Where and how to find a normal guy for a girl? Search for your soulmate. Finding a soul mate is not an easy process. For some, it may take very little time, while others are able to look for a suitable pair for almost a lifetime. It is believed that men make fewer demands on the chosen one, and there are certain reasons for this. Women have many obligations in the modern world: giving birth and raising children, taking care of the house and spouse, work. All this is very exhausting emotionally, so the girls themselves are often more picky in choosing a betrothed. Many of them think that I want a normal guy, but they make the most banal mistakes.
How to understand that the person next to you is exactly what you need? What are the signs that you are missing out on your happiness in pursuit of an ephemeral ideal? In the article we will consider how to find your soul mate for girls, and at the same time not be disappointed in your own choice.
Where and how to find a normal guy for a girl? Search for your soulmate.
Critical thinking
The first thing you should pay attention to is your approach to finding a life partner. If you dream of Brad Pete, but you yourself are not going to live up to it, then we have bad news for you. Of course, it also happens that a man falls in love with a lady who outwardly seems completely unsuitable to him. But in modern realities, the opposite rule is increasingly valid. If you want an ideal, conform. No amount of daydreaming and thinking about princes and knights will save you from being judged. And you may not like these ratings at all.
The first thing to start with is to make a list of qualities that seem important to you in a man. Will it be kindness, a sense of humor and reliability, or more practical character traits – it does not matter. Just think about what you really need, discarding all the stereotypes about what a “real man” should be. Everyone has different tastes, and therefore not everyone likes pumped-up athletes who can lift a car with one hand. Some even prefer short and even full guys, because they seem cozy and sincere.
When compiling the list, often think about how you could live with a guy who does not have some kind of character trait. For example, if he is not very economical or not very attentive. Absent-mindedness is inherent not only to the fair sex, but also to representatives of the strong half of humanity. The more honest you are with yourself, the more objectively you will be able to relate to your future relationship. Otherwise, you will look like a capricious young lady who can only demand, but is not ready to give anything in return.
Permissible self-criticism
The next step is practically the same as the previous one. Here you will also have to work with lists, but now they will concern you directly. In particular, you must soberly assess your own strengths and weaknesses. Think about what qualities in yourself you consider good and worthy, and which ones should be changed or completely eliminated. In this case, you will be able not only to recognize yourself, but also in the future to skillfully present yourself to the future chosen one.
The catch here is that there are many girls who are able to admit their shortcomings, but few who are ready to fight them. For example, you are sure that you are overweight and for a harmonious relationship you need to get in shape. However, you do nothing to improve the situation. You keep lying on the couch and dreaming that there will be a noble man who will accept you with all your shortcomings. There is nothing wrong with being fat, but if you do not love yourself in your body, no one will do it for you. Accept the fact that the modern world has become similar to commodity-money relations. You have to offer yourself, and the more confident you are, the more likely you are to be bought.
Do not try to draw up “Napoleonic plans” for yourself, it is better to act gradually, step by step. It will be much more convincing if you set yourself the goal of “lose 5 kg in a month” than “Become Ms. Olympia in two weeks.” The biggest changes start small, so keep that in mind when making your lists.
Meeting point
Every girl who has ever said that I want a normal guy without obvious flaws has made an obvious mistake at least once. She chose the wrong places to search. If you tend to constantly go to clubs, get drunk and mindlessly dance in an embrace with strangers, then you are unlikely to have a chance for a happy family life. Clubs are, in principle, not the place where they look for a life partner. A one-night stand, a “daddy”, a casual acquaintance, but not someone with whom you can live happily ever after. Change the territory of “hunting”, and you will certainly succeed.
As a rule, those who are thinking about building a serious relationship may already have an exemplary candidate. Before you begin to get close, you need to go through a period of friendly communication. Remember one golden rule – do not rush. Normal guys will not drag you into bed at the first opportunity and shamelessly talk about their previous adventures. You need to communicate on neutral territory, best of all where you will feel comfortable. You can have a snack together in a cafe, chat on the way to study or work, cross paths in a store. All these are everyday and everyday situations that can bring even complete strangers together.
For acquaintance, it is recommended to choose cultural events where you can be connected by one common hobby. For example, at a music festival, in a movie, at an exhibition of paintings. Here you can be more sure that your interests will coincide, and besides, you will have a reason to share your leisure time together. The best way to meet a normal guy is in a natural environment. If you don’t like contemporary art, then you shouldn’t go to an exhibition where it is presented. You will feel uncomfortable and will not be able to relax. And why do you need a guy who is interested in things that you do not like?
