Stages and psychology of the development of relations between a man and a woman. A love story always has a beginning and an end. Ideally, this is just one life-long romance, but much more often these are multiple acquaintances, sooner or later leading to something serious. The main stages in the development of relationships are not a canon that should be followed. There are many points of view that consider relationships as an endless cycle or a continuous straight line, but they are all subtly similar.
People meet and get to know each other, get to know each other and disperse. These days, it’s getting harder and harder to tell where a full-blown, multi-chapter romance begins and where a humble affair that leaves only disappointment. If you learn to determine at what stage you are at the moment, you can easily determine if your couple has a chance. The article will consider the main periods through which all couples go through, as well as options for solving problems.
The first step in any relationship is getting to know each other. And not directly, but visually. Before there is a desire to know what a person really is, people determine his significance visually. Whether he or she is attractive in appearance, how sexy he or she is, and what kind of gestures he has. All this can be determined in just a few seconds, but on average it takes longer. There is a widespread belief that people can initially fit each other. They are attracted to smells, non-verbal cues, a smile, or even laughter. Sexual energy can both bind members of the opposite sex and repel.
The biggest problem at this stage is bias. Many may misunderstand some signs. For example, many form an opinion based on the type of clothing. A tracksuit means impudent and ill-mannered, a leather jacket and metal chains means a rude and badass. But if you think more broadly, then behind all this “screen” you can see something more.
The only advice I can give people at this stage is not to think too narrowly. Indeed, behind external simplicity or complexity, really important features can be hidden. In the same way, you should not “be led” by an attractive shell, because it is not a guarantee that everything will work out for you.
Closer than it seems
The second stage is a closer communication. At this moment, people are trying to understand how they are located to each other. At this stage, they learn names, hobbies, lifestyle. Such a couple passed the first “test” – they found reasons to continue communication and open up a little more. Here people find common ground, which in the future could influence the development of the novel. For example, if one likes heavy music and another prefers pop artists, then this can be a cause for controversy. Or vice versa to make people even closer, because opposites attract.
The main problem here is not to be categorical. Indeed, many believe that if the interlocutor does not pass according to some criteria, then he can immediately be screened out. Girls want more attention to their person, gifts and romance, while the guy is clearly not ready for such a rapid development of relationships. It is important to understand that not everything is given at once. You can recognize a person for many years, but never fully understand him. This is the biggest injustice, because even if you show patience, no one guarantees that everything will be fine.
The tactic of behavior here is to be attentive, but not to “cut off the shoulder.” You barely met, you still don’t know much, so some shortcomings actually have serious reasons. Be tactful, listen to your interlocutors, and then you will succeed.
The world in pink
The beginning of the birth of real feelings is the third period. The stages of development of relations have a different time period, but this stage can be called fleeting. People for the first time begin to feel attraction to each other, to desire more than just communication. It becomes important for them to spend as much time as possible next to their soul mate, and her absence brings real discomfort. Butterflies in the stomach, the soul wide open, increased emotionality, irrational actions – all these are signs that you are in love. Many believe that this is where true love lies. However, this is not the case at all. This stage is characterized by more physical attraction than spiritual, and it is very easy to destroy harmony.
The problem of this period is the lack of logic in actions. Men and women are captured by their ideals, so they often lose sight of the obvious shortcomings of their chosen ones. The obvious drunk looks like a charming “joker”, and the frank greedy – economical and far-sighted. All you need to understand is that your feelings can overshadow the voice of reason, which will subsequently make you unhappy. Many tend to romanticize this episode of their relationship, saying that any difficulties can be overcome together. But the fact remains the same – the largest number of mistakes are made by people in love.
The solution here is simple and obvious – turn your head on more often. Falling in love is wonderful, but it should be a source of development and progress, not decline. Sometimes you need to soberly assess the situation, so as not to be left with nothing later. If these relationships force you to constantly sacrifice something important to you, then they are not so ideal. However, if the couple survives this period, they become stronger and have more chances for a long-term relationship.
Autumn for the senses
Dizzying love is replaced by a peaceful calm. At this stage, people most often decide to live together, so they gradually master the joint life. However, no matter how hectic this moment seemed, it is a real test for couples. Many are sure that there is nothing better than falling asleep and waking up with a loved one. And if you limit yourself to sleep, then it is. However, besides it, there are many other cases that have to be divided into two.
