself. No matter how sad it is to realize, this will not help get rid of feelings of jealousy.
You are an individual and your relationships are not your whole life. If you have s and s linear boundaries, then you are more confident in and with the consequences
- Catch yourself with obsessive thoughts about cheating.
Every time thoughts of infidelity or jealousy come up, say “STOP” to yourself. Switch your attention to something else. Forbid yourself to allow fantasies where a guy or husband is cheating on you.
- Tell your man more often “I trust you.”
This method works on the principle of self-hypnosis. The more often you say this phrase, the calmer you will be.
- Take up new hobbies and interests.
Firstly, it will distract you from obsessive thoughts. Secondly, it will cheer you up and reduce anxiety. Thirdly, you will become more interesting for your man.
- Ask for support from your partner.
Say directly: “Darling, pay more attention to me, I want to feel loved and desired.” Only this must be done in a calm atmosphere and without any hint of hysteria and scandal.
Remember that without trust it is impossible to build a happy and strong relationship!