Basic rules of communication
Often, girls forget that there is no “main thing” in a relationship. Both partners are equivalent and equal, and therefore it is at least stupid to demonstrate their superiority.
Have you just got yourself a boyfriend and want to get to know him better? Then be patient and restrained. You need to show the main features of your character, and at the same time not look like a queen who sticks out her dignity. Be respectful and do not try to “shout” your interlocutor. No man will be positive about the fact that his passion behaves like a selfish hysteric.
The safest bet is to listen. Men like to talk and see that his interlocutor is completely absorbed in his words. A normal guy will be grateful for such a respectful attitude to his words, so he will certainly demonstrate his appreciation. Another way to get a guy to like you is not to ignore his problems. It is generally accepted that the stronger sex has no troubles that they could not cope with on their own. But it’s not. Everyone needs support sometimes. And if you once again dismiss his feelings, then he will turn around and leave. It would be hard to judge him though. Selfishness and indifference are not the best qualities for a worthy life partner. Keep this in mind when you build your dialogue.
Another point that many girls overlook is obsession. Of course, everyone wants to spend as much time as possible with their boyfriend. However, every person should have their own personal space. It can be some hobbies, a solitary mug of coffee in the morning, the opportunity to have a banal sleep alone.
These points are relevant if you do not live together, but those who share life together should also have personal space. Let it be going out to a cafe with friends or just playing a computer game – it doesn’t matter. Most importantly, you should give your partner a chance to take a break from communicating with you.
Warning signs
A girl who has decided – I want a normal guy, of course, must be careful in her actions. However, this does not mean at all that the man himself does not play any role in this game. There are several signs that will tell you for sure that this is not a good and decent man in front of you. The sooner you learn to recognize these signs, the less disappointment you will end up with.
The first obvious sign is selfishness. It is difficult to call a normal guy who constantly neglects you for the sake of his own needs. He can seek meetings only when he needs it and is profitable, while ignoring all your requests. And as soon as you refuse him a little whim at least once, he immediately turns into either a tyrant or an indifferent stranger. Just keep track of how often you meet and do something on your initiative. If this does not happen at all, then the conclusion is obvious – you have an egoist in front of you. It is almost impossible to change his behavior, as he is used to getting the best and giving nothing in return. Such a companion is not suitable for a serious relationship – it is too difficult and unpredictable in communication.
Another sign that you are clearly not the one you need is indifference. If a person does not want to know what problems you have at work, is not particularly passionate about meeting up, does not try to talk about his own life, then he simply does not need a relationship. Even if it seems to you that something romantic is hidden behind this silence, then you are seriously mistaken. Behind it lies an early desire to get rid of you, or at least break the distance. Indifferent men do not build relationships, they can only seek temporary solace in women’s arms. The main mistake here is to try to remake the guy. It won’t change the way you want. Accept that this time you were not lucky and you should look for another option.
The third sign is despotism. Some young ladies think that jealousy is very romantic and shows true feelings. But jealousy can be different. Sometimes jealous guys could beat and even maim their girlfriends, and this does not speak of love, but of psychological pathology. Despotism is not immediately noticeable. At first, it’s just nice requests not to go anywhere. Because he wants to be always there.
Then this statement that all your girlfriends are not worthy of communication, so he forbids you to see each other. And then he begins to control your every step. Remember one thing – if your man protects you from relatives. Close and beloved people, then this is not your man. He just wants to own an obedient doll that will do his bidding. Maybe somewhere in the depths of his soul he has feelings, but he forgets about them, as soon as jealousy wakes up.
The fourth sign is a strong desire to remake you. Just as you shouldn’t raise a guy, he shouldn’t raise you. Love is the ability to accept each other for who you are. If you constantly hear reproaches and instructions that make you give up your own beliefs, then you should not sit and wait. You just need to turn around and leave. If you are ready to follow his instructions all your life, do not give a damn about your own desires and turn into a completely different person than you wanted to be, then you can stay. But in the end, you yourself will feel unhappy and rejected in the end.
Real relationships are art. Girls always say “I want a normal guy”, but they don’t quite understand what needs to be done for this. Just be patient, be careful, respect your future or current boyfriend, but do not forget about respect for yourself. In this case, you will certainly be able to become happy and say with confidence that you have found a normal guy that you have been dreaming about for so long.
Where and how to find a normal guy for a girl? Search for your soulmate.