Paying bills, shopping for groceries, cleaning, washing, cooking – all these routine activities gradually begin to destroy the flair of romance that existed from the beginning. And the first serious quarrels on domestic grounds begin. And there is also obvious dissatisfaction with the fact that romance has disappeared, there is no longer that exciting feeling of meeting, and some excitement inherent in the beginning of a relationship has disappeared.
It seems so stupid and wrong to swear about dirty dishes or things not put in the closet, but there is no getting around it. After all, in fact, all these little things make up life. Without them it is impossible to exist normally in the modern world. The future of your relationship depends on how much you learn to put up with the imperfections of your soulmate and recognize your own shortcomings.
Often, many are sure that you just need to endure, and then everything will work out by itself. But it is worth remembering that there is nothing more difficult than building competent communication with your partner. This period tests how much you are able to hear and listen. Here you can’t be silent and hide your discontent, because in the end you will break anyway, and it will only get worse.
The advantage of this period is that if you “overcome” it, then you will most likely no longer encounter everyday problems. No, they will still be, but your reaction to them will be more calm. The next stages of relationship development only strengthen your trust in each other and make you even closer.
Grief and joy
Attachment – this is how you can characterize this period of relationship.
People have a warmer feeling, which makes the soulmate literally a native person. Passion can fade into the background, you just like being together. Comfort, security, tenderness – this is the moment closest to true love. However, this is still not the feeling that poets love to sing about and writers to glorify. This period only reinforces the confidence of two people that they are really suitable for each other.
There are no particular problems here. Many consider the lack of sexual attractiveness to be a significant drawback, but this does not always happen and not with everyone. Sexual life can also be in full swing, regardless of age. As a rule, at such a moment, the couple already has grown-up children, they went through the main problematic moments in their upbringing together, and this only tempered their feelings.
If you understand that there is more to your partner than just sex and shared obligations, then this is the first sign that your feelings are real. They passed the test and showed that you know how to appreciate the one who is next to you, as well as admit your own mistakes. Complete harmony and stability – nothing else can lead you astray and scare you more than a break with your soul mate.
From now on and forever
Having gone through difficulties and hardships, overcoming the most miserable and happiest moments together, you can reach the moment when you know true love. Many young couples are sure that the very first attraction to each other is love. But in reality, everything is much more complicated. After all, true feeling takes time, like good steel needs hardening. Without all this, even the most beautiful and big words will not make any sense.
There are no problems, as such, because even any minor troubles do not cause you any reason to worry. You are completely confident in your partner, trust him and are not afraid of betrayal and betrayal. In principle, it cannot be, since the period when you could think about other life partners has long passed. True love usually comes when two people have already been through a lot. This is an adult and even mature feeling, rarely available to young hearts.
In order to ever feel this euphoria, you need to understand that without hard work you will not get anything. Only attentive attitude, care, tenderness and sympathy, coupled with complete trust and sincerity, can make your relationship lasting. Otherwise, you will simply “fall out of the race” at the first check stage and will be left with a broken heart and emptiness in your soul.
Love is not just a label for sexual desire. There is so much deep meaning behind this word that no one can immediately understand it. The phrase “I love you” is now spoken on every corner, so its price has become too low. But the stages of relationship development show that every man and every woman faces roughly the same problems as they get to know each other.
You can consider this as a way to weed out everyone who is not able to give, but is used to only receiving. The fact remains one thing – it is impossible to maintain a romantic mood at all periods of your life. Sooner or later you have to become practical and tough. And your future will depend on how the other half reacts to this.
There is an interesting expression: “you love me black, and I will love you white.” This means that a person is not ready to get rid of his shortcomings for the sake of loved ones, but he will evaluate his partner only by good deeds. Such selfishness is unacceptable for those couples who expect to live a long and happy life together. If something is not going well in your relationship, then just think – are you so critical of yourself, or are you used to criticizing only the one who is nearby?
It is possible that the answer will surprise or even disappoint you. However, only by admitting your imperfection will you begin to change for the better. And along with this, there will be changes for the better in your relationship. And this is one of the signs that you still get to the last stage of the “evolution” of relationships and know the pleasant feeling of true love.
Stages and psychology of the development of relations between a man and a woman