Relationship with an ex-boyfriend’s friend – should you start or not? What to do if you have feelings for your ex’s friend? What if he reciprocates? Can you start dating? Of course, no one can forbid you, but before taking the first step, you need to think about possible problems and develop clear rules.
What is the danger?
First of all, it is important to answer the question for yourself – is it love? Perhaps the Man just happened to be Near, When You were going through a difficult period of parting and his support. Now a feeling of sympathy calls out to you.
Perhaps the desire to start a relationship with him is an attempt to restore his self-esteem and with his help take revenge on Mine. No bye and take, so you can live where you are. Even if it isn’t possible to have two words about it.
For the same thing, it is necessary to the drug. He can start a relationship to assert himself, to show a friend that he is “better”. No, this may be love and your desire to meet is sincere.
To get to the point where the problem is, say:
- Jealousy of a man – Your new partner You will return to the former, you will want to know which of them is better and so on;
- a feeling of anxiety – when your current and former communicate, it may seem to you that they will discuss you, quarrel over you, and sometimes these thoughts, no matter how irrational they are, are very difficult to get rid of;
- condemnation of others – your mutual acquaintances may be ambivalent about what is happening, they will begin to condemn you, gossip, criticize, so it is important to stay regardless of their opinion;
- the temptation to get information – you may want to learn about your ex through a new partner, and he about you. Both will hurt the man’s self-esteem and make him feel uncomfortable;
- guilt is a rather unpleasant experience that both you and your friend will sometimes have to experience. not when you are allowed to say that;
- objective restrictions – it may turn out that both you and your ex will have to “share” a man, you will not be able to go with him to a birthday party where your ex will be and vice versa.
Types of Guys You Shouldn’t Date
Other difficulties may arise, so it is important to clearly understand how valuable your relationship is and whether you are ready to overcome difficulties to maintain it.
If this is love
Instead of thinking about whether it is right or not, what people will say, whether it will leave an imprint on the friendship of men, it is better to focus on your emotions. If you feel that you love him and want to be with him, then denying yourself happiness is not the best accuracy.
Especially if a man reciprocates you. It is important to understand that this is not only your decision but his too. And to a greater extent.
After all, you no longer owe anything to your ex you are strangers who are not bound by any relationships or obligations.
And if your lover is willing to risk and sacrifice friendship for the sake of your relationship, it’s probably worth it. How to act in such a difficult situation and not make mistakes that can ruin everything?
It is important to follow 3 rules:
- take a break;
- honest;
- set boundaries.
Take a break
Even if your feelings arose when a previous relationship was not completed, it is important to give yourself time to calm down and weigh everything. From the point of view of psychology, it is not recommended to start a new relationship until the pain of parting is experienced.
Otherwise, it threatens that with the help of a new novel, you will only try to cope with your negative experiences, psychologically you will leave your thoughts in the past, and feel doubt. All this will prevent you from building a close relationship with a new man.
Pause is important to take out of respect for the former. It’s also not easy for him to survive a breakup, and the knowledge that you immediately started a new relationship can cause ozonide.
It is important to understand that the actual separation does not always coincide with the psychological one. Sometimes spouses are still married but have become strangers and indifferent to each other. And it happens that you broke up, but EMOtionally still attached.
To better understand yourself, pay attention to the following signs:
- in your thoughts you constantly return to your past relationships, quarrels, or, conversely, pleasant moments, remember the first meeting;
- thoughts or mentions of the past evoke an EMO-rational reaction in you: anger, resentment, anxiety, excitement, lubosto;
- you follow him on social networks, try to find out through mutual friends how he is doing;
- when you find out that he is dating someone, you feel jealous;
- you and the former cannot communicate calmly when they collide but go either to sorting out the relationship and making claims or to demonstrating how everything is “good” with you.
The surest indicator that you have psychologically parted with him and are ready for a new relationship is the spoke shine, leave. The current man should excite you much more than your ex.
Be honest
Don’t stop there. A man needs to confess to his friend that he has feelings for you and you want to start meeting. Context matters in this conversation.
If sympathy arose after your Separation, THEN It is important to emphasize this, showing that you did not have Secret feelings or Romance. This will make it easier for your ex to accept the situation.
No day in the car is very valuable, so it is possible to get the cone. You need not take responsibility for it or feel guilty. This is the decision of your new lover and his choice.
Set boundaries
In such a situation, even before starting a relationship, it is necessary to establish several rules so as not to face unpleasant consequences:
- exclude all talk about the former and your relationship with him;
- agree that your new man will not discuss what is happening between you and your ex;
- in front of you
- do not try to quarrel with your current and ex-boyfriend if they manage to maintain friendly relations;
- do not try to take advantage of this friendship to find out if the former has found a new passion for himself, as with a negligee;
- do not speak out about which of them is better, and do not answer such questions.
You need to define a clear boundary. The former has remained in the past for you, now you are building completely different relationships. Not that it’s necessary for a small country, the Romans can come.
No one can tell if it’s right or wrong to date your ex’s friend. People cannot always control the feelings that arise between them.
Such relationships will have their problems and difficult moments, but if you want to be smart.
